lol, DH doesnt fit in his kilt anymore, he's too fat!

But no, we dont go to blackpool, we've been there once on one of those sun holidays and that was enough for me!

We usually try and head for Download, but we're thinking about taking the kids to a family fesitival down in Ottery St Mary in a few weeks.

cyradis
do you go to the punk festival at blackpool?
it is fab, we have been for the past 5 years
my dh sounds like yours
last year he wore his kilt and really embarrassed the DC

'old punks don't retire, they just stand at the back'

i am an unrepentant Goth who married an older punk who refuses to retire despite his increasing middle and we both hang with lots of other unrepentant and non-retiring goths, punk, rockers and hippies...its all very nice and non-conformist!

My only claim to gothdom is liking the clothes, I spent most of the age 16-17 in a long black skirt, black t-shirts, purple (!) denim jacket, with lots of heavy silver jewellery. However apart from the Cure I hated the music much prefering Abba!

Isn't one of the perks of being a parent judging other parents? I don't believe people who say they don't judge at all even secretly.
Whilst I may throw my hands up in horror at the fact you don't even have a safety net on your trampoline, which is just stupidity, you may throw your hands up in horror about the fact I don't have stairgates for the same reason. Judging other people makes me feel better about my parenting skills!

so far, the only thing to have shocked me on this thread, is discovering that retired goth is MALE.
apart from that, you all sound worryingly normal

RG2 - glad you have reinstated your profile and with new pics, I do believe. Your ginger boys are lovely, btw.

am lolling at your profile about dW and the dishwasher.

We used to call snakebite and black buckets of blood. I quite fancy one now actually.

On the original point, I cannot judge anyone at all this week as yesterday I let the DC watch three episodes of Blackadder series two - it was quite interesting to see DD1 laughing at jokes she really shouldn't have got.

They say it everwhere- its NFB I know of (Normal For Bridgwater)

heh, they say that in Exeter about people from Tiverton as well - NFT - normal for Tiverton.
Must be one of those regional things, like Tasmanians all having a scar on the side of their neck from where the second head was removed.

dawntigga
that about sums norfolk up
I can say that because I was in fact born in London and moved away as soon as i could. In fact i got married at 20 because my husband looked like Robert Smith, and I just had to marry him.
He has in fact aged just like Robert(mostly round the middle too)

Adding that bit about Mrs Goth (sorry for your loss) really does give you a MN judgy ye out of jaileth free eth card.

I salute your humour.... but I so worry for your children. They may well grow up to be self sufficient and non judgy, shame on you.

purepurple a very infamous doctor once told me that nfn on a medical chart stood for normal for norfolk and it meant they were a bit dim I always think quiz of the week when I hear Norfolk (or Norwich) now that gives away my age!

Bless, there are loads of emo's etc. near the courts virtualy every Saturday. One of them said something once that wasn't very nice. I simply pointed out I was a goth before they were born and that The Damned was my first ever concert. One of them asked who The Damned were! Que education in gothdem

dxx

Riven at ganga- ds1 and ds2 follow diesel lorries down the road trying to breathe fumes yelling how it reminds them of carnival (note to self: dont satnd them on generator trailer next year!)

PMSL at snakenite..... remember geting a dental abscess at 20 and being away camping (in a field with mates nowt fancy) and finding that snakebite through a straw is the best way to cure any level of jaw pain....

Still ahve a few goth clothes stashed in the ewardrobe, the patchwork hippy stuff went the way of the recycling lorry many years ago. My best mate was a full goth and my sister into hippy grunge so I had to find a mid way (often known as 'god she looks a fright doesn't she')

my inner goth ( from the early 80's dontyaknow) was hidden way down in my 30's when I had a long affair with navy blue (oh the shame, it makes me shiver to remember it all)
now it has re-emerged and is glad to be back home. It hepls me to look down sadly at all the little emus that are just trying too hard.

talking of gothdom, my inner goth (from the late 80's) keep thretaning to re-emerge inappropriately now I'm 40. Lukcily I converted to Islam and get to wear black all the time
Musim goth
And I still love Sisters of mercy.

dawntigga, I share your abhorance for pernod
on my 18th birthday my dad said to me
"Now you are 18, you are an adult, and can do what you like, but
don't drink pernod
and don't go on those yank bases (we lived in Norfolk near the USAF bases)"
the first thing I did was order pernod in the pub while waiting for my taxi to the airbase!

