to stick a Farrow and Ball colour chart in the kitchen to help DH make my cups of tea properly?

(83 Posts)
ConFuschias Mon 05-Oct-09 16:00:00

Now ladies, I do enjoy a nice cup of tea. And as we know there is nothing nicer than having a cup of tea made for you - except for when it is made wrong. Bleurgh!

The colour I like my tea (Earl Grey with just a dash of milk) is akin to F&B Cord.

But when DH makes it he drowns it in milk, and it comes to me looking like a F&B House White. (gnats piss emoticon)

I tried to explain to him how to do it properly, with less milk, but he just ended up stewing it and adding so little milk it looked like F&B Dauphin. hmm

o, as my instructions aren't working, I thought I'd stick the F&B colour chart in the kitchen, with Cord clearly circled. But would that be unreasonable?

GentleOtter Mon 05-Oct-09 16:03:18

YANBU and I think this is one of the funniest things I've read on mn for ages. grin


It could be worse. I like a cord coloured cup of tea. I often get something akin to a London Clay, sometimes with the tea bag still in it at the bottom.

TheHeadlessWombat Mon 05-Oct-09 16:04:27

No need. Get him this instead.

Guimauve Mon 05-Oct-09 16:04:28 This might help!]]

Guimauve Mon 05-Oct-09 16:05:15

Ha! And I buggered up the link!

OnlyQuoteMeInTheTelegraph Mon 05-Oct-09 16:05:22

Oh what a wonderful idea grin but now I want one of those mugs too!

TheHeadlessWombat Mon 05-Oct-09 16:05:39

Though Earl Grey is pretty disgusting regardless of how dark the tea is.

claricebeansmum Mon 05-Oct-09 16:06:35

What a brilliant mug.

ConFuschias Mon 05-Oct-09 16:09:08

Pft - London Clay? Bleurgh!!

Wombat & Guimauve, that mug would be useful if they did an Earl Grey version, but alas none of those shades equate to how I like my tea.

ConFuschias Mon 05-Oct-09 16:10:43

<<goes off to phone F&B to see if they will make a version of that mug to suit Earl Grey drinkers>>

GentleOtter Mon 05-Oct-09 16:12:17

Why is he not bringing you a proper tray with milk jug , china cup and teapot?

Guimauve Mon 05-Oct-09 16:16:27

It's true, EG does have it's own colour scale - pale even when strong. Is DH an Earl Grey novice, used only to making PG?

Guimauve Mon 05-Oct-09 16:17:18

I'm sorry, I do believe there was an erroneous apostrophe there!

GibbonInARibbon Mon 05-Oct-09 16:18:31

Earl Grey with milk? yuck!

However if this is how you like your tea grin YANBU

ConFuschias Mon 05-Oct-09 16:23:17

Guim (may I call you that? Although it does make me think of quim blush), DH always used to be an Earl Grey drinker but has now defected to PG Tips. Or rather, a PG Tips tea bag dunked in some milk, such is the peely-wally way he favours it.

GentleOtter - that would involve work for me! Having to pour things myself. No, I want to train him so that I have a lovely hot ready-to-drink mug handed to me, just how I like it.

London CLay is nothing on how MIL makes it - she brought me a cup once and I had to spit it back into the cup it was so strong. I've not had an undrinkable cup of tea before.

I do sometimes wonder if DH is trying to ruin tes for me.

Bettymum Mon 05-Oct-09 16:38:17

Hee hee I want one of those mugs.
I had a suspicious peely-wally cup of tea brought to me by DH yesterday. It turned out to be Earl Grey with milk. No! Earl Grey is always drunk black! I have Tetleys with milk added to look more or less like Charleston Grey (which isn't very grey).

PuppyMonkey Mon 05-Oct-09 16:39:07

YABU to drink Earl Gray, vile flowery, perfumey horrible stuff. Vom.

