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AIBU?

aibu to be a bit miffed with my sister?

15 replies

edd021208 · 23/01/2010 19:08

It is my mum's 70th birthday and my sister offered to have dinner in her house with everyone pitching in (bringing wine, desserts, cheese etc). At first it was just adults (my sibs, their partners and my parents). I presumed it would be at 8 so we could get babysitter for our dcs ( mine are 1 and 5 y.o.) and we were going to do something early tea timeish with my mum the next day with my dcs cousins (all aged 10+).
Today my sister told me that all the cousins are going to her house for the dinner, so i asked if it could be earlyish (5/6) so my dcs could come as well. She just emailed everyone saying it is at 7. We won't be able to go at this time, as we don't have a babysitter who knows the kids well enough to put them to bed. Apparently she has declared 'no under 10s' but as my dcs are the only ones under 10 effectively they aren't really invited. I've emailed her to say we won't be able to come at 7 and now my other sister says that my dcs should be included as all their cousins are...........I'm not really in the business of insisting they are included in everything - if they were up much past 9/9:30 it wouldn't be much fun for them or anyone else - but aibu to think my sister should have it earlier?

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piratecat · 23/01/2010 19:15

if they have it earlier then your dc's will go, but you will prob have to cut the evening short as you dc's will get tired. Surely it would be better if they had it at 7, then you could say look can u hold off till 7.30, and then your dc's will be in bed, and you can use a sitter, and have a nice evening. You said yourslef your dc's can see their cousins next day? 1 and 5 is young to be up, and 5-6 oclock is prob to early for the majority.

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diddl · 23/01/2010 19:24

Can´t you take them & let them sleep there if necessary?

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bintofbohemia · 23/01/2010 19:26

If they're not invited, and you don't have a sitter, she's effectively ruling you all out?! What does she expect you to do, have you asked?

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edd021208 · 23/01/2010 19:39

piratecat - we don't have a sitter that we have used before and we live 30 mintues drive away so as earliest ds will be in bed is 7:30/8 it pushes on the time. It is on a sunday night (i.e. school night) so not easy for anyone else if we start much later. and the monday tea thing has been pretty much cancelled - or at least the cousins wouldn't be there as they'll be there the day before and it involves a lot of faff as both my dh and I work and my mum lives 30/40 min drive away.

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MumNWLondon · 23/01/2010 19:39

Why not just go a bit late.... get them to bed as early as possible, and get there as soon as possible?

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edd021208 · 23/01/2010 19:59

I suppose we could go a bit late, I'd rather not as it is a surprise for my mum and there will be 10 of my dcs' cousins there including 4 making the special trip from London so I thought it would be nice of my sister to be inclusive. I did say to her originally before she said the time that my dcs didn't have to be there, presuming it would be at 8/8:30.

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MrsVidic · 23/01/2010 20:05

she is being unreasonable

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orienteerer · 23/01/2010 20:07

Why hold it on a Sunday night?

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diddl · 23/01/2010 20:11

One of those times when a lunch time thing might have been better!

But surely your mum will want your children there?

Do you have a car each?
Maybe your husband could take the children home after a couple of hours?

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edd021208 · 23/01/2010 20:24

Sunday night as that suits one of my sibs best (he is flying in from abroad) and it is the night before the birthday.
Yes, lunch time would be way way better but do not want to suggest that.
I presume my mum would want the children there, although she sees them a fair bit and it may not be that big a deal for her as there will be so many other people there.
Just the one car, and poor dh is often landed with that kind of maneovure (sp?).
why are families such awkward bu**ers?

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edd021208 · 23/01/2010 20:31

sorry, i know not exactly scintillating but moving towards a conclusion - sister has offered (clearly through gritted teeth) to now have it earlier, just as i also offered in the same manner to come later. problem solved.....thanks, now all go and have a fun saturday night!

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diddl · 23/01/2010 20:36

Was just about to´suggest you go alone?

Earlier sounds good!

Hope it all goes OK!

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edd021208 · 23/01/2010 20:39

thanks everyone - my dh is usually very self-sacrificing so if he didn't come it would be very 'poor him'...but much more importantly, he'd have a good time and my family, unused as they are to quiet and considerate individuals, actually lke him!

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edd021208 · 23/01/2010 20:41

and again, many thanks. this was actually very helpful in getting me to figure it out w/o allowing all those years of family slights and resentments bubble up. Bye!

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bintofbohemia · 24/01/2010 10:41

Oh, I know that one edd! Glad you got it sorted, hope you have a good evening!

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