There's a starfish in our garden this morning...

(72 Posts)
Ronaldinhio Sun 06-Dec-09 08:11:48

AIBU to wonder if it might be the end of the world?

FourArms Sun 06-Dec-09 08:16:54

LOL! A real one?

BouncingTurtle Sun 06-Dec-09 08:18:57

That depends... how far do you live from the coast?

Ronaldinhio Sun 06-Dec-09 08:23:16

Yes a real one
I live about 100yds from the sea but it's in our backgarden
I am not spongebob squarepants!!

ShutUpandDrinkYourMulledWine Sun 06-Dec-09 08:25:14

maybe a bird dropped it?

ShutUpandDrinkYourMulledWine Sun 06-Dec-09 08:25:32

is it alice?

ShutUpandDrinkYourMulledWine Sun 06-Dec-09 08:25:45

good grief


Ronaldinhio Sun 06-Dec-09 08:28:06

lol at "alice" as I wondered who the hell you meant

It is soft but how do I tell if it is alive? Hold a mirror over it to check for breathing?

ShutUpandDrinkYourMulledWine Sun 06-Dec-09 08:35:07


gawd what if you have to resuscitate?

HeiligFeierabend Sun 06-Dec-09 08:38:09

Put it in some salty water and see if it moves?

ItsAllaBitNoisy Sun 06-Dec-09 08:38:25

Show it a spatula and see if it makes any movement.

Or waft a crabby patty under its nose.

/Do they have noses?

Ronaldinhio Sun 06-Dec-09 08:50:07

My first thought was should we put it in water
Dh says "what, are we going to rehome it?" he then said (honestly)
"what if it's an alien?"

much slapping around the head....

It's just lying in the garden

HeiligFeierabend Sun 06-Dec-09 08:55:13

Well if it's an alien, you'll be in the Daily Mail tomorrow grin

Ronaldinhio Sun 06-Dec-09 09:00:10

what does one wear for a Daily Mail "scoop"?

"Mumsnetter cruelly keeps starfish alien in garden" shocker
wonder what biscuit it likes?

ImSoNotTelling Sun 06-Dec-09 09:01:14

Go and put it on the beach near the sea?

<sorry for being boring>

I don't think plagues of starfish are one of the biblical warnings of the forthcoming apocalypse, but you can never be too careful...

Don't put it in water - unless you get the saltiness right it'll probably explode or shrivel up or something equally yucky - take it to the beach. You might try giving it a speech about how we are very welcoming to aliens in general, just to be on the safe side.

Ronaldinhio Sun 06-Dec-09 09:06:12

we're going to do that this morning, as a family, alien worrier and all.

bramblebooks Sun 06-Dec-09 09:14:44

just to reiterate, don't put it in tap water as it'll go white and die. blush. You may then be responsible for killing the emperor of an alien race and will trigger the apocalypse.

Ronaldinhio Sun 06-Dec-09 09:18:45

how do you know so much about aliensstarfish

cornsilklikeshumous Sun 06-Dec-09 09:20:18

Take a picture. You must save it poor thing. It's probably trying to find shell city.

Ronaldinhio Sun 06-Dec-09 09:27:04

cornsilk is that your Christmas name??

semi Sun 06-Dec-09 09:27:18

I hope you managed to do something with this. I read this thread and it made me smile...becuase it was such a bizarre and yet wonderful thing. I'd try to save it - but wouldn't really know what to do apart.from drive it back to the sea I've googled 'how to rescue a starfish' but it comes up with pet dog not really v useful. There must be an answer out there....
Once you've done that, I don't know how old your kids are but capturing this story - drawing, writing about it I think would be a lovely idea...there imaginations will go into overdrive...mine already has...would love to hear the outcome

Ronaldinhio Sun 06-Dec-09 09:35:44

semi from your answer I can tell you are a better mother than I am already

the girls are sitting at the table eating sausages and pancakes
I'm drinking coffee
the alien whisperer is getting ready and then we are off to put the starfish back on the beach

what should we carry it in?

ItsAllaBitNoisy Sun 06-Dec-09 09:41:27

A star shaped container. Natch.

ItsAllaBitNoisy Sun 06-Dec-09 09:43:05

If it's dead it would make an interesting tree top decoration..