Pernod???

Can't drink that anymore, got VERY drunk on it once and after you've thrown up on it, very hard to go back.

My, what a well mis-spent youth we had

dxx

Quatt I remember that thread and I would certainly let my nine year old DD watch the film you mention. Much of it would go over her head, (the prostitution) but why not let her see how children in other circumstances in this day and age have to live?

Oh censorship btw - absolutely can't be bothered with any of that. The DCs have a free run at the bookshelves. They also watch age-inappropriate films - eg Slumdog Millionaire

thumbwitch, we were all beautiful as late-teens with our pearly-white teeth, lots of hair and lovely skin. Shame we didn't appreciate it at the time

Funnily enough I think the jacket was originally from Harrods, (charity shop find) but teamed with DM boots, lacy top, ripped black tights and tie-dyed mini-skirt it looked OK

I have a large collection of teeny weeny patchouli-smelling garments mothballed in the attic.

PMSL at snakebite and black! I used to drink in a skanky old hole called the Junkies Joiners Arms in Finchley back in the 80's. The air was perenially green with "exotic cigarette" smoke and I once witnessed someone snort a line of coke off the bar. But even they refused to serve snakebites to the customers!

oh I love Pernod - but even more I love Pastis...
and love the sound of your jacket, Ninkynork - that is exactly what I would have been drooling over and wishing I could wear. Didn't really have the confidence to pull it off

Bullet Belt?

Pernod?

If I didn't know better (he is on FB) I would swear you were my First Love

.....snakebite and black, eh? Always best if topped with a Pernod....

....two pints for a pound before 10pm at 'the whip'.... Used to get four, or maybe six, each in to last the duration....

I wonder if my bullet belt is still in the loft?

<THINKS: I'm sure this wasn't my original point. But hey, evolution is a fine thing....>

I have a lovely bottle green / goldish yet dark swirly-patterned velvet jacket which smells strongly of poppers patchouli oil, snakebite and black and Mission at Wembley. Circa 1988 but it is tiny.

My inner Goth keeps threatening to re-emerge. Waking the Witch. Must be a mid-life crisis.

My skirts are getting longer and longer (am I really just hiding varicose veins and incipient cankles?) and I've noticed I'm the only woman in the office not covered in orange fake-bake.

Why I am strangely drawn to the vintage velvet fitted jackets on eBay?

What???? You mean you aren't perfect????

Shame on you

dxx

PS can one ever truly retire from Gothdem?

MrsFlittersnoop, DH is reading over my shoudler and taking notes.

We just took dd (5) to St Pauls Carnival. So on her message mate for school on Monday we can say 'dd went to the carnival and watched people smoking ganga'
Reckon they'll call the SS on us?
(and I will direct them to Goth Towers naturally to see RetiredGoth and his city threatening trampoline of doom )

Last week: "So, do you reckon that's small enough to pass through or does she need an Xray?"

Dh, this week, "Apparantly the life guard called it 'dry drowning'"

my DD has a bike helmet
on top of the fridge gathering dust
it has been there for 5 years, since I bought it
she is called Alice, after that song by the Sisters
I tried to retire from gothness but after 20 years it erupted again (or it might be a midlife crisis )

yesterday a little voice piped up from next door "WHO is that talking?"

dh, ds (16) his friend and i paused then ds said " it's the boogie man"

"shush" says i " thats not nice you#ll scare her"

"well you always threatened us with the boogie man"

"i threatened you with social services - lets have it right"

ds turned to his mate " She did 'n all"

i did too!

....not only is my trampoline without net, it is also without padding over the springs and metalwork.

<holds out wrists>

I'll come quietly, occifer.....

what great posting that was brilliant to read keep it going

you have a trampoline with no net!!! And you are in the same city as me!!!! OMG, you are putting my PFB (precious fourth born) at risk so I am wrapping her in cotton wool and stuffing her inside a bicycle helmet 'just in case'
hyper-ventilates

Well "I'm On" told me I was wibbling about on this thread last night and further investigation reveals the wine compelling me to post a link to a picture of Johnny Depp. That happens quite often, there's one on my FB page too

I don't judge you at all. I admire you for having the conviction to raise your kids the way you wish. Which is the way I will raise my kids.