I asked for tea after a meal in a posh restaurant the other week (hate coffee too) and they gave me farking EARL GREY.. Without even warning me or asking me. I made them go back and do it again with Tetley or similar.

I do, however, make perfect Earl Grey tea for others. With just a drop of milk. It's not rocket science (it's far more important than that).

Guimauve Mon 05-Oct-09 16:39:44

Oh dear, lol-ed and scared the baby at quim! Perhaps just Gui....grin - your DH sounds like he doesn't deserve tea. At least he puts the teabag in the cup, and doesn't just show it the kettle!

Could it be as Pfft says - he is trying to ruin tea for you, so as not to have to make it?

Pfft - my best-friend's Mum's tea (phew) is much the same. "Just a leetle more milk please....perhaps just a teensy bit more...." - you have to ask for 'baby tea' to get a reasonable cup!

retiredgoth2 Mon 05-Oct-09 16:50:04

I had always believed Farrow and Ball to be a zany comedy duo who split when one of them found God.

It seems that I was mistaken.

GibbonInARibbon Mon 05-Oct-09 16:53:46

ROFL @ retiredgoth - oh how I do love your name...every time I see it I start singing sisters of mercy songs.

ConFuschias Mon 05-Oct-09 17:29:49

<<sings: and the devil in a black dress watches over>>

NestaFiesta Mon 05-Oct-09 17:31:54

Are you joking OP? I'm grateful when anybody makes me a cup of tea, whether its to my standards or not. I'm going to assume you're joking and give you the benefit of the doubt.

Thought- if you need a colour chart so he makes your tea to such exacting standards- what the hell is your sex life like? Do you have a whiteboard and a pie chart in the bedroom?

runnyhabbit Mon 05-Oct-09 17:34:14


Yanbu. Dh uses a colour chart when he's making a brew in work. Pinned up on the wall, with everyones name next to the colour they likegrin

AitchTwoToTangOh Mon 05-Oct-09 17:34:48

my dh is the only man who can make my tea properly, no milk, the colour of a fine brandy thanks. and lady grey or blue lady. i just have coffee if anyone else is making.

Lotkinsgonecurly Mon 05-Oct-09 17:40:56

What a good idea. I like the idea of F&B paints...much better to have lying around in the kitchen rather than B&Q colour chart!

GibbonInARibbon Mon 05-Oct-09 18:02:42

ConFuschias, you just took me right back to The catacombs/Electric Ballroom on a Sat' night singing that grin

I don't often miss London but I do miss Camden [nostalgic]

oooppss sorry thread hijack - see how my life has changed? no more sex, drugs and rock and roll for it's writing incredulous posts on MN re milk in EG tea grin

WoTmania Mon 05-Oct-09 18:14:23

YANBU - that's brilliant grin

Lexilicious Mon 05-Oct-09 18:18:47

another type of mug that might help using Pantone colours - scroll to the very bottom for the coffee and tea sets.

ConFuschias Mon 05-Oct-09 18:18:50

Nesta - god no, no way would I have a whiteboard and pie chart in the bedroom. That is far too crass.

Instead, I have commissioned some wallpaper with artistic diagrams of exactly what I like. The wallpaper is hung as a feature wall behind our bed, so that if he needs a reminder during intimate moments, he just needs to look up and find the picture for the position we are currently engaged in.

And my friends think that I am so avant-garde having pictures of naked copulating forms on our wallpaper.

If only they knew.....

At first, when I was presented with the odd cup of manky tea, I sucked it up, I did figure that I should be grateful for anything that I didn't have to make. Over time though, I lost that thinking and realised that it's quite annoying that the few special people in my life, despite repeated teachings, cannot remember how I like and how I despise my tea!

I can remember how they like their tea!

ConFuschias Mon 05-Oct-09 18:55:55

Lex - they even have an Earl Grey colour!

ConFuschias Mon 05-Oct-09 18:57:45

Gibbon - I miss Camden too <sigh>.