ShutUpandDrinkYourMulledWine Sun 06-Dec-09 09:51:50

oh what an amazing idea Itsall - at one with nature and gifts from the sea and all that

might be a bit whiffy by christmas day though

Ronaldinhio Sun 06-Dec-09 10:09:12

one of it's points is a bit white the rest of him is orange

there is another one further down the garden

wtf is going on?

sure it isn't from the children next door's fish tank thingy

do they have starfish on Brighton beach?

dog is also frightened

JackTheHallsWithBauersOfHolly Sun 06-Dec-09 10:16:20

Was it very windy and high water last ngiht?
My mum used to get crabs (in her garden, natch) and seaweed when she lived 50m back from beach, and there was a row of houses in between, so a starfish not to muc of a stretch.

If it's going white you haven't got much time though.....stick it in a plastic bag, fuck it, declare loudly that it is a 'special' bag just in case it's an alien, but what would it know about tesco vs kwiksave?!grin

Ronaldinhio Sun 06-Dec-09 10:24:47

husband and children are off to the beach with the aliens starfish

i grew up in the country with none of these schnannigans
crabs, seaweed...what next an octopus?

blardy seaside

JackTheHallsWithBauersOfHolly Sun 06-Dec-09 10:42:12

Yes, It goes tadpoles, starfish, octopus, beached whale, kraken.

<<slightly in awe of semi's parenting skills>>

CaptainUnderpants Sun 06-Dec-09 10:45:10

this had made me laugh.

Can you upload a picture of it in your garden ?


CaptainUnderpants Sun 06-Dec-09 10:46:26

oh sorry too late already on its way back to --Mother Ship-- beach .

CaptainUnderpants Sun 06-Dec-09 10:47:09

oh sod it hypens dont work !!

JackTheHallsWithBauersOfHolly Sun 06-Dec-09 10:49:40

Sorry, and the other route is
seaweed, crabs, fish, dolphins, fishing trawler.

ThumbleBells Sun 06-Dec-09 10:51:24

you have to do each word separately, Cap'nUnderpants.

Ronaldinhio, am pmsl at this - hope there isn't a dead seagull somewhere further down your garden, who dropped the starfish midflight! And if you should get any more, of course the correct container in which to transport them is a seaside bucket!grin

MaryMotherOfCheeses Sun 06-Dec-09 10:52:53

Have you poked it? Does it move?

do they move anyway??

how weird and sweet this is all is

did you shout patrick really loudly in its ear??
might have got it talking

or dress like spongebob and offer it a jellyfishing net?

Ronaldinhio Sun 06-Dec-09 10:59:28

the girls and husband released them into the sea

dd1 says that the starfish said

"Thank you cousin dd1'sname" when they put it in the sea

I asked what the other one said and she said


juneybean Sun 06-Dec-09 11:34:18

"did you shout patrick really loudly in its ear??"


This thread is hilarious lol

this has given me a very good laugh on a sunday morning after a bad night being poorly!!

Thanks!! grin

RustyBear Sun 06-Dec-09 11:55:16

"If it's going white you haven't got much time though.....stick it in a plastic bag, fuck it, declare loudly that it is a 'special' bag just in case it's an alien,"

JackBaueretc - is that 'fuck it' just an expletive, or your normal procedure when repatriating aliens starfish....?

cornsilklikeshumous Sun 06-Dec-09 11:58:08

Ron no not my xmas name. Tis my saturday evening wine and nibbles name. Haven't thought of a xmas name yet. You could be something to do with a robin...hmm

Ronaldinhio Sun 06-Dec-09 12:37:43

good point Rusty

my dh has just come to me and siad in all seriousness

"I don't mean to alarm you but the starfish are back in the garden"

like a fool I went to look....blushgrin

noddyholder Sun 06-Dec-09 12:44:26

I think you should be RonaldTheRedNosedInho!

JackTheHallsWithBauersOfHolly Sun 06-Dec-09 14:10:35

I didn;t mean fuck it fuck it, I meant, fuck it as in don't bother.


I do not abuse sea creatures or aliens.

tethersend Sun 06-Dec-09 14:27:53

As long as it's not a chocolate one, should be fine.

JackTheHallsWithBauersOfHolly Sun 06-Dec-09 14:31:22


LauraIngallsWilder Sun 06-Dec-09 14:33:04

This thread is funny

I want to know HOW it got there

freak wave perhaps?

Or maybe starfish can fly?

The nation needs to know - because if it cant be explained it must have been a UFO

ShutUpandDrinkYourMulledWine Sun 06-Dec-09 14:52:27

what if there are more tomorrow? slightly closer to the house??

I would lock doors and windows tightly tonight

nion64 Sun 06-Dec-09 15:15:19

They might be your back garden, tomorrow the world!!! (or the back garden after yours who knows they are an unknown in world domination...)

