For wanting to send DS2 to another school?

[TellAnyone]

My DS2 is "hard work", he finds it very difficult to get on with other kids and is always at trouble at school. He gets sent out of assemblies, sent out of the classroom, has to work on an isolated table on his own and has even been blamed for stuff that has happened when he's been off school ill!

The bottom line is that I know he is a pain and he's hard to cope with but I feel he's made a name for himself at this school now and its a no-win situation.

On friday he came home with bruises all over his legs from where someone had been kicking him and calling him a tramp. The teacher had
responded by saying "well, what did you do to him?"

He's 8 (in year 4) shall I move him to a different school? new friends and a fresh start?

[OldLadyKnowsNothing]

He'll be the same "him", though, won't he? How do you think he'd cope with the change? Is there another good school nearby that you can get him into?

[Rachmumoftwo]

It might be worth thinking about moving him- yes he may be a pain, but he is still a child and the school is letting him down. There are other ways to deal with children and it sounds like he has a bad name and not enough support at school.

[elmofan]

yes i think you should move him , i agree with rachmum though about the school letting your ds down , imo most 8yr boys are hard work ,

[TellAnyone]

I do agree that he will always be "Him" and no doubt he will find like-minded boys at the new school and try and cause havok there. I just don't know what to do for the best. There are lots of good primary schools in the area, what I'm frightened of is other parents saying children like my DS are bringing "Their" schools down iyswim?

[nooka]

My ds has a touch of this, and moving schools has been incredibly hard for him. I think you need to look at the root causes and see if you can help/get help. Perhaps a new school could be a part of that, but bear in mind that it is very disruptive moving, and that you will be giving him a big challenge. He'll probably need a lot of support. On the other hand some schools manage their more challenging children much better than others. We've always been reassured that although our ds is clearly difficult at school, his teachers have also been able to see his good qualities too.

[Pikelit]

From what you say, the school aren't being very helpful. However, moving schools may reinforce your son's view of himself as "difficult" and that can only lead to more problems. Have you thought to explore why he behaves as he does and consider getting some support?

[FabBakerGirlIsBack]

It is almost irrelevant that he is just being him when the school assumes he is the bad one. He has no chance with that.

[TellAnyone]

He has been assessed by pysciatrists and allsorts, they find nothing wrong with him. He is bright but only when he wants to be ... he will argue down that he doesn't know the answer to 10 x 3 but will give off the answer the square roots of whatever number without even thinking about it.

He was laughing like mad last week because 'someone' (could have been him) wrote "dog crap" on the white board at school ... yet today he was going mad because he saw some litter in the lake.

I am making a point of spending every Saturday morning with him one on one (hard with 3 kids but do-able) and he's a totally different child. He helped an old woman picking up litter from the park this morning and handed in £1 to the park ranger he found in the grass (who told him to keep it, DS ended up putting it in guide dogs charity thing in tesco).

Yet put him in a group of kids and he turns into Damien.

Trouble is, nobody seems to see the good kid but me.

[nooka]

I think I'd look around other schools and get an idea of what alternatives there are. Our UK school had a behavioural unit, and whilst ds's issues were in no way comparable, I do think it helped because the school had more of an understanding of difference, and excellent links with support services. So a school with a different ethos might have more to offer your ds perhaps. Ours did things like whole class work on how to play nice games together for example, which helped ds's social skills.