I regularly buy from a number of local charity shops they all allow me to return items that dont fit as long as I haven't taken off their tags and I have a receipt.

Why can't she return it to the shop and get her money back that way.

If she has take tags off or binned receipt then tough on her.

YANBU She just wants her money back but can't be arsed to go back to the shop !

You could put the clothes in a charity shop if she always replies to your freecycling stuff or tell her someone else already asked for it on freecycle.

This just goes to show how short-sighted tight/ungenerous people can be. Her tightness in asking you for £3 means that she will lose a lot more than £3 in the long run.

YANBU.

YANBU, some people are very greedy and are all about taking as much as they can get.

I am actually quite that she has asked you for the money TBH, she is very tight.
I wouldn't give her anything again.

YANBU. ask her if you can pay her in installments. 10 pence a week till christmas.

I would be inclined to change my freecycle details, as she will know that the current one is you and expect first refusal?

But I can be a bit of a chicken

YANBU

Some people just have different ways of ding things, sounds a bit like SIL!

YANBU
When 2 work colleagues gave me clothes for my dd I bought them both flowers.
I don't think I would pass anything else onto her tbh!

YANBU

you must be living near my sister - this sounds like something she'd do and feel justified in doing so - there can't be two people like this can there

What I don't get is people are ALWAYS giving her stuff (and not asking for money) despite the fact she might sell it on or simply keep it in storage just so she doesn't have to hand it to someone else AND she's married to a squillionaire

act all innocent and say you never got her emails when she replies to your freecycle posts - get her emails sent straight to your 'junk mail' box

this time reply and say 'actually, dont worry about the dress, I'm a bit short on money this week' and let her feel bad for a bit!

I just know that I will be seething now every time she replies to my offers on freecycle - she always does as well, every time.

I do hate feeling so petty and hope I get over it soon, after the initial ggggrrrrrr factor has faded. It shouldn't matter in the big scheme of things - life is such that I'm sure her tightness will bite her on the arse in some way in the future.

Christ, that's awful. Unless she is in financial difficulties, that just isn't on. Even if you don't expect anything in return, you deserve at least a bit of common courtesy to show that she remembers how kind you've been to her. If I'd been receiving so much, over such a long period of time, I'd have been delighted that the opportunity to give something back had finally cropped up. In fact, I'd have been in there with a bunch of flowers or home-made jam months ago. It isn't the monetary value that's the point here - it's a complete lack of good manners.

She's a right meanie. Never give her anything ever again.

God, I can't bear tight people.
It turns me right off.

snort at your first post. the cheek!

Wahwah she has no shame.

I was unable to help myself bitching about mentioning it to a mutual friend earlier who told me that when tight woman has her DS to play, she asks for the money back if she has bought him any sweets/ice cream/chips

I disagree. Give her the money and tell her you're so sorry that she's so hard up. Ask if she needs anything else. That should bloody well shame her.

This is the most harmonious AIBU I have ever started

agree with everyone.

dont have it and dont give to her again

she sounds like a cheeky cow, id decline offer, and make sure i gave all the lovely clothes to charity in future - where they will be appreciated!
she is taking the P.

Just tell her that you are a single mum and can't afford £3, that might make her feel a bit guilty, especially as she has been getting freebies from you

I have a friend like that (and she is rolling in dough). I looked after her son, picked both him and her daughter up at short notice, have given them tea, bought them ice-creams etc from the shop on numerous occasions. She laminated a sheet of letters for my ds and I thought she was being kind and it was a sort of thank you thing, but no she "charged" me £1.50. I handed it over, kind of stunned.

it rankles because you'd not do the same.
Yes OK, she had just paid for it, but you can't expect to be able to sell unwanted things for the same as you paid for them - that's why ebay things are cheaper than in the shops! If the dress had been £50 and for some reason she'd have been unable to take it back I could have sort of seen the point, but £3! It's obviously not that much money to her - if it had been she'd have tried it on then and there or made sure she could take it back.

I haven't said anything yet, I think I will politely decline the offer though.

Thing is I would have offered her the money for it, so I don't know why it rankles so much that she asked.

YANBU it would never have crossed my mind to ask for money in these circumstances. I brought DD a beautiful Monsoon dress in Oxfam last week. It was £2 but sadly it was a bit small on her so I passed it on to her friend who is built on a tiny scale. I certainly didn't ask for £2.

On the other hand, I passed on her ballet cardigan to another friend as she'd grown out of it after only a few weeks and her friend didn't have one. Her mum insisted on paying half the cost of her next cardigan but I didn't ask for it and felt bad taking it. She actually wanted to give me the money for a brand new one but I wouldn't let her.

you sound kind.she sounds like shes taking the piss.

