I have never posted here before, but feel at the end of my tether and really need some advice please...
I am really not sure if this is my problem or my DH's. He drinks at least 4 cans of larger EVERY night - more if he starts early and definately more at weekends - particularly if there is sport on TV!
I hate him drinking. Part of the problem is that my mum is an alcoholic and I had such a hard time growing up with her - she used to embarrass me at school, I had to clean up after her, we were taken into care aged 5 because she could not cope etc, etc
My Husband feels that I just have a hang up about alcohol. He says that he drinks to relax, he does not drink in the mornings (unless 'special occasion!?!') and can go a little while without drinking when he decides to 'detox' but he has not done that in a while.
I have asked him to cut down so many times and he did for a while - went for a few weeks without drinking Monday - Wednesday but that did not last long. As a consession to me, he now drinks the 4% Stella, rather than the stronger stuff, but it still makes me so sad.
We have three children under five and I worry about going out and leaving them with him, particularly at weekends as if they were ill in the night he would not wake up.
He often passes out on the sofa (although he would just say he dozed off)
It can be difficlut to know how his drinking effects his daily life, but he struggles to get up in the mornings (says he is 'tired') he is self employed and money is a big issue - we can not afford for him to lose a couple of hours worth of work in the mornings.
I love him dearly, he is in so many ways a great husband and father but I just can not get past his drinking - he does not get violent but can get mouthy - he will often not remember our 'conversations' and just talks jibberish - I did video him once and played back his drunk monologue but even that had no effect.
If you think I am being unreasonable, please tell me. There is a part of me that would love to hear that this is all down to my perception of alcohol and then maybe I can just accept it and get on with things, but this has made me so sad for so many years.
Sorry to have waffled on, but I really do not have anyone else to talk to about this.
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AIBU?
To ask my husband to drink less?
9 replies
Viv180 · 21/07/2009 19:51
OP posts:
sarah293 ·
21/07/2009 20:02
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