Mumsnet Discussions - Race issue - Am I being unreasonable?

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Race issue

(42 Posts)

By Thu 05-Nov-09 11:07:31 Add message | Report | Contact poster

Not really a AIBU but need advice on how to deal with this.
We live in a very "white" area and there is only one little girl in DS2s class who is from a Jamaican family.
It would seem (so said the teacher this morning) that yesterday this little girl ask DS2 to pass her a black pencil and DS2 said "you already have a black pencil" at which point the little girl burst in to tears and said DS2 was calling her black!!!!!!

Now the kids are 9 years old, the teacher has said he was party to this and ds2 did not call her black he said "you already have a black pencil" but the school have to deal with the girl being upset... and made a complaint!!

Um I think I may be missing the point but what exactly has DS2 done wrong here?
Despite living in a predominantly white area now I grew up in Brent and Wembley have lots of friends of all races that my children know , do I tell DS2 never to use the word "black" do I ask to speak to the school as I do not think DS2 should be in trouble for this.
I did make sure the teacher had got it right and DS2 had not said anything other then "you have a black pencil".

What do I say to DS2 when I get him from school? How do I address this...
Help

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Fri 06-Nov-09 20:06:14

Poor lad, I meant to say!

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Fri 06-Nov-09 20:05:29

Oh, glad to hear it and sorry for the night you must've had worrying about it. Still think it's better dealt with than ignored (though not sure why it had to take so long!) Hope your DS is ok about it now too.

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Fri 06-Nov-09 19:32:06

All sorted, spoke to teacher today who confirmed it was all a miss understanding and he has spoken to both children and it is all cleared up.

Such a relief.

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Thu 05-Nov-09 22:31:40

Don't know about where Kimi lives. I would have duty to report incidents of bullying, racism, homophobia, sexism etc. We report based on how the victim feels, - so a reported racist incident could turn out to be substantiated or unsubstantiated. Racism is being taken seriously in schools and I hope no-one is saying that is a bad thing. Kimi's son will not be in trouble given what he's said and the teacher's said. It may well turn out the girl was upset at something someone else had said, who knows.

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Thu 05-Nov-09 22:08:56

So - every time a child cries over something when another child is present, do schools have to fill in some kind of incident form?

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Thu 05-Nov-09 21:00:27

All this fuss over a pencil. In the meantime what kind of talk is going on in the playground out of earshot? That could explain why the girl got upset. Tell them no reports need to be made on your son but they could maybe ask the girl if anything has been said by anyone else

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Thu 05-Nov-09 20:53:34

Will speak to school tomorrow and let you know what is said/done.

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Thu 05-Nov-09 20:48:11

What Onagar said.

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Thu 05-Nov-09 20:47:14

If she overheard wrong the teacher could've explained gently and left it at that. A report has been made because she cried putting OP and her son in a defensive position.

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Thu 05-Nov-09 20:45:29

Does "spoken to DS2 about it yesterday" mean 'asked him what happened' or is it a euphemism for "told him to be careful in future what he says"

Hopefully the former.

Really, I would hate to think it had to be recorded somewhere that an accusation had been made. Even if this teacher understands there was no racism the way it's written down could look quite different to someone reading it much later.

"oh well it's not the first time this one has been in trouble for racist remarks" kind of thing.

It seems like madness to me if the teacher knew at the time it was nothing of the sort.

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Race issue