To sometimes bloody bloody HATE weekends???

[TheTetherEndsHere]

Feeling like a bad mum so here goes.....
I work all week until the kids finish school and then spend most afternoons ferrying them to and from their many activities and sorting out their dinners. Housework kind of gets fitted in amongst the other chores.
DH works shifts and the weekends he is on he is expected to put in 8 hours daily PLUS cover the night-time on-call. Nights are always busy so most working weekends he is either catching up on sleep or going to work.
I hate these weekends with a passion. I feel we should be using them for "quality time" but I always end up wondering what to do with the kids, wishing they would stop bugging me and craving some time to myself.
Of course, the kids get bored. Their friends aren't usually free as they are off having "family time" and money is a bit tight so I struggle with thinking of things to do that we could all enjoy.
There's only so many DVDs we can watch, walks we can take....
Plus, where do I get to relax?
To be honest, the weekends where DH isn't working aren't always much better as they usually come at the end of a ten-day stint with call-outs and he usually is knackered and catches every bug going because his immunity is compromised by the exhaustion and inhospitable hours.
I'm fed up of watching yet another "wasted" weekend go by.......
[sigh]

[Jackaroo]

YAsoNBU - I'm too fatigued to explain (see long other post on airline nappies), but I feel for you, I really do.

[Tryharder]

I know how you feel. It's worse in the winter; at least in summer you can chuck them out in the back garden and lock the door behind them.

[PuppyMonkey]

Weekends are seriously overrated IMHO. Have you got friends nearby to meet up with? Could you do a babysitting swap type thing? Tell the truth I much prefer the weekdays I go to work.

[compo]

What time do the kids go to bed? I only get a break in the evenings once they are asleep.
What about soft play in this weather?

[TheCrackFox]

YANBU. My Dh is a chef and works every single Saturday. I can't meet up with friends because they are having family time. It has got a lot better now the DCs are a bit older (4 and 8yrs) but during the baby/toddler years it drove me slightly insane TBH.

[vanimal]

YANBU. I am also sat alone at home with DDs (28 months and 7 months old), whilst DH is at work.

I can't meet up with friends as everyone else is spending family time together.

The snow is awful here, so not really anywhere suitable I can take them.

Hate, hate, hate weekends at the moment

[gobsmackedetal]

YANBU. There's a reason I went back to work as soon as my fanjo was stitched up

How old are your kids?

[kreecherlivesupstairs]

YADNBU. I don't mind Saturdays, but loathe Sundays. All day my dd must be quiet (it is the law in Switzerland), she is pretty good, but I feel I must take her out somewhere and entertain her. Every Sunday.

[bibbitybobbitysantahat]

My dh works loads of weekends. Often all day and all evening too, getting home past midnight.

It is frustrating that other families are having family time and so we have to entertain ourselves but, as this is the nature of dh's job and always has been, I decided long ago I could get upset and resentful about it or I could make the best of it because it isn't ever going to change.

So I do my best. Weekends are a great time for exercise and sport, swimming, bike riding, going to the park all that sort of stuff. I make the kids go to the supermarket with me every now and then, to remind them what a chore it is to provide food for everyone in the house (!) but also because you can make this an event in itself if you put some effort in.

Occasionally I'll take them by myself to my Mum or Dad's house for a visit and sleepover.

I limit after school activities to 3 nights a week between them.

[TheCrackFox]

How old are your DCs Bibbity?

My DH is a chef so weekends are extra crazy for him. He normally gets home past midnight too.

I am having a lazy day today but normally on a Saturday we would go to the cinema (kids club so unbelievably cheap), swimming, park, pizza or, if feeling really masochistic, softplay. I am used to being chief entertainment officer. However, this new found freedom only really started in the last 2 years as my boys have got older. The baby years are hard as everyone else is busy at the weekends.

[SerendipitousHarlot]

It's the law in Switzerland that children have to be quiet on a Sunday

[bibbitybobbitysantahat]

Mine are primary school age and I get the feeling the op's are too, although I might be wrong.

[TheTetherEndsHere]

thanks everyone, feel a bit better.
My DD is 8 and my DS 4.

[WinkyWinkola]

OP, is there any way that instead of their having activities after school during the week, they could have some moved to the weekend?

[TheCrackFox]

TheTethersEnd - glad you are feeling a bit better.

At least we have found out that there are quite a few of us in the same boat.

[kreecherlivesupstairs]

SH. Not the law that children have to be quiet, it's everyone+. Where we live, quiet time is 22.00-07.00 then 12-14.00 and all day on Sunday.

[Hullygully]

Yo Tether (it's more fun at Mimi's btw).

Am slightly aghast at this "family time" concept. What is this? Have never heard of it. We have alwsys met up with other families/friends/single friends/a mix etc because otherwise it is terribly dull as you say. When did this weird nuclear isolation start? (My dc are slightly older may be it is a modern thing?)

Why not break the mould and invite another family over for lunch/ drinks/ tea etc?

[Hullygully]

And where I live everyone's poor so we don't do anything that costs. Go to the the park together/ go toboganning/ etc

[biryani]

U think your expectations are too high, both of yourself and of your kids. Bringing up children is supposed to be a chore; teach them to entertain themselves, shut the door on them an forget them for a while if you can and please don't indulge yourself with those "bad mother" thoughts!! No-one's life is perfect! just grin and bear it until littluns are older and more independent and meanwhile, don't beat beat yourself up!!

[CirrhosisByTheSea]

totally agree with biryani. They have very busy weeks and you provide them with clubs and activities and help with homework and provide lovely dinners, it is great for you all to have some downtime at the weekend, and it is totally ok for you to say "stop bugging me, go and entertain yourself and I do not want to hear a peep for an hour at least!" It's good for them to consider you. To think that you work hard all week and will have a rest for some of the weekend.

Banish the guilt, because it won't do them any favours in the long run. As they get older they need to be aware that you are not there just to serve their needs but are a person in your own right too.

Agree with inviting someone over for dinner if you want to and feel a bit bored, but don't feel you have to do anythinh!

[Momdeguerre]

Yanbu. My DH and I both work shifts and weekends are the worst.

Currently DH is sleeping after nights while I try to keep 17 month old DS quiet. My usual friends are enjoying time with their families and I can't go out because I am having a nightmare pregnancy.

Hate weekends but do love the time we get together during the week.