Those were the days - when I hadn't even heard of Farrow & Ball, never mind being able to classify tea according to their colour chart

Guimauve Mon 05-Oct-09 21:20:25

Aitch - what is blue lady tea? Have never heard of that. Got some Twinings Prince of Wales tea from the airport after we had some in Italy, and it's unutterably vile. Comes in a nice tin though.

Strangely, a non-tea-drinking friend of mine always made the best tea.

Guimauve Mon 05-Oct-09 21:21:47

Hmm, the Pantone tea mug set is temporarily out of stock. Has everyone gone and bought one?

ConFuschias Mon 05-Oct-09 22:01:52

Pfft - I totally understand what you mean. It can't be that hard for DH to learn how I like my tea. And if I am his beloved, surely he should want to make tea in the way that pleases me most.

I don't think a colour chart is enough - the tea depends on the strength adn the milkyness. By the time you put the milk in it is too late to correct the streangth.

ConFuschias Mon 05-Oct-09 22:16:21

do we need two colour charts then Trill? One for strength of tea and one for milkyness?

Lexilicious Mon 05-Oct-09 22:18:44

Yes Trillian, exactly! I like my tea bag to be briefly introduced to the hot water, enough so as they are casual acquaintances, would nod at each other in the street, you know. And then a small amount of milk so it's actually a mid brown sort of colour. But in the office when I say "weak" they leave the tea bag in for a full school-gate-clique-developing length of time, then slosh in enough milk for a decent bechamel sauce to bring it back to the right colour. Foul.

And I cannot abide the squeezing of the teabag against the side of the mug. To strain the analogy, that's like arranging a playdate. Strain, ha ha.

ConFuschias Mon 05-Oct-09 22:26:50

So we need a timer then, for the tea bag/water interaction - be it brief fling or long term loverness betwixt the two

...followed by the F&B colour chart for milkiness

Ladies, is this the answer to perfect tea made by others?

I think that a quick smart slap round the face followed by "make my tea the way I like it you feckless arse" would suffice. They don't need instruction, they need reprimanding for failure to pay attention!

Not sure how that would work with the MIL though grin

bitsnbobs Tue 06-Oct-09 09:47:39

Me and DH use Morph as a guideline for tea colour, I prefer Chad colour (builders tea,strong) whilst he prefers Morph. Have jus realised how sad my domestic life has become blush

Jux Tue 06-Oct-09 10:11:31

YABU - hugely.

DH has a particular way of making tea, and insists that I make his tea like that. I almost have to count the grains of sugar and measure the amount of milk, it's that detailed. I think he should just be grateful that someone is making him a cup of tea. If there's not enough milk or sugar, then he can add some if he wants.

When he makes me tea I am thankful. If I need to adjust the amount of milk then I do. It's not a problem.

Mybox Tue 06-Oct-09 10:12:32

lol - great idea

edam Tue 06-Oct-09 10:17:10

There are very few things more irritating than someone offering you a cup of tea but making it all wrong. ESPECIALLY when it's your dh/dp who should really know how you like it!

Dh will insist on squeezing the teabag. Drives me nuts. I don't want it too strong or too milky!

BloodRedTulips Tue 06-Oct-09 10:21:04

could be worse... dp puts the milk and tea bag in his cup first, then adds hot water [boak]

mould flavoured hot milk is produced.

i've trained him how to make mine properly... 7 years and i'm finally getting proper cups of tea (weak, black and sweet for the curious) but when his family come to stay they keep insisting on making tea for me and it is actually completely and utterly undrinkable

ConFuschias Tue 06-Oct-09 10:33:41

But Jux, how can you remove the milk when far too much has been poured in?

Jux Tue 06-Oct-09 10:36:02

Ah well, that's a problem. You could always ask him not to milk it at all and then do that bit yourself.