You might enjoy this blog: Free Range Kids

nah, xylitol is merely a sugar that the bacteria that reside in our mouths can't use. Therefore the bacterial plaque doesn't use the sugar to make more acid, because it can't, and allows the mouth resources to achieve some re-mineralisation. Xylitol itself doesn't do any repair or remineralisation, it just limits the continual damage. But too much of it gives you explosive diarrhoea, same as any other sugar alcohol.

Amino acids can't attach themselves randomly to dead protein strands (hair).

There is stuff that can repair decayed tooth enamel, i think it's called Xylitol and it's a natural sugar found in certain fruits which can actually repair decay and damage in the teeth. Mad eh? So I'm less sceptical about the hair-repairing claims cause I would have said the same about Xylitol until I looked into it closely.

Argh! must go to bed!

no worries - am off to bed now - night!

will read that tomorrow thumbwitch

ah well, that depends on whether or not the stuff that is traversing the skin can be actually taken up and used by the bod, as opposed to being seen as a "furrin body" by the immune system.

I don't like the idea of nanoparticles of titanium dioxide residing under the skin of my DS. I am suspicious of nanoparticles of various cosmetics claiming to be able to repair various structures in the skin (especially that moronic advert for shampoo that contains amino acids to "repair your hair's protein" - yeah RIGHT. Cos that's REALLY going to work.)

But I do believe that nanoparticles can get through the skin.

Sorry RG, have reduced the lovely lighthearted tone of your thread even more!

I'll get me coat...

Night.Off to bed also.

Illegal schmillegal.

And with that, i'm off to bed, tis waaaaaay past my bed time!

it's this kind of thing that concerns me mrsboogie.

but if nano particles do traverse the skin - would that not mean that skincare products that waffle on about nano particles and and nano spheres might actually WORK?

I never use sunscreen.
My 2 year old plays unsupervised in the garden, and helps himself to the dvd player and tv, even takes out yoghurt from the fridge and fetches himself a little spoon.
I love driving without a seatbelt, is lovely, but only do it for parking, not quite passed my test yet either, so only on lessons. In my defense I am 28 weeks pregnant and seat belts are so uncomfortable.
I sometimes let my kids eat biscuits on demand, depending on how tired I am, but they equally like fruit, especially strawberries and grapes.
Cbeebies is fantastic.
Then I can go on laptop in peace

NAH.if it were a regular thing then yes.We all need a blowout sometimes (scuse pun).As a student I occasionally had a joint but was never tempted by anything stronger.iMO as long as it is not a reg thing then no harm done,NO worse 5than having a pint.I would not do it now cos of job and responsibilities but as student on an aoccasional basis was silly but enjyable.Still ILLEGAL though and daft loking at younger self.

Ah, I am also a retired Goth, a veteran of the early 1980s nights of pleasure at the Warehouse and Phono in Leeds. Happy days, sigh... and queueing up behind Ian Astbury at the beer stall at Futurama 1983 - or was it 1982 - at Leeds Queen's Hall stays with me still.

I might be a senior auditor these days, with staff and responsibilities, and a son, mortgage and all that stuff but my inner Goth resurfaces every now and then.

Worry not about being judged my friend, there are many here who are just like you!

no, nanoparticles are designed to traverse the skin barrier. Hence my concern.

to whomever it was mentioned sunscreen - the chemicals that are applied to your skin in sunscreen or whatever don't travel into the body. Skin is designed to prevent the entry of particles isn't it?

Oops, last message was to Ninkynork.

Re: cannabis and bf-ing, it does go through to milk, but in such small quantities that it's not been shown in any research to have an effect on the baby. I'm not getting trashed every night, and tonight had 2 drags (yes, I am that much of a lightweight!)

You're right, it's not the most sensible thing to do, and reading kellymom on the subject I think i won't bother again. But do I win first prize on the competitive bad parenting?

is it dinosaurs made of turkey or turkey made of dinosaurs?

/is impressed with own ability to spell dinosaurs after friday night wine consumption

I can't quite believe I just posted that...

A Gold or Blue Ribband for MrsFlittersnoop's mate, no?

Yes. Yes you are.

Is there a prize for Collective Bad Parenting?

Oldest mate's 50th birthday plus end of GCSE's party for their DD a few years back......

My mate discovered his DD's mates skinning up in the bog and promptly confiscated their stash while delivering a lecture about breach of trust.

He pretended to flush the grass down the bog and then took it to his office/shed at the bottom of the garden where the rest of the adults were hanging out and we smoked the lot.

