To expect Father Christmas to have a decent beard?

(26 Posts)
darcymum Tue 08-Dec-09 09:10:18

Why oh why do they all have such rubbish fake beards? I don't expect them to all grow real ones. Just get one that looks like it could possibly be real if you got a glimpse at the right angle on a dark night.

JemL Tue 08-Dec-09 09:15:34

We went to see Father Christmas at the Church Christmas Fair last week and to accompany his dodgy beard, he had eyebrows that were basically two oblongs of cut out white paper!

How he stuck them on, I don't know!

darcymum Tue 08-Dec-09 09:18:57

Anyone know of a Father Christmas in the south west who doesn't have a beard made out of cotton wool.

TheDevilWearsPrimark Tue 08-Dec-09 09:23:56

My DS can only handle santas with fake beards.

He was absolutely terrified of the Harrods Santa.

MmeLindt Tue 08-Dec-09 09:33:50

We went to the International School's Christmas fair and their Santa obviously found if difficult to get a pair of black boots.

DD asked why Santa had black bin bags on his feet.

Honestly, he would have been better wearing trainers.

darcymum Tue 08-Dec-09 09:42:32

Does the Harrods Santa have a good bread then?

darcymum Tue 08-Dec-09 09:43:11

I did mean beard you know

Hassled Tue 08-Dec-09 09:45:11

YANBU. And they can't be thin either. Once we had Gaunt Santa at the local department store - wasn't good. He looked like he needed some reindeer steak or something.

ConnorTraceptive Tue 08-Dec-09 09:47:22

Our local shopping centre has a VERY skinny Santa. I refused to take DS on this basis and the fact the elf was texting his mates hmm

My DH has a perfect beard and quite long curly hair.
I've asked him to spray them white and do the preschool father christmas turn but will he? Will he heck...

TheDevilWearsPrimark Tue 08-Dec-09 09:51:39

Oh yes he's actually fat and old with a big whte real beard.

motherbeyond Tue 08-Dec-09 10:01:08

i'm in the north west quite near liverpool.i took the dc's on sat to a posh garden centre.paid £14 for them to go in.dd 3,stood at the entrance way,then refused to go in.santa said bum all to encourage her.
ds 22 months stepped through the entrace into the grotto,but then froze and stared at santa agog..seeing as santa was once again,failing to entice him in with any "ho ho ho,now then young man etc" i attempted some gentle coaxing

"ohhhh,loooook!it's father chrismas!(theatrical gasps)don't you want to go and see father chrismas,sweetheart?"

ds; "no...'cared (scared)want go"

santa; (in broad scouse accent) "don't blame ye mate.see yez "hmm

yeah,thanks for that santa...you complete fuckwit!

canella Tue 08-Dec-09 10:02:47

you should just organise your kids a cyber message from a proper santa with the most amazing beard!

go to cyber santa and put in some details and a photo then santa gives them the best message! its the cleverest thing i've seen for a while!

my 5 year old ds was answering his questions - he was amazed that santa was talking to him!

TheDevilWearsPrimark Tue 08-Dec-09 10:27:49

Ooh that looks great! Does he have an american accent though?

canella Tue 08-Dec-09 10:42:14

no - he's perfectly british!! he says their name a few times throughout which makes them so amazed!! you can do it for adults too - dh and i need to get out more - we had too much fun sending friends santa messages last night!

canella Tue 08-Dec-09 10:45:10

This is my ds2's video - too good!

my ds's message

Geocentric Tue 08-Dec-09 10:46:28

There's a man who lives next to the DCs school who does Santa gigs at Christmas time, he's the works with round belly and big white beard. We sometimes see him pottering around in his front garden.

When the DCs were smaller I used to tell them how all year round he lived there and tended his garden and then moved to the North Pole in December; they loved it and we would spend all year doing "Santa sightings". Then DH went and spoilt it by telling them he was just some random old man. Huh.

We took our 3 dcs to see santa at a world famous london department store last Friday night. We booked in August!

And b**y Santa spent the entire time talking about footie results (ds2 was wearing a football strip) and how many people had booked to see him and how far they had travelled.

Ffs is it too much to expect them to preserve the magic? I was reduced to same tactics as motherbeyond 'well Santa, I'm glad to say they've been good this year''well Santa maybe you'd like to hear what they would like for christmas' etc.

If I wasn't busier than a jar of flies I would be Writing A Letter to Mr F the owner.

Sorry my asterixes (asterices?) all got messed up. Trying to say avoid saying a bad word - should just have said it!

NaccetyMac Tue 08-Dec-09 11:26:02

We saw Santa in a department store in Edinburgh. Except I think itwas actually Mr. Bean. He was scared of the kids. They eyed each other with mutual distrust, then he waved a hand at a sack on the floor and muttered "boys toys are in there help yourself." Not Cool.

TheDevilWearsPrimark Tue 08-Dec-09 11:33:14

The shopping centre near my friends house has the funniest santa ever.

It's basically the area that is usually filled with 50p rides but they move them then put up a shed with cotton wool on it. There is on elve who takes your fiver for a crappy santa and a gift of a flimsy carboard jigsaw and a chupa chup (every year)

Same elve comes in to ask if you want a photo taken on little digital camera and they will post within a week.

It's so bad we go almost every year.

nymphadora Fri 11-Dec-09 13:12:44

Santa was obviously undergoing a sex change here

Chica31 Fri 11-Dec-09 13:27:31

My DH is going to be Santa at school next week. No other man will do it. He is very skinny so we are padding him out loads. Hopefully not too many kids will recognize him, he is only going to playgroup, foundation stage and keystage 1. He teaches year 6 and it is a very very big school.

nannynobnobs Fri 11-Dec-09 19:56:24

I have only seen one decent Santa round these parts; he had a real reindeer, his outfit was all rustic and crimson/gold and he had a proper real beard! They are usually shit, cheap red outfit, fake black boot covers (who can't at least borrow a pair of black boots?!) cheap fake beard, not even fake white hair just their regular dark hair and eyebrows visible. Usually a skinny youngish guy too. No WAY would even my dd2 (3) be fooled, so we don't go.

oldraver Fri 11-Dec-09 20:03:16

We went to a garden centre and the Santa did have a lovely real white beard, the walk through grotto was nice and you went into what looked like Santas sitting room. The children sat on bean bags and the adults at the back. Santa then told a convulated story about how he had been in the area in the summer, had crashed his sleigh into White Horse Hill, damaged it and the staff at the garden centre had helped him repair it. Hence his return to said gardedn centre. There were a few corny jokes and the usual can you leave me a drink on Christmas Eve, and asked the children for ideas. They came up with ....milk, water and lemonade hmm. Santa rejected these wink

I just wish the children had had a bit of one to one time to go through the 'yes I've been good Santa, I would like' business

MrsChemist Fri 11-Dec-09 20:34:32

Santa called me a fat chubby when I was a baby. My parents got it on video.
22 years later it still isn't funny.

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