ConFuschias Tue 06-Oct-09 10:36:08

<boak> at BRT's dp's method

bitsnbobs - love the Morph colour guidelines!

Though I think I may adopt Pfft's approach grin

BloodshotEyeballs Tue 06-Oct-09 10:55:25

DH makes the most wonderful tea...but he also makes the shite-est tea as well. I like strong tea, lots of milk, no floaters. This morning I heard the kettle starting to bubble and literally, within 15 seconds he was bringing the tea into me. No no no no! I said. Go back and out some body in it. Soe he dumped the mug and went to work hmm

On a related note, why is it that the most deliciously perfect cup of tea you will ever have in your life, is the one you have to leave half of because you're running late?

Guimauve Tue 06-Oct-09 11:03:29

Oh, that is so true! You want to gulp it down but 'tis too hot and has to be left!

Turniphead1 Tue 06-Oct-09 11:11:07

I am so impressed with the true essence of Mumsnet middle-classness with this. A Farrow and Ball tea chart. Brilliant! You should email them with this great idea - mugs (a la Pantone colour chart ones) but with "Earl Grey should be Cord" emblazoned on it. Brilliant!

I would of course recommend the use of the (expensive) handpainted F&B paint chart NOT the inferior printed one, where the colours are not quite right.

starwhores Tue 06-Oct-09 11:16:49

THat mug is one my to buy for christams list.

6feetundertheGroundhogs Tue 06-Oct-09 11:18:47

LOL ConFuscias! Farrow and Ball? Earl Grey Tea? YABU... that's so posh, you ought to get your Butler to make it instead! he'd get it right!

JOKE! grin

Think you could be onto a good idea about the F&B/Earl Grey Mug... but aren't you supposed to drink Earl Grey black???

minxpinx Tue 06-Oct-09 11:38:55

This made me laugh as we had paint charts up in our kitchen at work with peoples names by the colour they liked their tea! I thought that we were the only mad people doing that grin

Earl Grey is nice if you make it strong with milk...

I ignore your rules on how I must drink my tea.

Merrylegs Tue 06-Oct-09 11:54:02

I prefer my Earl Grey more Savage Ground, but the past couple of mornings DH has been turning it out Wimborne White. Honest to God, it is Undrinkable.

Pikelit Tue 06-Oct-09 11:59:25

Disregarding the fact that this is the pisstake of the day (and jolly good too!) I'm afraid that we have no time for Farrow & Ball colour charts round here. I once caught dp making free in the kitchen with Laura Ashley and her duck-egg blue but soon sorted him out and put him on the righteous path to Pantone.

Pikelit Tue 06-Oct-09 12:12:12

PS. But just the thought of a refreshing brew is sending me downstairs for a cup of 4635C

ConFuschias Tue 06-Oct-09 12:22:51

Trillian - you are my kind of tea drinker!

Merryleggs - Wimborne White shock. That is worse than my DH makes it.

I could drink mine Savage Ground colour though.

To show how tolerant I am, I think I will give the following directions to DH:

Preference: Cord
Acceptable: Savage Ground, String, Matchstick, Fawn, Buff

I still fear though that the best I am going to get from him is Cream

I'm really not at all impressed with this idea that just because someone makes you something, you have to be grateful. Just because my DH deigns to make me a cuppa does not mean I have to be so pathetically grateful that I should drink it even if it tastes like shit hmm

ConFuschias Tue 06-Oct-09 13:00:17

I agree Pfft. I have more self-worth than that. grin

It's like if each Christmas DH repeatedly bought me a perfume that I didn't like. And I kept telling him I would like different ones. Well after a few years of keeping getting the same unwanted present, you would get annoyed, and more directive, wouldn't you?

'Tis no different with the tea.

vacaloca Tue 06-Oct-09 13:11:21

If someone asked me to describe MN for them, I would just show them this OP - poncey, middle-class, moany, witty and very funny.