BitOfFun Sun 06-Dec-09 15:27:18

We found a starfish in the car last year. I am assuming the dog put it there after a walk on the beach (ie the dog had been out for a walk, not that the dog was escorting the starfish down the promenade or anything). But now I'm not so sure. It might have been the start of something very weird.

bramblebooks Mon 07-Dec-09 09:32:43

Have they returned? Is the house totally plastered to them to the extent you can't get the door open?

They would make fab Christmas decorations - instead of sticking paper snowflakes to the window, you could just squidge them by the suckers. You wouldn't have to worry about taking them down on 12th night, because by then they'd either have peeled off, been eaten by seagulls, rotted or beamed back up to the mother ship.

Deadworm Mon 07-Dec-09 09:41:53

This is a wonderful thread. The suggestion of shouting patrick very loudly in the starfish's ear is easily the best piece of advice I have ever read on Mumsnet.

rumpleteaser Mon 07-Dec-09 13:08:32

I used to live right near Brighton beach, once it was so windy all the pebbles blew up onto the pavement.
I think there is starfish there too.
Has it been windy?
If there was only 2 starfish though, I'd be more inclined to think it was some kind of starfish love story, like Romeo and Juliet.
Ahhhhh.. poor things.

iheartdusty Mon 07-Dec-09 13:23:07

yes..they tried to break away..they just wanted to be free, free to love each other... but they were cast back, thrown back to their eternal torment..etc.

RustyBear Mon 07-Dec-09 15:48:50

'Rain of toads' is apocalypse stuff, 'rain of starfish' sounds a bit too cute to be apocalyptical.....

SerenityNowAKABleh Mon 07-Dec-09 16:10:22

If they do come back you could always spray paint them silver, cover them with glitter and use them as xmas decorations. That'll teach 'em.

Deadworm Mon 07-Dec-09 16:33:32

The beach closest to where I live in the north east had a plague of starfish one time that we were there. Hundreds and hundreds of them all over the rocks and the sand. No idea why, but being only 13 miles from the sea we locked our garden gate tight that night just to be sure.

why patrick? i have to know
they'll be back...and bigger

Oy. Wimmin of the world. Is this aibu? Well I ANBU.
I was taking my girl on our holidays. We'd had a fantastic day soaking up the rays at our resort and I was planning a good night, if you know what I mean. I'd mainly tanned, apart from one of me toes, which had got in the shade and was still all white.
I paid extra and we'd travelled by albatross rather than gull air, torpedoed right into our resort we were.

Well, then I was unceremoniously removed from my luxury suite and removed back to the salt - not my bit of beach either, but the bit up next to the palace pier where all the chavs and goths go at night.

I'm not happy. Never got to get one of my ends away.

I've contacted control and they're on their way to sort it aht.

ROFL, PMSL @ Alice! Funny thread!

and JackBauer. You haven't phoned, you haven't sent flowers, you haven't texted. What's a guy to do? Man alive, as if the plastic bag wasn't bad enough mate ... Thank the spiny Lord that starfish stretch.

bramblebooks Tue 08-Dec-09 19:28:20

Have they come back yet?

Are you still there?

bramblebooks Tue 08-Dec-09 19:36:27

Oh Holy Carp! It's happening, it IS the end of the world ... here

TinselinaBumsquash Tue 08-Dec-09 19:38:09

Watch out if you get them again, Cats will travel miles for a Starfish (to eat it, not as a test of love or anything) but they are fatally poisonous to Cats.

Its a bit creepy that 2 ended up in your garden at the same time......

OMG. It's like Day of the Triffids. But with sea food.

<Still sniggering at Jack fucking the starfish. In a carrier. Classy>

LightShinesInTheDarkness Tue 08-Dec-09 20:07:18

How lucky are you to live 100 yards from the sea?!!

SomeGuy Wed 09-Dec-09 04:11:45

Is it a chocolate starfish?

tamm26 Wed 09-Dec-09 05:07:28

hey ..i had a starfish in my garden last week too !!! i live bout 50 yards from the sea .. i did rekon it was birds or a dog ran up here with it ....mine was a bit broken but as we were convinced they can grow back from even one leg we walked it back to the sea...

mumhadenough Fri 11-Dec-09 17:27:11

This must become a mumsnet classic surely! roflmao. Brilliant thread!

All those poor poor starfish on the beach though sad

Monty100 Fri 11-Dec-09 17:51:17

Ronald how do you know it was a boy? shock.

If it didn't answer to Patrick, you could have shouted Patricia?

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