I have been thinking about this for a couple of days now and I genuinely do not know whether I am an ungrateful precious petal or a grown woman with a right to a bit of autonomy:
I am still spitting bile after a phone call with my mother a couple of nights ago. My parents and all my family live abroad but visit regularly. We invited my parents to come to our house for Christmas and after much humming and hawing (the cost, the stress, the noise of grandsons x3 )they are coming on the 17th.
So on the phone, my mum asks me to ask my DH what he would like her to make for Christmas Day Dinner!
I find this very irritating on many levels, I do not really know where to start:
the fact that she is my guest and will jolly well eat whatever I put in front of her
or
that DH's preference is obviously more important than anybody else's
or
that it is my job to panic worry about Christmas Dinner in my house, not hers
or
that I want (and make no mistake, will get) a nice relaxing Christmas time where good food and drink will feature highly but will NOT be a source of stress and hassle (M+S Foodhall, here I come )
When my parents are here they are always a brilliant help which I welcome: they are an extra pair of hands, do a lot of the childcare during their stay (their choice, childminder is available as when they are not here), do some of the day to day shopping and my mum cooks a lot which I really enjoy.
I work 4 days a week in a demanding professional job, DSs are 6, 5 and 20 months. I am expecting No4.
My mum has always needed to be needed or at least that is my pop psychology explanation. My parents are shocked that I still work (my mum was SAHM from when I was born). I honestly often wonder why they encouraged and paid for a long and expensive qualification for me.
But surely if you are invited for Christmas it is not your job to organise/plan Christmas dinner? Help chop the vegetables, by all means. Lay the table. Keep the kids happy whilst dinner gets prepared. All that.
But decide what is going to be served??
Please give me your thoughts: ungrateful or justifiably feeling that my territory is being invaded?
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AIBU?
AIBU to resent my mum's attempt to hijack Christmas Dinner?
49 replies
PacificDogwood · 30/11/2009 21:16
OP posts:
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