ok, i split from ds's dad approx 7 years ago, awful divorce but i always did what i could to ensure ds, now 10, had a regular relationship with his twunt of a father... Its worked well and have no major problems. He collects on time, has him alternate weekends and half of holidays and will make rearrangements as needed, as do i... He pays maintenance each month, not alot but enough and i havent asked for an increase since the split but ask him to contribute half towards big expenses such as school residentials/cub camps etc and he is happy to contribute.
When we split he 'shacked up' with a woman whom i had no issue with but thought was a bit rough and is now a 4x4 but ds seemed ok going there, got on with kids etc and apart from not being fed or washed much while there didnt come to harm. Then his behaviour really slipped and it transpired that this woman was being violent to his dad in front of the kids etc so with his dads agreement access stopped whilst his dad moved out and they split up, ds had a najor panic attack on way home with me after the last visit before the split.
Sadly ds has a 6 month old half brother... And so contact remained and the woman wouldnt let his dad have access away from her house and so ds has been visiting there..
I've had suspicions for a while and ds has confirmed today that xh and this woman are back together. When it all went wrong i made it clear to xh that ds was not to spend any significant time with this woman and that if they got back together we'd have to seriously consider the access arrangements..
I have remarried, and have a 5 week dd with dh, dh and ds adore each other btw...
Aibu to worry about ds? He's due to start high school next year and i dont want him to have to deal with extra stress as i know his dad has told him not to tell me things in the past... Should i tell xh that i'm not happy and that we need to revise access? I'm really not sure...
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AIBU?
in being worried about my ds at my xh's?
18 replies
issysmilkbottle · 01/01/2010 16:52
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