Mumsnet Talk

As far as I can work out, he and the freakishly small one can barely cope with one customer per day.

Step away from the TV

And the service is soooooo slow. They wait about twenty minutes to get grated carrot and a few raisins.

isn't it the cleanest cafe in town? Or is it the cleanest and the best?!

and although they "wash their hands" small cook walks all over the surfaces in his shoes

YANBU. I hate the little hand movements Big Cook does. I'd be pissed off if I was a Spaceman just home from work and they patronised me by offering me a moon rock.

It's very homoerotic - they are forever "squirting" each other with suspiciously white liquid.

Urgh- I hate them both. The props for showing how small LC so lame. The food is always terrible I can't believe some of the crap they create in these obesity obsessed times. Did you see today's with the "fruit border"? Miles of rice paper, few grapes, bit of kiwi and then biscuits and icing. Yummy, not.

Problem is DS rather likes the show the thankfully hasn't asked me to recreate any of their delights yet.

Big cock little cock?

Whenever they do that cleaning song and dance and the big one does those ridiculous moves, like morris dancing at the beginning and teh ludicrous arms at the end I just want to shout "wanker wanker wanker" at the top of my voice.

Oh joy it's just started.

I don't like the way he flies about on a spoon-WITCHCRAFT!

Victoria you are v funny - are you a namechanger?

i agree about the homo-eroticsm! my dh is always amused by the squirting, i get whispers of "the big one's just jizzed on the wee one again!durty bastards,they bloody love it!" apparantly they were on some 'late night' (ahem) chat show,and they more or less admitted they do that on purpose!

ImSoNotTelling - We call them big cock , little Cock too
The food is terrible.
I am a SAHM so if I go in will they make me some monstrosity that is shaped like a baby or a potty filled with apple juice urine a chocolate poo

Big Cock, Little Cock in this house too.

They spend all their non-customer time playing tennis with kitchen implements, doing rubbish paintings etc. They could be MENU PLANNING and SHOPPING so the first customer doesn't throw them into a frenzy of ingredient-sourcing, chin-rubbing and the like.

Maybe its the ONLY cafe in town!
Luckily its the only beebies programme my DD hates, so don't have to put up with it anymore.
When DS was tiny and I was up feeding him at all times of the night, I often used to see a crappy programme called Crash Test Dummies on at about 2am which was presented by Big Cook and Little Cook. V strange!

soy sauce..yep, got that
star anise...yep
hummus...yep
flour? FLOUR? where on earth are we going to get flour from??

lol- the title made me snort!

What kind of cafe doesn't give you any choice about what you have.

Little cock is just like my BIL

and they never make anything you would actually want...

well you might actually want to boak.

Y'know the one where they make a face out of melted dairy lea triangles and some tomato puree then put pasta hair on <vom>

Tell me about it Stealth, they always have the most exotic ingredients in their cupboard but omg we have no eggs! Quick little cock go find a chicken!!

i actually do enjoy the programme!
and i made their salsa was lovely

Stealth it was not, you must be lying

it was!
when ive made it in the past it's been too 'fresh tasting' (can't explain better sorry)
they cookd it which softened the vegetables and it was v nice
they probably served it with 3 feet of puff pastry and a liquorice lace

And what the fuckity fuck is 'envelope surprise'???

morningtown, pmsl