Mumsnet Talk

is the most beautiful colour and those with it shouldn't be bullied or taken the micky out of but praised instead?

My twelve year old daughter has been bullied at school for the colour of her hair, so much so that she wants to dye it. This is breaking my heart as her hair colour is absolutely gorgeous, a golden red, and she should be proud of it. She's so upset by the bullying and she feels alone and "different".

So, come on all you redheads and Mums of redheaded children - don't you think that red hair is simply stunning? I want to show her that you might get unkind comments as a child by the ignorant people (she's been called a "ginger C" amongst other things) but when you grow up you realise how much good attention ginger hair gets you and how pretty it is.

Oh I do feel for her (many comments about ginger pubes <cringe> <cringe> when I was a teenager). I wanted to dye my hair too.

Yes, I do think red hair is beautiful. When I was an older teen though I wanted to dye my hair and didn't because my mum went on and on about it being so lovely and I just wanted a change, so do bear that in mind when she's older.

It shows an incredible lack of imagination to mock people for their hair colour/wearing glasses or whatever other tripe people of low wit come out of. Hard though.

I have spent a fortune at the hairdressers trying to get my daughter's beautiful red hair.

You just can't get it out of a bottle though - sigh.

Actually, the most beautiful person I know is ginger. She is truly stunning IMO.

And she is proud of being ginger, has a ginger boyfriend and they can't wait to have ginger babies together!

My friend dyed her hair red when she was 17 and it came out exactly the same colour as mine (was called Autumn Gold which I quite liked as a description).

How I lol'd (internally) as a couple of years previously we'd not been such good friends and she'd been one of the ginger-mockers.

I have always wanted red hair, and the lovely white skin that goes with it. It runs in my family, but unfortunately I have dark hair and eyes. Elizabeth I was a redhead, and she was cool. I also know a fair few guys who think it's the best hair colour, far better than blonde which is boring, apparently.

Also when people with red hair dye it, it never looks right because they have such distinctive colouring in general.

I agree - cannot understand at all why hair colour should mean someone is bullied! Especially when it's such a lovely colour!

My friend has the most gorgeous red hair, so stunning. One year i remember she wore a white dress to a party and she turned every head in the room.

Unfortunately when she was 21 she dyed it brown and to this day still has it brown, it's such a shame... we all try to talk her to going back to the beautiful red but she won't listen!

Your daughter's a lucky girl!

being ginger is only a good thing when you're an adult, when you're a child it's awful.
i have only allowed my hair to be it's natural red colour during my pregnacy with ds1 after dying it since i was 18.
i love the colour now, but when i was younger i hated it.
my family used to tell me how lovely it was and how people pay hundreds to try and get my colour but it made no difference to me.
i really hope none of my dc inherite my hair colour and if they do, i will allow them to dye it, if they want to.

golden red hair is nice especially if its curly that is soo lovely
anyway its something rare, its a positive to have something different and unique rather than just boring same hair like everyone elses
maybe when she gets a bit older she will really grow to like it

Thanks all. The bitter irony is that when DD was younger I too had a red tint to my hair - mine was reddish/golden blonde and I loved it. Hairdressers would always ask what I put on it... er... shampoo... conditioner?

"No, what do you dye it with?"

"It's not dyed, its natural!"

However over the past few years my hair has gone mousy, which is perhaps due to the cancer treatment I've undergone. I'd kill to have my beautiful reddish colouring back and for DD to see it in it's glory.

Please point out to her how many adult women spend huge amounts of money dying their hair red because red-haired women are seen as so gorgeous. My friend has flaming ginger hair and when she was being teased in her teens, her Mum bought her a book about the Pre-Raphaelites to show her how ginger-haired women were seen as the ultimate in female beauty and she says that it really helped her feel proud of her mane. Perhaps you could help by finding pics of celebrities with ginger hair or ones who dye theirs red and show her a library book about art, with plenty of beautiful redheads in it

My Gran is ginger and I've always wanted to have hair like hers (mine's dark brown). You should definitely tell your DD that plenty of women - with great style and taste, like me - would kill to have beautiful hair like hers. Bullies are idiots, especially ones that pick on something as trivial as hair colour.

My youngest has the most beautiful auburn hair- it's really eye-catching. She has no idea how gorgeous she is, because of her learning disabilities, so I guess she'd be oblivious if she was ever criticised for it too. But I doubt she will be- people have only ever commented on how amazing it looks

I think that hair colour doesn't really matter, if it upsets her than let her dye it. We all go gray at some point so it's academic, let her be happy and be what she wants. Would say it's what she wants that matters and how she feels about it.

I'm always dying my hair red (naturally brunette), my icon growing up was Shirley Manson, gorgeous red hair!

My eldest ds has auburn hair and gets called the usual names.

My middle ds doesnt, but is a bit over weight and gets called the usual names.

My youngest ds doesnt, but has special needs and gets called the usual names.

Kids will always find something to tease about.

bullies will always find something, but i hav never understood the ginger thing to be honest, its hair... its a beautiful colour wat is there to mock!! Anyways... Can you do a little 'project' with her... Go through some glossy mags, teen ones etc and show her loads of beautiful red heads full of confidance and show her some famous red haired beauties like julia roberts, cait blanchet, nicole kidman, kate winslet (at times) these r all an older gen i know but im sure there are plenty of teeny boppers too... Uh da girls aloud singer! And ur old pics too of course! Make her proud of who she is before thinkin seriously about dye, itd jus be such a shame to cover that beautiful colour

my cousins dd has the most stunning shiny ginger hair. Her eyes are sparkly blue, and her skin porcelain white. She is so pretty.

But even better, she is kind and fun! She has not experienced any bullying, but she is only 7.

Come to think of it, she probably wont, half their village are red-heads!

I am so sorry your daughter is being bullied. I would imagine she is in her first year at secondary which is when a lot of bullying can kick off. I hope the school is aware of how your daughter is feeling and is supportive. Please don't go it alone, talk to the school and Kidscape etc. If she does dye her hair the bullies will only bully her for changing it. I am a red head and was bullied not for my hair but because I had no boobs! BUllies will always find a reason to bully whatever nonsense it is.

Actually, I've noticed redheads keep their colour a lot longer than everyone else, and if it does finally begin to go it fades to a dimmer colour first then goes white. My aunt is 58 and her hair is still pretty much the same, although a bit darker. My grandmother had auburn hair and never went grey even though she lived to 85. So there.

Thank you all again. I especially like the idea of finding pictures celebreties and Pre-Raphaelites with red hair and will gratefully follow the advice.

And I agree, if its not red hair the bullies find to pick it will sadly be something else.

12 is a tough age for redheads but trust me, in time she will realise she's special.
My DD is almost 25 and celebrates her lovely locks know but did go through some nasty name calling when younger.

Sally x x

My red-haired daughter normally gets compliments for her lovely hair. But one tweedy old lady in Boots last year shouted nastily across the aisle "What a proper little ginger tom!" (odd as DD clearly looks like a girl). I was so shocked and repulsed that I just yelled that she was awful and I never wanted to see her in there again (she fled!). ugh.

It's awful as a child, but as an adult it's brilliant. I have two red haired brothers who now love their red hair. One even dyed his brown when he was about 15. If she really insists on dying it in a couple of years let her (temporary, not permanent) she'ss grow out of it. I've been red from a bottle since I was 17 and I love it.

I have always thought that red hair was absolutely stunning and I am terribly jealous of ginger people.