Each to their own and all that.Sometimes I have a few drinks too many to dull it all,disabled dd and disabled dp...

I never drink the nights before I am working and at work.

I think as long as you do stuff in moderation and are not out of control then stuff should be ok,but cannabis and bf?Is that safe?Just a thought.

Lawks, is anyone else thinking RG is a dead ringer for this chap?

Just me then?

whats wrong with painted toenails?

i know iabu - but i can't stand any noise in the am

Sadly, due to dc, i now smoke outside. And due to being a grown up I smoke, carefully, using an ashtray on my lovely, middle class decking.

Oh, the shame. <<hangs head>>

I really should go to bed, one of the kids will be hanging off my nipples in the night...although I did just score 65% on an extreme metal quiz on Facebook.

Those were the days (sighs).

Now I medicate with legal alcohol.Prob much more damaging.

(Goes into reverie about student past)

Just don't drop blims on the keyboard Alestorm, those little burn marks are such a giveaway when the PTA mafia come round....

wrinkly - i was replying to MrsF further down. But because I'm a bit stoned and a lot drunk i'm quite slow typing tonight.

Ah but telly in teh morning avoids the need for speaking in teh morning custardo. I can get to gone 8am sometimes without having to talk to DD's at all.

No judging here rg, but I raise you
above mentioned TV as avoidance to 'involving' oneself with DD's (under 4yrs old)
Allowing the princess to try some raw egg yolk sarnie
froot shoots
soft play hell with deep fried sausies, chips and froot shoot for lunch
painted toenails
smoking on school run
take children truck racing without ear protection

EEEH? (to Alestorm suncream solioquy)

(Still shocked by Rod Hulls untimely ariel related demise)

Alestorm, I do admit that I don't like the idea of nanoparticles of dodgy chemical shite entering into my wee boy's bod via his skin and doing who knows what in there, to say nothing of blocking his Vit D-making potential.

That emu leather site is faintly disturbing. i'm going to have to drink more wine now, so i can sleep without dreaming about skinned emou's!

pmsl obm.

i feel better about my home doctor skills now rg thanks.

Yes it is Custy. And I don't see how they're going to get those emu leggings on. No wonder they're discontinuing those items.

Sunscreen actually has v nasty stuff in it - if it doesn't have titanium dioxide or zinc oxide as one of it's main (top 5) ingredients, then the actual blockage stuff in it is chemical crap which is carcinogenic.

So my mate says, anyway. So it must be true, innit?

<whispers> RG2, I believe it is Dottore in Italy...

<as you were>

Useful stuff, Loctite.. I've heard of it being used to glue wounds together before.
<makes mental note to add tube of Loctite to First Aid box>

I put the telly on so I don't HAVE to speak in the morning Custardo. And the dinos count as a Full English Cooked Breakfast chez nous.

obm - thats just wrong

v. sad about Rod Hull - fixing up his aerial for better reception for some stupid football game, iirc. Fell off the roof and died.

I have only used sunscreen on DS once so far, in Australia last October. Not here as yet. And I rarely, almost never, use soap on him. And I have a glass of wine most eves despite still bf'ing. And I put Milkshake on ost mornings cos after his morning feed DS grabs the remote for my (in the bedroom)tv and aims it at the tv until I do something about it.

....sounds fine to me, Custardo!

In Italy on holiday a couple of years ago, a twin slips poolside causing a minor head wound.

..cue major panic amongst lithe young lifeguards "Doctore! Doctore!' they cried....

'Loctite!' cried I. And bought some of said adhesive from camp shop, stuck twin together, threw back in pool....

Ah. I see both interests - emu, and emo - can be indulged simultaneously.

dinosaurs for brekkie?

oh no

i can't abide the telly on in the morning - in fact i can't abide speaking in the morning

Lol at Custardo.

Rusty THAT MAKES IT WORSE!!!

Competitive Bad Parenting thread eh?

Drank and smoked while BFing and co-sleeping (well, not simultaneously).

Turkey dinosaurs for breakfast.

Hardly ever use sunscreen (DS hates the sun and never goes out in it anyway).

Ferrying DS around in taxis without a carseat when younger.

Allowing 99% of all meals to be consumed on the sofa in front of the 42" flat screen telly.

TV on EVERY morning before school.

That's just a few things I can bring myself to admit to on a public forum. There is worse.

It was what I thought they said!! I'm not down wiv da yoof (was one of my patient's daughter's)

wrinklytum - Rod Hull fell off a roof in 1999.

