playing out

[roadybar]

Hi,

My son is 20 months old and he has just been "discovered" by a few other children (5-7 year olds) on his street who play out (we live in a cul-de-sac so this is not too dangerous) in the afternoons and evenings. They want him to play out with them which he loves doing and I am quite happy for him to do (under parental supervision obviously!), HOWEVER:

One little girl in particular rings our door bell ALL THE TIME especially when we are trying to get him to bed or when it's just not convenient (obviously I have to go out with him so it's not always possible). He is too little to understand why we can't let him go out and for the past couple of weeks bed time has been really difficult as there's lots of screaming because he hears the doorbell and wants to to go out. We've tried ignoring the doorbell but she will stand there and ring it constantly until someone goes down.

Also, as the other children are a lot older they climb walls, run across the road etc which I can't let my son do which leads to more tantrums and he becomes difficult (eg. running away from me over the road because the other children are crossing on their own).

I'n guessing the obvious thing to do is ask her parents not to let her call after 6pm (they're polish and not sure how much English they understand) but she is out on her own a lot and I'm not sure they always know where she is or what she's doing.

Should this bother me??!!
Any ideas please!!!!!

[sweetfall]

disconnect your doorbell

[PuppyMonkey]

I would disable the doorbell for a bit and then ignore any knocking for a few days until the message sinks in!

[Eddas]

i'd speak to her parents and disconnect the doorbell! It would definately bother me

[LynetteScavo]

Ask the children not to call for him - explain you will bring him out when he is allowed. Be FIRM, and you may have to repeat yourself everal times, but they wil bet the message (eventually). I speak from bitter experience.

[FairLadyRantALot]

Have you spoken to the little girl and tried to explain? She might speak better english than her parents, iykwim. Although, also try to speak to her parents too, certainly if speaking to the little girl doesn't help....
and disconnecting the doorbell is also a good idea...

[monkeyfacegrace]

FWIW, I think its lovely that at 20 months he has a little set of friends. Its so cute!

[LynetteScavo]

If you disconect the doorbell they will knock loudly to tell you it's broken

[FairLadyRantALot]

message on door, please don't ring/knock, putting Baby/little Boy to bed?

[Noonki]

I would tell her and you can be quite direct I reakon with kids, they are used to it (school/parents....) and talk to her parents.

I bet they speak a bit of English. If not ask me and I can tell you in REALLY bad polish how to get the message across to them! (Polish mum but never taught the language so it will be baaad but understandable!)

[OhYouBadBadKitten]

Does the little girl speak English?
Could you draw a smiley face and tell her when that is stuck on the door/in the window then she can ring the door bell because it means your ds is allowed out to play?

[corriefan]

I agree with specifying times when it is and isn't Ok to knock and if they call out of time remind them of the rules.

[Mumofagun]

I think it's so lovely that your DS is being accepted into the street "gang" in the nicest of terms, even if he is so young. My DS was 3 when I started letting him go out to play. The road crossing thing shouldn't be a problem cos you said it was under supervision, however, I agree, talk to the little girl. I bet she speaks good english and devise a couple of pictures to put up on the front door to stop her ringing the bell. One with a picture of a baby asleep, and another of a sign saying "I can play"!. I did this with anyone who had to ring my bell cos I had a child that couldn't sleep and it worked wonders. Get the pictures and explain to her what they mean, "Ring, don't ring", but don't discourage it if they are a lovely lot, it sounds ideal for you DS as long as they realise that he can't do everything they can do and you supervise him (or someone else).

[roadybar]

Thanks all, that's really helpful. I like the idea of putting signs/pictures on the door to say whether they can ring the doorbell (eg. smiley face or sleeping). The little girl has started to lift and call through the letterbox and comes into the house as soon as I open the door, am goin to start to be firmer with her I think (I won't be pushed around by a 6 year old!!!....)

[Caitni]

I'd say just explain to the girl along the lines of "My son is only little so needs more sleep than you do so you're not allowed to ring the door for him after X time. If you ring the door then I'll just have to tell you that he can't come out and it makes him cry. Now I know that you love him and don't want to make him cry so you won't be ringing the doorbell in the evenings from now on" etc etc. Be nice but firm and keep repeating it until she gets the message. A verbal explanation plus the pictures sounds like a great idea (particularly if she isn't at the watch-wearing/paying attention to time stage herself).

I wouldn't leave her to keep ringing the doorbell and ignore it - kids will just think no one can hear them and keep ringing!

She sounds lovely, but her enthusiasm just needs to be, er, reined in! And it's lovely that your son has a little group of pals. Reminds me of when I was growing up .