to want SOME control over packed lunches?

[kinderfool]

DD's (6yo) first day back at school today and she was a bit nervous about her new class so in her packed lunch, besides her drinks bottle, ham sandwich, a plum, piece of cheese (proper cheese not cheese spread or something) and a box of cherry tomatoes (at least 10 or more), I put in a Kinder egg (a massive treat for her) to cheer her up.

Comes to pick up and she'd had a reasonable day but was anxious to tell me she'd really wanted to eat her egg but hadn't been allowed. Checked her lunch bag expecting that she'd tried to eat that first and been stopped but after checking first and asking her, found out she'd eaten every crumb of everything else and had one little bite of choc before the TA watching stopped her. And it wasn't as if certain things aren't allowed, there's no nut allergy notifications at her school, and no set down rules about what can/can't be brought.

Now I completely sympathise with the need to crack down on kids who get a lunch of Coke, crisps and chocolate AND would completely understand if it was the toy they'd objected to (but dd was told by me she could eat the egg but not to even open the toy bit, to bring it home with her instead and knowing her she'd have repeated this parrot-style to the TA), but this just seems completely overboard for the first day.

As far as I can see, what I sent her with is a balanced meal so as long as it stays that way it should be of no concern to anyone else what I want her to eat. Plus she's a skinny little thing (thanks to never staying still) so the very last thing I need is someone putting ideas into her head that it's only ever acceptable to eat uber-healthy foods.

AIBU to, in a very polite and reasonable way, tell the TA to keep her nose out?

[hercules1]

You are being unreasonable. Crazy to send in a kinder surprise egg as part of a packed lunch.

[jeminthecellar]

You have my sympathies...check with school to see what their policy is, may well be that no chocolate is allowed.

Pain in the arse i agree.

[Sidge]

YABU. You'd have been better off saving the Kinder Egg for when she came out of school.

I am vehemently anti over-moderation of lunchboxes but I think that no child needs chocolate in any shape or form in their lunchbox. They are only at school 6 hours a day, so there are the other 6-8 waking hours for them to enjoy a treat.

[kinderfool]

With an otherwise perfectly healthy lunch hercules? Was only for the first day anyway, wouldn't have been surprised if it was a daily thing but to crack down on the first day back instead of just telling her not to have one in future seems harsh to me.

jem - double checked (as they have all their policies, letters etc online) and nothing said about choc in lunches - only that all afternoon snacks have to be fruit (fair enough imo).

[BrigitBigKnickers]

I think this would count as sweets even if a part of a packed lunch and most schools have a no sweets rule.

If they had objected to a Chocolate biscuit (penguin/ kitkat)or small cake, yes I would be annoyed- especially if the child had eaten a healthy packed lunch but a Kinder egg is sweets.

[MIAonline]

I would be very surprised if there was no policy on this. Most schools have a no sweets or chocolate policy now and make this clear when new children start and when a new policy is brought in.

If you have missed it, well then now you know. A kinder egg seems a particularly bad example as they are not usually allowed toys either!

[hercules1]

But it's not the same as a small bar of chocolate is it? Just imagine the other kids seeing a child with a kinder surprise egg? Not on.

[colette]

Kinderfool I wish we had some policy on it here in Glasgow.
My Ds keeps eating other kids snacks ie;sweets. Recently they have said 'we are not giving you anymore'you don't have any of your own ' finally
i understand why you were peeved you were trying to let her know you were thinking of her at lunchtime

[FritesMenthe]

YABU
Stick a little note in next time, to let her know you are thinking of her.

[TsarChasm]

I agree and do not think yabu.

Tbh though I'd steer clear of a confrontation with the TA right at the start of term over it.

I got into a spat at the beginning of term last year over a snack (a snack fgs!) It got me no-where. They have the might of their 'policies' behind them and therefore there is no discussion to be had

[kinderfool]

Definitely no policy either online or that I've been informed on, but as a school they're usually laid-back about things they don't absolutely have to crack down on.

But fair enough, can see the point about the look of it being chocolate/sweets AND a toy (especially as the kids wouldn't have known she wasn't allowed to open it), can concede I'm BU. Was primarily thinking about the chocolate side, practically ignored the toy side .

Don't usually object to all and sundry, probably hormonal and stressed with the return to school rigmarole

[kinderfool]

Thanks Tsar - wouldn't make it a full spat, usually like the TA involved anyway, so don't think she did it in a 'jobsworth' way. Was thinking of the choc aspect and don't think I'd have been unreasonable on that side but remembering it would have seemed to others like a flashy toy thing it wasn't the best thing to choose, will stick to normal choc and a note next time! (although that'll probably be more disruptive as she insists on reading everything to all her friends ).