Lololol Emu.
I saw Bauhaus maaany times and was obsessed with Pete Murphy .. Now, the only thing I can remember is 'maxell: breaks the sound barrier'. <slumps>

Always make my ds wear his helmet and safe pads if on his skate board. But he has lasting damage from a stone in the head incident and get super stroppy with him if he doesnt. I don't want another night from hell. PLus he is four and my rules still sit. No helmet no bike. interesting how the key to garage has misteriously disappeared when he gets the idea not to wear one

But then again he makes his own toast and makes an evil coffee that will wake the sleepiest individual. Instantly.

pmsl @alestorn despair! but sound out EMO go on

as an A&E nurse RG - this will make you partic judgey and make you feel v. better.

after a partic trying summer holidays with 3 kids ending up in casualty with banged bits and cut bits - at waiting between 4-6 hours a try - ds2 had a nasty head wound caused by a thrown stone.

instead of waiting for it to be glued and given a leaflet on concussion - i held it together for ages with my own bare hands. and stuck a plaster on it

I also heart RG2 and love the phrase-turneology (also quite fond of neology )

BUT <rains on whole joyous note of this thread> would suggest that you do please get a net for your trampoline? Please? I was at a party a few years ago where there was a large trampoline in the garden and various guests were having a go - anyway, one bounced off and landed in a flower bed and knocked himself out. Got up, didn't make a fuss, didn't want to go to A&E but the hostess and a non-drinking friend insisted - they got there, they x-rayed him - he'd fractured his neck. Landing on a soft flowerbed. I don't do safety paranoia in general, I really don't, but this is my one bete noire now.

Cooking unsupervised? no prob - I was frying bacon and eggs at the age of 7 before my parents were out of bed in the mornings.

Was a very closet goth - loved the look and the Cure and Siouxsie and the Banshees (do they qualify??) - really wanted to do it, but Dad Didn't Approve and I was too much of a wuss to go agin his wishes.

meant clicked but kicked might be more accurate anyway.

Alestorm,it really doesn't bear contemplating.

PS - Custy, it's despair...

Custardo - dyslexic and just googled emu as given. It only kicked that it was probably emo afterwards. Being a bit dense tonight and giving up for sleep.

<<muses>> If i was an EMU i'd have Rod Hull's hand up my arse, surely? Urgh...

AwwvMrs Flittersnoop,Whitby is lovely,Gothic or not.Fish n chips are a must

my kids didn't wear helmets on a cycle either.

i have some real horror stories of bad motherdom

nah the Cure never got as far as the glamorous North West of Ireland in the 80's...

UB40 did though, although that's going off topic a bit...

i think they are 20p now

My DH is a genuine Retired Goth. He took me to the Intrepid Fox in Soho on our first ever date and spent most of his 20s hanging out at Slimelight in Camden Town . He had shoulder length hair and wore a purple velvet frock-coat on our wedding day (and was REALLY old enough to know better at the time! )

A holiday in Whitby a few years back cured him for good. The sight of so many overweight balding middle-aged chaps in Victorian undertaker-style garb skulking around made him decide to cut his hair short and hang up his silk shirts for good.

He still reckons fat Goth girls are the best shags ever though, so I haven't chucked out my waspie corsets and black lipstick yet!

...sadly, these days I feel I am more Emu than Emo.

<8p noodles?? Gotta get me some of those...>

i dispair - how the hell can you mispell E.M.O.?

Which I actually take as quite a compliment, as on closer Google images inspection, they all seem quite young. <<preens>>

Pot noodle surely?..no need for a plate

is it wrong to take your kids on eurocamp type holidays so you can get pissed without social services taking your kids away? <rhetorical, we did this every year>

Lol at emu.Where is Rod Hull?

WTF is a "Pirate metal band"?Do they channel Johhny Depp?(Really intrigued old git emoticon)

Ahh this might be why i am lost googling. We both missspelt it its EMO. try this here

i pah @pasta

8p tesco noodles all the way baby - aslond as you can boil a kettle - you can make your tea

Ah, they probably meant emo then, Custy.

I think you chose bad examples, Custardo, as the difference is not that great.....

I am totally in awe of 4 dcs !I only have 2 and that is a nightmare enough.4 you deserve a bloody medal!

My current favourite band is Alestorm (hence my curent name!!) who are a Scottish pirate metal band. Their new album is called "Captain Morgan's Revenge". Win!

