MIL, DC and the film 'Transformers'

[MumbotInDisguise]

Would you do anything about this?

A few weeks ago, I mentioned to MIL when discussing possible birthday presents for DS (5) that he is keen on Transformer toys, although he doesn't realise there is a film and I don't want to him to.

Last week, DH dropped off the children to spend some time with MIL and she said she had recorded the Transformers film off sky (? can you record off Sky? we don't have it) and what did he think about DS watching it? DH said NO, its a 12, its far too old for him.

When the DCs got home, they told me they had both been watching Transformers. BOTH of them - age almost 5 and 3!! Unusually MIL didn't come to drop them off, just FIL, and he didn't come in or anything. Upon questioning DCs are adament it was a film not a cartoon.

DS had two nightmares that night and I was up and down with the pair of them waking each other up like a relay team, for 3 hours.

I was a bit hacked off with MIL but thought she must have forgotten our conversation a few weeks back. I didn't find out until the next day about the explicit NO from DH.

I told her and FIL about the nightmares and they looked very sheepish. FIL was a bit 'told you so' towards MIL.

Whats done is done, DH reckons no point mentioning it further. PILs are brilliantly generous and look after DCs one day a week. I am ok with them not doing everything 'my way', they have tons of sweets, McDonalds and presents every week, but I am really disappointed about this. It seems to (a) lack their usual common sense and (b) stick two fingers up at what DH and I set down as rules.

I don't suppose there is a lot I can do. I guess I just want to moan. sorry!

(Have name changed so if MIL happened to see this she won't know my usual name.)

[GetDownYouWillFall]

YANBU. Just because they are kind and give you childcare, doesn't give them the right to undermine you as parents.
It was out of order letting them watch transformers, and the nightmares alone are evidence that was completely inappropriate for them.
Hopefully your PILs will have seen the error of their ways and will listen to you and DH next time (you know your children best).
What about the MaccyDs and sweets? Or are you just having to pick your battles?

[paisleyleaf]

yanbu
(a) (b)
and (c) disregard for the children being scared and seeing things they're too young for.

[MumbotInDisguise]

Thanks. Re. the McDs and sweets (and fruit shoots!) - it is more often than I would like but it doesn't seem worth mentioning. MIL thinks anything bought is better than anything home made so my catering suggestions usually baffle her. If they don't go to MaccyDs they have sausage rolls and crisps at her house. So either way its a pretty nutrionless day - I just try and make sure the other 6 days of the week are healthy.

Maybe next week I will send them with Tinkerbell DVD (dead subtle, me)

[deliakate]

Sweet. Not bu imo. It would annoy me too.

I know its more work, but could you send them over with some preprepared food, or even just snacks in pots, to 'save' her the trouble of driving to McD's?

[WidowWadman]

My mum let me watch "animal farm" when I was 4 or 5, because she thought it's animation and therefore clearly aimed at children.
I remember being quite perturbed. A few years later she repeated the same with "When the wind blows". I was 6 and scared shitless.

I'm sure your MIL went well, but I'd be having words, too.

[SomeGuy]

Transformers are rather juvenile as a toy, it's not surprising people are that they have turned it into such an adult film.

[CheerfulYank]

YANBU. I'm very strict about what my DS watches and I would be upset that my wishes had been ignored.

I work at our local movie theater and I was surprised by how many 6 and 7 year olds I saw coming in to watch it. It's rated PG-13 for a REASON.

[VengefulKitty]

I am on the fence... because of my own actions.

I think it was wrong to go against your express wishes. Both you and your DH has said no to the film. That was quite clear, so they should not have been allowed to watch it. The nightmares are evidence that the film was inappropriate for them.

However, my DS watched Transformers when he was in hospital aged 3.8 and loved it. His favourite film to this date. He nalso now has the second film. Both bought for him by me. He loves all things superhero/marvel - Hulk, Ironman, Spiderman etc and has never once had a nightmare as a result.

He is banned from Power Rangers though as that gave his awful nightmares!

Horses for different courses.

Still, you have a right to be put out and I hope the nightmares stop soon.

[MumbotInDisguise]

Thanks all, and thankfully the nightmares seemed to be just for the one night.

deliakate - good idea but MIL very offended when I used to provide food, as you say, 'to save her the trouble'. From when DS was tiny - I'd send over a portion of homemade shepherds pie or whatever, she'd report back 'but theres no need, I've got some Mums Own jars in, that'll be better'. When she saw the homemade cake I baked for DDs birthday she was mortified because if she'd known I was making it myself, MIL would have bought 'a proper one'. I don't think we'll ever see eye to eye on food, and thankfully both DC are healthy so its not too much of an issue.