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AIBU?

To be OBSESSED with buying a house?

49 replies

santasmagicnappysack · 30/12/2009 21:16

DH and I both work for the public sector, him FT and me PT. We live in a very nice area of central london - good schools, parks and museums nearby and a very low crime rate. We have virtually no commute so both spend lots of time together and with lovely DD. This is because we are lucky enough to rent a 2 bed flat from a housing association. We have a 10mo DD so money is tight but as we are we just about make ends meet each month.

However, since we had DD I am absolutely obsessed with buying a house. We could never in our wildest dreams afford to buy something near where we live at present. Every day I find myself scouring rightmove.co.uk for post codes we could maybe one day afford to live in, working out how long it would take us to get to work, searching for primary schools in the area, reading the admissions policy and ofstead reports. I constantly put our salaries into mortgage calculators and get so depressed when I realise we could barley afford a garage in the commuter belt, let alone a house. I even read the tory green paper on housing to see where we'd stand if they won the next GE.

I have found myself building up a whole fantasy life for us in a lovely 3 bed semi in the commuter belt AIBU??

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annabelcaramel · 30/12/2009 21:20

I don't for one moment think yabu. It is just the way this country works. If you were abroad in some places where renting is the norm these thoughts wouldn't cross your mind. But you're not, so they do/will. I know I'd do the same in your situation, and have no idea what the answer is or what you should do. But I definitely deon't think yabu.

busybutterfly · 30/12/2009 21:23

Not BU at all. DH and I had to move from rented in West London to 20 miles outside London to afford to buy somewhere.

That was 8yrs ago and prices are still high out here so good luck.

JaneS · 30/12/2009 21:24

No, I know exactly how you feel. Just doesn't feel like you can ever relax in a rented place as they can always chuck you out. Good luck with plans for buying though!

blueshoes · 30/12/2009 21:57

Don't housing associations have shared ownership schemes? Will that help you get a foot on the ladder?

scottishmummy · 30/12/2009 22:03

are you eligible for any key worker housing scheme

fishie · 30/12/2009 22:03

a two bed flat in central london is many people's idea of heaven. if it isn't yours then talk to housing association and see what they can offer. owning a house is pain in arse.

MaggieMnaSneachta · 30/12/2009 22:07

you are me. except i'm looking on daft.ie
otherwise,,,,,,, you are not alone. i keep adding up my money and hoping it will add up to a bit more than it did than the last time. do you do that!?

santasmagicnappysack · 30/12/2009 22:08

I was worried everyone was going to tell me IABU for having a HA flat and still moaning.

blueshoes - I had a good look at the shared ownership schemes. IMHO - The problem with most of them is that the purchase price seems to be hugely inflated. Plus with rent and mortgage to pay, we couldn't afford our monthly repayments. It was very disheartening, we couldn't afford to buy even 25% of a property!

OP posts:

scottishmummy · 30/12/2009 22:10

why not rent long term if nice area and settled?secure tenancy with HA is good deal

expatinscotland · 30/12/2009 22:14

i think YABU.

stick with the devil you know, especially if you are in an area with good schools.

Matchingcardiganandtop · 30/12/2009 22:16

I don't think YABU but I do think you seem to be in a very fotunate position. Until recently I would have loved to have been able to live in London.

We sold our house last year and are saving to buy another. I went through a phase of being obsessed about buying again. Now that I live somewhere that I love and thatis secure it does not really bother me.

mrspnut · 30/12/2009 22:18

I think YANBU but we sold our rabbit hutch of a property in N16 for much more than we'd paid for it and consequently we managed to buy outright in Harrogate (N Yorks)

Looking back now, I don't know how we managed with so little space but we did for a few years.

MaggieMnaSneachta · 30/12/2009 22:24

it's a strong craving, that longing to have your own home and fix it up how you want.

tbh, i am feeling it much stronger than i ever felt 'broodiness'. i love my children obviously, maybe i had them before broody kicked in, but right now i am broody for my OWN HOME... it hurts it hurts it hurts.

reading posts like mrspnut is like turning up with triplets to the house of a wman who can't have kids. to ME. that is what it is like. i am surrounded by people who own their own lovely homes, and most of them botuhg them before prices went mad. so they're ok.

it's hard.

expatinscotland · 30/12/2009 22:27

but an HA home you can actually paint and decorate. it's yours for all intents and purposes.

maristella · 30/12/2009 22:27

yanbu - i am so obsessed with my pipe dream of buying a house. i check house prices far too often for someone who will not be in a position to buy for several years. just think in a few years time when your dc is at school you will not be paying so much for childcare etc, things may be different for you financially. you are in a really strong position working for govt and living in a property that you love and may be able to buy one day.

Matchingcardiganandtop · 30/12/2009 22:29

I can paint and decorate in my rented home, we are doing a veg plot in the back and treat it as our own.

I only worry about affording retirement if we dont get back on the property ladder.

Sheet · 30/12/2009 22:29

Could you afford a really short lease? Say 15 or 20 years? Sufficient to see your children through school?

Where in London?

Matchingcardiganandtop · 30/12/2009 22:31

I am quite fascinated by where you can live in central London with good schools on one full time and one part time public sector wage.

narmada · 30/12/2009 22:33

I am with you, completely and utterly. Also obsessed with rightmove; in fact, we are seriously thinking about moving to another european country where rents/ real estate is more sensibly priced, and where we could actually afford somewhere with enough space to store all that brightly coloured plastic that comes along with our lovely DCs

mrspnut · 30/12/2009 22:34

It sounds great to you but we lived in a tiny 2 bed flat, nice when you are a couple but we had a 6 year old too.

We had a sitting room that was freezing, 2 small bedrooms, a kitchen that was too small for 2 people and a bathroom where you could sit on the toilet and wash your hands at the same time.

It really was awful and it nearly split OH and I up because of the lack of space and privacy.

We wouldn't have been able to afford much bigger within commuting distance of London either, so we moved a lot further away.

annabelcaramel · 30/12/2009 22:34

I am quite quite fascinated by what you think of public sector wages - these days tis often far far better than private!!!

Matchingcardiganandtop · 30/12/2009 22:36

I am public sector worker who used to live in London and had to leave because I could not afford to put a roof over our head. We tried repeatedly to move back and could not afford to, hence my fascination.

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havoc · 30/12/2009 22:39

I don't think YABU for wanting to own a house, but how many of us could afford a house in central London?

You seem to have a lovely quailty of life now - owning in the commuter belt might not be as peachy as you think.

annabelcaramel · 30/12/2009 22:41

Hmm, fair enough. I think the very top level salaries are the biggies, lower down it probably is worse than private. I've never lived in London, DH did for 20 yrs but is now more anti than me.

santasmagicnappysack · 30/12/2009 22:42

We are extremely fortunate. That's my point - why isn't it enough for me? MaggieMnaSneachta - it is just like being broody, you're right.

Yes with HA secured tenancey I do treat it as my own. We have tiled the bathroom and toilet, put wood flooring down and even put a new kitchen in. However there is always this nagging feeling that it is not really ours.

MaggieMnaSneachta - it is a wonderful location, it is only because it is HA that we can afford it.

My family don't help - they mostly have lived in council properties also in central london their whole lives. Whenever I do any DIY my nan says "what's the point? It's not yours." If I mention the places I've seen on the market that we could aspire to own my mum says things like "oh but the houses are TINY round there" or "but it's a terrible area, all council estates" - of course they're tiny and in mixed areas, otherwise we coudldn't afford them!

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