My friend met her current husband 8 years ago, he was married at the time but they ended up together and, after a few ups and downs got married last year. I am friends with both her and her husband and we all work for the same organisation.
I have known her for 10 years and consider her to be a close friend.
About 6 months before they got married she caught him in bed with another woman - in their bed, at their home. It turned out he had been having an affair with her for several months. My friend was devastated but refused to talk about it, she changed alot as a result and became quite withdrawn. She married him and often refers to the incident by talking about the woman involoved and how she clearly went after her husband etc She has never ever suggested that it may have been his fault or that he was responsible.
I try not to judge, she is an adult, I decided that it was my place to support her decision and that is what I have done.
About three months ago I started to hear rumours that he was seeing another woman who works in his dept. I I heard several versions from a different people but must admit that I dismissed most of them as just gossip - my job is terrible for gossip. However, in the last few weeks I heard more rumours of his having blatent affairs with other women, several of them. Everything I knew was second hand - I had no evidence to suggest it might be true and on that basis I decided not to tell my friend.
A couple of weeks ago he was disciplined at work for having innapropriate relationships with numerous women at work. The rumours appear to have been true.
My friend and I met that night because she was obviously upset. She had already decided that she is staying with him and that he is not to blame. She asked me if I had heard any rumour in the weeks leading up to this and I confessed that I had. She was really quite cross with me - she said that I should have told her and that if I had then this would have prevented him from being disciplined at work and that, as her friend, I owed it to her to pass this information on.
AIBU not to have passed this info on?
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AIBU?
not to have told my friend this rumour?
24 replies
Momdeguerre · 17/07/2009 22:17
OP posts:
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