Mumsnet Talk

BF's exH works, earning a fair wage but she chooses not to take any money off him so she can get full benefits, think it is worse that she has only been in UK for 4 years, so has paid nothing into system, although her ex is British. Is it even legal?

Why would your friend's ex pay to maintain her? Why doesn't she get a job? You don't mention any children - do you mean pay maintenance for his kids?

Sorry, yes 4 kids, did mean pay towards the children.

Well, if his name is on the DC's birth certificate the CSA will chase him for money anyway.
Mind you, is your friend's problem due to the fact that the man is abusive or manipulative and therefore it's not entirely safe to take money from him?

CSA will recoup the money from him anyway AFAIK.

If this is for real, Well, of course it's wrong, and I would hope illegal, though frankly the benefits system is such a joke that not a lot would surprise me. Some people just don't get the fact that benefits don't grow on trees - it comes from other people going out and working. Her ex hasn't stopped being a father. They should be supporting their own kids, not expecting any one else to be doing it for them.

Well, what if she gets supported by him and he doesn't pay up? Where does that leave her?

YABU. Very.

How do you KNOW she is choosing not to take any money?

I stopped my CSA claim for a while becuase I wasn't getting anywhere and it was soul destroying.

I reinstated it after a year, my DC get (wait for it) about a fiver a MONTH.

If she's on IS, as SGB says, they will chamse him anyway.

It's really none of your business.

The OP says her friend is CHOOSING to do this.

Perhaps he has a history of non payment and she doesn't want to risk it.

Perhaps he is abusive and she doesn't want to rock the boat.

Perhaps she is trying to save face by saying she's 'choosing' not to, as opposed to he has refused to support them.

Who knows? Her choice though. She is a single Mum to four children. I'd cut her some slack, personally.

Not sure why you are botherd by this OP. It sounds a likely story. If she is entitled to benefits she is entitled if she isn't entitled she won't get them.

If she claims benefits they will chase the ex using the CSA the money will go to the Government in order to help them recoup some of the cost of paying her benefits, it won't go to her.

He is definately not abusive, and would be happy to pay. She would rather he use his money to pay for extras for the children, and reasons if he gave her money it would just lessen her benefit claim so she would be no better off. I have said to her that I think that the CSA might get itself involved, but she has said that she has taken advice and he doesn't have to pay. Just wanted to really clarify if this is the way the system works because it does seem slightly twisted

Mixed feelings here.
On the one hand they are his children and he should pay rather than the burden be placed on Johnny tax payer.
However, perhaps your friend knows he will let her down, bugger her about etc

Since the change last october CSA no longer get involved as standard. You can tell them you dont want them to chase up xp. Or cancel a claim at any time. Your friend will be entitled to £20 a week from her xp before her income support is effected.

YABU benefits are guaranteed (when cock ups don't happen). The ex might decide one day he's not the father or start making other pathetic excuses.