ConFuschias Tue 06-Oct-09 13:15:16

yep, that just about sums me up vacaloca grin

skybluewinking Tue 06-Oct-09 13:19:08

Peely-wally: I love this description,but until now have only ever heard my mum use it. I thought it was a 1940s South African thing, will now work it into every conversation I can!

ConFuschias Tue 06-Oct-09 13:27:13

I thought it was a Scottish phrase. Interesting that it's used in Sth Africa too.

Merrylegs Tue 06-Oct-09 13:33:32

ConFuschias, I have just made myself a cup of Archive, and TBH it is Not Bad. Sensing we are probably in the same 'mug', colour palette wise, may I suggest you add it to your list of acceptability. Or do you think too much choice is a Bad Thing? Will it only confuse?

ConFuschias Tue 06-Oct-09 13:40:23

I will take your recommendation and add Archive to the acceptable list Merrylegs.

I think that giving him more colours within the acceptable range should make the task a little less challenging for him!

babyicebean Tue 06-Oct-09 13:55:16

We used to use a map of the UK for making tea,

Boss liked his Glasgow or Edinburgh which was almost no milk

I was about Leeds - less strong but still strong

The PA liked hers about Birmingham

And so on till you got to a rep who liked his on the Isle of Wight - you made the tea and opened the tea bag box so the milk could see a tea bag I think he would have drunk warm milk.

The further north you were depended on how strong - it was to do with the amount of daylight hours.It was a very odd place to work.

ConFuschias Tue 06-Oct-09 13:57:03

I'm liking that you had a system babyicebean, but it's not very visual - and would confuse the hell out of my DH!

EdgarAllenPoo Tue 06-Oct-09 14:03:39

i like my tea in 'milk chocolate' - possibly i could put a cadburys bar in the kitchen for DH to match it...

there's a flaw in that plan, but I just can't work out what it is.

loving your work OP.

PixiNanny Tue 06-Oct-09 14:13:23

Haha, I was going to link you to the 'MyCuppa' mugs too, I'm getting a coffee one for my partner at Christmas

Bettymum Tue 06-Oct-09 14:51:00

skyblue I think peely-wally is Scottish too, it's a great word.
Just enjoying a mug of Pantone 16-1327. Mmm perfect.

Thing is, I'm not even that fussy. As long as it doesn't look like a brick wall or dishwater I don't really mind how it looks. So it's not like I have exacting standards....<sigh>

fanjolina Tue 06-Oct-09 19:39:13

brilliant thread! I like normal tea, not poncey Earl Grey - Farrow & Ball Sand colour will do me nicely

ConFuschias Tue 06-Oct-09 21:18:14

Pfft - your DH is indeed a feckless arse in that case

Mind you, it sounds like it was a trait passed down from his mother

Con - now that's what I like, blame the MIL grin

alibubbles Wed 07-Oct-09 08:57:26

Definitely one for the round up this week, it made me laugh out loud when I saw the title.

I am so grateful if anyone makes me a cup of tea, that I will generally drink it, even without sugar, as no one ever seems to have it in the house these days!

ConFuschias, how would you could with the cup of tea that DH so thoughtfully puts beside you at 5.45 am when he is off on the Eurostar away the week, every week, take a great slug and all you can taste is his aftershave from his hands that he has just applied before going out of the door! I love him dearly!

ConFuschias Wed 07-Oct-09 09:08:33

Ali, I'd be very grateful but couldn't drink it!

apostropheisback Wed 07-Oct-09 09:20:58

is there a dulux version of this thread running in a parallel universe for those of us whose partners over- or under-milk their pg tips?

ConFuschias Wed 07-Oct-09 10:13:56

I think such people need a Pantone version Apostrophe. Dulux is too confusing - far too many shades.

ConFuschias Wed 07-Oct-09 10:13:57

I think such people need a Pantone version Apostrophe. Dulux is too confusing - far too many shades.

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