To be at a bit of a loss as to how you recover a relationship after a humdinger of an argument......

[mistletoekisses]

Summary

My mother and I are extremely close. Very rarely have crossed words and she is simply a wonderful lady. As with anyone however, there are always personality clashes/ arguments - but for many years have been nothing major.

Yesterday/ today - we have had what I would class as a major falling out. Obviously no one side is guilt free, it takes two to contribute. And there was no screaming / arguing etc. But I feel as though she has let me down on something very important at the worse time possible...and I have let her know that - in a calm way etc. Obviously we are both upset.

IABU to be at a loss as to how we are going to put this behind us and move on?

[Heqet]

Apologise.

If she's a wonderful lady and you love her, just say that you are so sorry that you had an argument and that you love her.

You can always talk calmly about the circumstances that led to the argument at a later date.

Everybody argues with loved ones. It doesn't have to be the end of all things. It's easy to move on - you just do!!! You say your piece, they say theirs and you get over it!

I think it's lovely that you have such a good relationship that you have not had a real row before! It's really nice.

[OrmIrian]

I agree. Say sorry. You don't even need to apologise for the disagreement - you can't do that if you feel she was wrong - but apologise for the argument you had. She may well feel prompted to apologise in return.

Otherwise it will fester. And that would be a shame,.

[GracieW]

Leave it for 24 hours then act as if nothing happened - in time it'll be mentioned but by then you'll have both calmed down.

Sounds like you handled it pretty well btw.

[mistletoekisses]

Thank you all for the advice.

I will apologise for hurting her feelings, absolutely. I guess that I along with the falling out, there was initially an issue of trust. Because I am shocked that she has let me down, even if she doesnt quite see it.

But then I guess I would be extremely unreasonable to let one episode influence the future relationship.

It is horrible tho! I think there will be some initial awkwardness, but hopefully we will move past it quickly.

[ijustwanttoaskaquestion]

dont apologise!!!

The reason i say this is because by apologising you are dredging it up. Find an excuse to ring her about something, ask her advice - anything. If you apologise for something you feel strongly about, she is going to know you don't mean it. Best just let it pass.