Nancy The Tavern Wench.

ferral urchins i can do!

friday night - equals feed yourself night - since i can't remember when - probably when they could use the toaster

emu alestorm?

EMU?

emu

emo

Emu accordingly to my little sis is a group of kids (? she's still a kid -not passed 25 yet ) who listen to manically depressive music and dress in a specific style that highlights the fact that they are all depressed weird or what ever. Or at least that was what i understood. I vaguely remember rolling my eyes and wishing that conversation come to a swift conclusion so suspect that i shall be adequatly put in my place.

I am loving the Aspergers/butteringtoast/noseblowing image.

I raise you learning disabled dd putting my clean washing,carefully ironed and on radiator laundry into washing machine...I was quite joyous,actually,that she had recognised what a washing machine was for....you have to laugh really

Go & see Rhombus. It's a bit like a Sisters gig, but they actually are a live band. Singer's a handsome devil, too.

...ah, but what do your offspring cook, Quattro?

The feral urchin cooks pasta frequently. That is ok. I maintain, however, that I do not know where he obtained the supernoodles.

I am sticking to that.

...it is much more scary watching my dyspraxic, Aspergers suffering 12 year old trying to butter toast whilst simultaneously blowing his nose....

<shudder>

Mrs Boogie,Robert is a lovely name and most (in)sane people love The Cure

Tell all Mrs Boogie. Did you shag Robert Smith?

I have a Goth credential; my DS1 is called Robert (born 1987). I have never admitted to him why .

I loved the Sisters in the 80s. I still maintain that they are my fave live band....

(saw them a couple of years ago, too. I prefer to expunge that from memory)

With regards to NHS pensions, WT, I am wondering too. I am P/T now as well, and will be for a few years yet.... I think the bottom line is sign nothing as it will not be about giving you more cash....

I'll see your no-helmets and lack of adult supervision, and raise you with cooking unsupervised.

I saw The Mission live in 2000. I saw The Damned the same year. They were...ok, i guess.

I have a tattoo on my left shoulder which is the eye thing off the front of "Vision Thing". Funnily enough, dh has the same tattoo, on his right shoulder, got the same year, but 4 years before we met each other. He got it cause of it's mystical properties, or some such bollox.

<<rambles>>

No piercings, I am afraid....

However, I do have photos from 1983, in which I imagined myself something akin to Ian McCullough, with perhaps a touch of Ian Astbury from the Cult....

However, I simply look like a spotty teen with a very long fringe....

Born in 82 Alestorm?? I SAW Pete Murphy play that year.....

Am so old.....

I saw the "Jesus and Mary Chain" circa 1990.Does this give me goth credentials?

Splitter!

The Sisters of Mercy are still going you know. They're very very crap these days, but there's no need to have gone retiring on us.

RG can you explain the NHS pension scheme to me?I would be most grateful.I recently got a letter about nhs pension choices and am totally confuzled!Today on pm I heard some scary bod talkingabout altering the already altered pension scheme and making it non final year pension.Doubly scary as ptworker through enforced circs.

Do you still have the indentations where your noserings or other sumsuch stuff went?

I always enjoy spotting the nose ring thing on very respectable people...its like, I know what you used to get up to! Ha!

Bastards.

I was 4 in 1986. Used to live round the corner from Alan Moore and hang out with Pete Murphy's nephew though - does that make me a goth?

I got called an Emu the other day - whatever one of those is! The mind boggles, I must say...

....I shall consider all applications for sweatshop work on merit. Previous experience sewing Nike trainers in Mumbai an advantage.

...Alestorm, I am retired from Gothdom since about 1986. Sadly, the NHS pension scheme, though generous, fails to recognise this in its munificence...

Do people judge about breastfeeding and co-sleeping here? I thought it was banned to do it out loud?

MrG - i'm sure you've been asked this before, but are you retired, and a goth, or retired from being a goth?

I could get your judging pants shaking

for weeks

fruit shoots
sweets
too much telly
lack of bathing
shouting
swearing (me, not them)
I smoke and drink
I co sleep and still bf in the night my 2.3 year old
I have no paint, felt tips in the house
but my kids are sociable, friendly, polite, clever, achieving kids who I love more than anything

judge away

I do judge people quietly
we all do

Goth, can I sign ds1 up for a weeks trial? he is 10 and quite strong so can lift n carry oh but he does like to argue

....Lord Of The Flies, there is a good idea.

