To not be able to stop my dc from jumping on the bed?

(50 Posts)
monkeymaman Mon 23-Nov-09 20:20:17

One just fell off and bumped his head. I just phoned my GP and he said to stop them jumping on the bed but they won't stop!

elliott Mon 23-Nov-09 20:23:11 remove them from the bed? Or from the bedroom if necessary?? Repeatedly until they understand you mean it?
Do you really need someone to tell you how to do this??

monkeymaman Mon 23-Nov-09 20:25:35

Oh great. Now one of the others has fallen off and bumped his head too!

Off I go to phone NHS Direct....

tibni Mon 23-Nov-09 20:25:54

YANBU. You need the doctor with his bag and his hat, who knocks on the door with a rat - a - tat tat. He is good at getting dc to bed, he drugs them with his special Pill, but it is so worth the bill!

lovechoc Mon 23-Nov-09 20:26:01

keep a close eye on the one that bumped his head, sure he'll be ok though. Just ignore their behaviour, they are obviously doing it for attention.

bit harsh elliott sometimes it can be stressful being a parent and we ask questions when we are panicked in a situation.

MisterAlestorm Mon 23-Nov-09 20:31:14

Is this really an appropriate use of NHS resources?!

You should keep your children under control!

The medical services are under a lot of pressure at the moment! I heard of a GP in Gloucestershire that was recently caught in the floods and he stepped in a puddle and it was waist deep!

With these kids of circumstances occurring across the country right now, you really shouldn't be bothering the medical professionals!

For shame!angry

paisleyleaf Mon 23-Nov-09 20:32:19

'No more monkeys jumping on the bed'

monkeymaman Mon 23-Nov-09 20:32:51

Why are you all being so horrible to me? I just asked a question. MN is full of horrible biatches.

monkeymaman Mon 23-Nov-09 20:33:23

What do you mean paisley?

I've already told them to stop!

E45 Mon 23-Nov-09 20:34:26

You are the parent, you say NO they obey. Easy. Otherwise you will be on here in 14 years time asking how you can post bail for your juvenile scumbag delinquent.

All the time moaning that your darling, is much misunderstood.

monkeymaman Mon 23-Nov-09 20:35:49

Oh ffs - now the other one has fallen off too!

Do you think I should phone the dr again? <<worried>>

Are you joking?

StarExpat Mon 23-Nov-09 20:38:02

paisley grin
Are there 5 monkeys on the bed?
Because if so, you should phone the dr after every single one until there are "no more monkeys jumping on the bed"

Oh, this is your first post. Welcome to Mumsnet, yes we're all bitches. Now fuck off and control your children, there's a love.

paisleyleaf Mon 23-Nov-09 20:38:18

Try waggling your finger at them when you say "no more monkeys jumping on the bed"
Otherwise the GP will tell you to put them straight to bed.

StarExpat Mon 23-Nov-09 20:39:14

Even if she is serious, She is obviously following the popular rhyme. I'm so amused! Because my 13 month old loves this song. grin

monkeymaman Mon 23-Nov-09 20:39:47

No, there are 3. hmm

How do you mean, finger waggling?

halfcut Mon 23-Nov-09 20:40:12

The dr will come with his bag and his hat.....

uberalice Mon 23-Nov-09 20:41:19

Have you been hanging your green bottles precariously on the wall again?

monkeymaman Mon 23-Nov-09 20:42:00

Do you think he/shell will halfcut?

I don't think our surgery do home visits anymore....

RTKangaMummy Mon 23-Nov-09 20:42:20


SebbysMum Mon 23-Nov-09 20:43:45

re the head injury: I've heard vinegar and brown paper works well

Embarrassed at nursery rhyme knowledge, won't you have some gin instead? [passes bottle]

Weegle Mon 23-Nov-09 20:48:54

See if you can get hold of Miss Polly's doctor - he seemed much more willing with a sense of urgency...

monkeymaman Mon 23-Nov-09 20:53:30


Stop being so silly, I've been lurking on MN for ages, it seemed like a really nice place, and then tonight I really needed help and you're all taking the piss. sad

The dr won't come out, he just told me to stop them jumping on the bed! What the f do we pay our taxes for, I ask you!

pagwatch Mon 23-Nov-09 20:54:32

It all went to crap when the NHS startedthis out of hours crap.
If you catch your GP during the day its fine. He will just sit them down and tell them to damn well stop it. He rarely even seemed to mind that they are actually primates.
But call in the evening when the Friend of Miss Molly is unwell and they rat a tat tat on the door, all dressed up and accessorised with a huge air of self importance. And the speed with which they whip out the bill is unbelievable.