[danthe4th]

Lol to kinderfool

[kinderfool]

Lol colette - love your ds helping everyone else to share .

Thanks for the responses, still getting my head round packed lunch politics after 3 years, can't wait till she can do her own!

[Firawla]

i think yanbu to be annoyed but not worth making an issue over it as i doubt they wil change their policies. i think its quite ott and silly though

[mariemarie]

I dont think YABU but, I can see it from the point of view of the school.

However, on the subject of packed lunches, there has been lots in the news recently about them trying to ban small snacks. Personally, I always send a small snack in my childrens otherwise very healthy lunchbox.

What annoys me is that a child on school dinners has a choice of jelly, pudding and custard, rice pudding etc.

The problem here is that instead of targeting the actual individuals who send in a mars bar, packed of crisps and can of coke, they are too scared to speak to individuals therefore the whole school are banned from taking in "unhealthy" snacks with their lunch.

Small snacks will do no harm for a child with an otherwise balanced diet.

[MsHighwater]

If it were me, I would - calmly and politely - tell the school that, when I am providing the food and in the absence of evidence of harm to her, what my child eats is up to me (and dh) and ask that she be left alone to eat it without interference in future. I am prepared to accept restrictions for the sake of another child with a life-threatening allergy but not otherwise.

[piscesmoon]

YABU. It wasn't fair to have it in front of the other DCs-it would have been very easy to wait until she came out of school.

[frogwatcher]

mshighwater - well said, I agree totally. I think its awful that we are told what or what not to send to school for our children to eat. If we feel they could have chocolate, why shouldnt they. Tough luck if other children havent got any - lifes not fair and they will realise it soon enough. I send in what I like and have not yet been questioned on it. I really really cant see the problem with a small sweet treat at the end of a healthy meal - school dinners have it in the form of jam roly poly and custard, choc. crunch biscuits - how much sugar is in those!!

[ravenAK]

Ms Highwater, I think what your dd's school would then do is calmly & politely point to the home/school agreement which you have signed, agreeing to support school policies...

OP, it is absolutely a sledgehammer/wrong nut situation.

But it won't hurt any child not to have sweets or chocolate during school hours.

If the catered alternative is unhealthy (where I teach it is utterly appalling) then by all means complain about that!

I wish more parents would complain about our grim food. It's the only way we'll ever get them to stop serving pasta with baked beans & grated cheese as a 'healthy option'.

[LovelyTinOfSpam]

I think it was a lovely gesture to put the surprise egg in to cheer her up.

Not sure whether you ABU or not, but the sentiment was nice!

[kreecherlivesupstairs]

No, you weren't BU. Being unreasonable is sending your child in with salami sticks and another child eating them. This is a regular occurance despite DD, teacher and parents of sausage theif being aware of what's happening. Daughter now takes pretzels instead and has salami after school.

[gagamama]

YAB a little U to put contraband chocolate in her lunchbox (especially when it contains something as coveted by 6-year-olds as a tacky plastic toy ) but the TA was unreasonable to take it away from your DD. My DCs aren't quite school age yet, but I'd hope they'd let the children eat what their parents gave them, and just try and dissuade the parents from giving it in the first place?! It is literally taking candy from a baby - very heartless!

[PuppyMonkey]

Can't blame the school for introducing a blanket no sweets rule. Your daughter had a healthy lunch and is on the skinny side, but others in her class won't have those benefits. Far easier to say no to everyone rather than asking TAs to apply a rule to one kid and not to another.

Kinder Surprise are also yukky horrible tasteless European chocolate... stick to Cadburys next time ok? But save it for the journey home...

[gorionine]

YANBU AT ALL! this school policy madness has driven me potty for the last two years. I HATE (not schouting at anyone on the thread , just get really worked up about it, every time1) when school think they know better than us parents what we should give our children and assume that if they have a chocolate every now and then they will become obese.

PuppyMonkey Why should Op or anyone else care about what is in other people lunch box? My DCs have NEVER had crisps in school, even when it was allowed and they NEVER asked to just because they could see other children eating them. I do not think there should be a rule at all. School should raise awareness that too many sweets, chocolate crisps are not goo but not banning them altgether.

Our school has an even more ridiculous rule (it is the only think I ever had to complain about with the school, 3 dcs in it ,one in her last primary school year). Sweets, chocolate, biscuits, cereal bars and crisps cannot be eaten in the morning break but can be eaten at lunch time.

Now, when someone can explain to me what difference it makes when they eat it WRT obesity risk I will stop giving a cereal bar to my DCs for break, not before!