<checks DVD collection, notes shameful absence and resolves to correct>

You seem to have an uncanny knowledge of things here at Goth Towers, Madame Defarge.

The twin urchins, for example, spent a portion of this evening watching Terry Gilliam's Brazil......

<sadly, this is true>

LOL at Chavsda

well, I would consider expanding your business empire and think about the Goth Towers School Route. It could all be very Summerhill, and by, ah,empowering the children to make their own decisions, you need never get involved!

Is there a discount code for MNers?

...it is indeed a theme park, Cornsilk!

The latest ride is known as "clearing the shit out of the garage'.

All children who join in will get first dibs at working in the sweatshop I have long envisaged establishing there, making ludicrously cheap clothing for George at CHAVSDA....

Goth Towers, the darker, sister school to MN Towers, where Lord of the Flies is played to the nursery lot as part of the SEAL agenda.

Can we send our children to Goth Towers? Is it a theme park?

Oh yeah - and ds also calls my cigarettes "Mama's peace and bog off," as when he sees me take a cigarette out, I say, "I want 5 minutes peace, now bog off!"

<<awaits flaming>>

You should rightly be judged by all of MN. But you have the charm to get away with it < fecker >

to be honest, I think you are mollycoddling your dcs. My ds sleeps in the cellar and is fed a diet of old cat food and haribos. Its true I do accompany him to school, but let him walk past it on his own on the way to the factory. The foreman says he has the nimblest fingers ever!

PS - I frequently leave ds (2) unsupervised in the garden. He now refuses to play on his slide - I suspect that he may have had a tumble from it at some point, but actually, I have no fucking clue as half the time - I'm not watching!! Judge meeeeeeee!!

....oh, and I let the twins take their DS Lites to bed, and then wonder why they don't immediately go to sleep on a blazingly sunny evening at 7.30.

The reason for this choice? See Helmets in the OP....

haha too funny.

err.. except the bit about Mrs Goth.

Witty, pithy amusing thread. On the whole.

You make me laugh.

And I agree with you.. after all, I started a most enlightening debate last week on why my child doesn't wear a cycle helmet.

I do heart you MrG. You make me smile every time you post!

I suspect i would probably make MN judge all the time. In fact, my friend told me that a friend of hers had seen me in town and i "didn't look like I was coping very well at all." ( this may have been the time I was dragging ds out of Waterstones by the arm)

Yeah. Fuck you. And the horse you rode in on!

Ahh Mr Goth, your turn of phrase does bring a smile to my face.
And as such I shall refuse to judge you.
<EBM sets up deckchair and sits back with a tinny to watch the judgers roll along>

great thread RG

if truths be known, i bet we could all provide judge worthy fodder

sorry about mrs RG

lol .I could keep MN judging for months

....look no further!

We here at Goth Towers will provide all the material you need.

Here are a few greatest hits;

Helmets The twin urchins (8) cycle a mile to school daily along path and cycle track sans said devices. Not because I have read and digested all the research on the matter, and come to a reasoned conclusion, but because I cannot be arsed with the argument any more.

Trampolines We have a large trampoline. It has no net <horrors> I have also elected to largely ignore the safety advice that came with the trampoline, that may be reduced to this precis: (1) stand, alone, on 'x' in centre. (2) only do so if you are an adult (3) only do this if you are an exceptionally light adult (4) For fucks sake don't bounce.

Lack Of Adult Supervision I frequently leave the larger urchins (10 and 12) unaccompanied for up to an hour. Not to do so would make simple things very difficult indeed. Sometimes I will leave all four when the younger two are abed for essential trips to the local emporium. Such as the essential trip earlier to buy the wine that is fuelling this post.

(it may further interest the Health and Safety freaks to learn that I am an A and E Charge Nurse. So I should know better)

...there are many, many more that would garner opprobrium here. I've left out the best stuff.

Why this post? I was just remembering a family holiday in 2006, a Eurocamp in Brittany. I recall the feral urchin befriending two boys of similar age, who were there with their Dad (their Mum had recently died). They were perfectly pleasant boys, but Mrs Goth and I were shocked at the astonishing amount of latitude they were given. They were going to Eurodisney afterwards....

To my eternal shame, I recall uttering the words 'life insurance cash being spent, methinks'. I wasn't to know that Mrs Goth would snuff it 6 weeks later, but am still paying penance.....