And fucking Doctor Foster never seems to get here when its raining

Fleecy Mon 23-Nov-09 20:57:53

Gah - now I have the song in my head and it's in Judy from the Tweenies voice...

monkeymaman Mon 23-Nov-09 20:58:38

What song? What are you talking about?!

catastrojb Mon 23-Nov-09 21:02:26

the doctor may well tell them to stop jumping on the bed, but they'll only jump on the sofa instead....naughty monkeys! grin

Sidge Mon 23-Nov-09 21:05:05

Fry some sausages in a pan - the pop and the bang may well scare them into stopping.

MrsDucky Mon 23-Nov-09 21:05:35

Yanbu, my dc went swimming today and when it was time to come home only four of them bothered, and one of them is missing angry

snala Mon 23-Nov-09 21:06:15

Have you tried Dr Brown Bear? wink

monkeymaman Mon 23-Nov-09 21:06:54

MrsD, thank you! Finally someone who understands me!

giraffesCannaeFlingPieces Mon 23-Nov-09 21:14:58

grin I got it after the first message

MrsDucky Mon 23-Nov-09 21:15:03

I know, i mean what am i supposed to do, go with them?! angry

Fleecy Mon 23-Nov-09 21:16:59

MrsD, if you take them again another few times, you might find you 'lose' one more each time. The last time, go on your own and I'm fairly certain they'll all come back. HTH

monkeymaman Mon 23-Nov-09 21:17:29

Did they go over the hills and far away?

You have my every sympathy. It's not easy being the mother of spirited dc, and people don't always understand. sad

giraffesCannaeFlingPieces Mon 23-Nov-09 21:17:31

MrsDucky have you tried calling on your dc? Perhaps shout "quack quack quack" while wiggling your arse tail?

StarExpat Tue 24-Nov-09 15:26:47

ROFL. I love all of these nursery rhymes. As a primary teacher and mother of a young toddler, it's quite central to my world grin MrsDucky I hope you found your ducks.
I was so surprised that people actually responded seriously to this at first grin what good sports!

deaddei Tue 24-Nov-09 15:34:08

I hope none of you are sucking your thumb, or the SCissorMan will come and snip them off like poor little Suckathumb.
Now that would be a challenge for NHS Direct.

BouncingTurtle Tue 24-Nov-09 15:49:58

Well can someone do something about my DS?

He keeps insisting on wearing his trousers to bed. And one of his shoes as well angry

Can anyone one help to get John undressed for bed?

bronze Tue 24-Nov-09 16:02:11

Bouncing turtle is it your ds who got the cat out of the well? give him a break

purepurple Tue 24-Nov-09 16:08:03

OP, are you sure NHS direct didn't send a doctor round?
I've heard DR Foster is on his way. But I hope you don't live anywhere near Gloucester, not with all the rain we keep having.

TAFKAtheUrbanDryad Wed 25-Nov-09 18:31:50

BT I Thought your ds was called Tim and you had issues with him drinking all the bathwater and eating all the soap?

OP I do feel for you my two don't seem to have any sense of risk at all either.

Only last week they climbed a small mountain, carrying a bucket, ostensibly to buy Evian, and only went and fell all the way down.

DS had to have several stitches in his head (but the doctor didn't have any so just stuck some paper from some chips on his head, it reeked of vinegar) and DD has major contusions after landing on top of DS at the bottom of the hill hmm

Kids eh?!

BellaBear Fri 27-Nov-09 21:41:33

you lot are lucky. My DS keeps running up to rabbits having a bit of rest and singing at them until they start hopping about.

What am I going to do about it? It gets us all sorts of funny looks.

nevergoogledragonbutter Sat 28-Nov-09 08:56:01

I just read this on the round up and have to say that MrsDucky made me proper LMAO.
Brilliant. Bravo!

BonzoDoodah Sun 29-Nov-09 15:28:43

While we have some like-minded mums here I was wondering if you could help me ...

I'm making a cake for me and my baby but I'm not sure how to decorate it ... any clues? I asked my friend Simon but he was only interested if there were pies involved.

BrokenArm Sun 29-Nov-09 19:36:39

Oh, I'm so glad I found this thread -- there's a scarecrow dancing around in my garden shaking his limbs & hat about. SIGH -- He does this every night as soon as the hens roost up and the moon goes behind a cloud. Do you reckon I should ring the Council to sort him out?

Elfytigga Tue 01-Dec-09 08:44:57

We seem to have lost the following in our house:

Toby Thumb
Peter Pointer
Tommy Tall
Ruby Ring
Baby Small

they finally turn up when they are called but it's such a faff calling them everytime they are needed - and you have to call them by name twice! They are most polite when they come back mind.


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