2 of my friends give me clothes for dd-theyre dd's are same age but alot bigger than my dd,i always offer something but they never accept and i also feel bad that i cant pass anything to their dd's so i buy nice xmas and birthday presents for them instead.

Oh and next time you hand over a bag of clothes tell her that month's 10p is at the bottom.

What did you say to her text btw? Are you still planning to try it on?
Why not agree to buy it and then ask if you can pay in installments of 10p a month for the next 2.5 years?

YANBU. I think she is being tight. You sound like a lovely giving person.

I knew a woman who would ask to take home any leftovers from the plate she took to a party. Some people are just verrrrrry frugal with their money - they're usually the ones with more money than anyone

I'd say they are a bit better off than me - she works p/t and her and her dp run two cars, and I'm a single parent currently not working. They aren't rich by any standards but certainly not struggling to the degree she often makes out.

She is nice btw and I do get on well with her and enjoy her company, but I like to feel that it works both ways with friends and I suspect it never will with her.

YANBU

She is indeed taking the piss

YANBU and she is being extremely tight.

If she sent it as a text, surely she must have mistakenly left the wink off the end? Surely? Otherwise, IMO, she's insulting your usual generousity.

This reminds me of the thread a while back where someone wanted paying for passing on a spare tampax!

YANBU at all ! I actually cannot believe how stingy she is.

We are having a bit of a rough time financially , and I just couldn't bring myself to ask for money. I would just happily give you the dress , especially as you have been so generous.

Don't accept the dress , unless you really like it , and don't bother giving her any more clothes.

hmmmm, my initial reaction was that YANBU, but when i think about it, its probably because she has only just paid for the item. I personally wouldn't ask for the money, but it would stick in my gullet that i had paid £3 for something that was no good to me.

In the same vein, i just bought some shorts for my DP in the charity shop. They were £4.50. I asked the woman if i could bring them back if they didn't fit (they might be a bit big). She said ok, but looked very disapproving. I spend quite a bit of money in that shopa nd £4.50 is actually quite a lot to us at the moment. If they were a couple of quid i could suck it up, but i can't afford to waste £4.50 for something that doesn't fit. To compound my shame, DD asked for a cuddly toy, to which i said, of course you can darling. Only to recoil in horror when i saw the ticket £2 - for a toy that was obviously some sort of promotional give away. I was and said, ooh dear £2, i'm not so sure. Woman behind the shop said, OK dear give me £1 - i was like OK, but the thing wasn't worth 50p. The woman must have thought i was a right tight wad, but i would have happily paid £2 if i thought it was worth it. Sorry, bit of a hijack.

Is there any chance she is very hard up and has pegged you as someone who can help her out whether with second hand clothes or a bit of extra cash?

You have been generous in giving her things - does she have a similar lifestyle to you so you you think she's not that well off and could be struggling?

YANBU, she is being shockingly rude by asking for money!

I was just thinking that Poledra - where is the voice of dissent?

Funny thing is I actually wasn't sure if I was BU

YANBU - definitely tight! (A unanimous AIBU? Shurely not! ).

Sounds like she is totally clueless.

Personally, I was refuse the offer and never give her anything again!

YANBU - it is very tight of her, she bought it in a charity shop fgs, if I were her I'd probably have just donated it back not tried to sell it to my friends.

Ew, embarassingly tight. YANBU!

YANBU

I can remember one of my really close friends charging me £20 for 2 kittens once! I sort of handed over the money like this

Actually this reminds me of when my sister was a student, one of her houses mates would ask her if she wanted her remaining frozen food when she was going home at the end of term and if she said yes please the friend would turn around and say ok thats 20p for half a bag of peas and 50p for two fishfingers!

Tell her you aren't that interested and don't give her anything else. YANBU - she is being tight.

Ungrateful cow.

Don't give her anything more!

That's very mean. Either you have the sort of friendship wher you freely give each other stuff that's no use to you or you don't.

Oh good I am not being irrationally grumpy then (happens )

I could've sold all the stuff I pass on but chose not to as I'd rather give it to people who can make use of it.

Last bloomin' time for her though.

A bit tight??

No, it's not a bit tight.

It's a lot tight.

I hate this sort of petty mean stuff. Don't giver her another thing- just donate it to charity or freecycle it..

I really really don't expect anything for it, not at all. I have a small house and only one DD, so when she grows out of stuff I am happy to send it to where it will be used.

I just thought that was a bit

I think she sounds tight.
YANBU

I think if you regularly give her things (without expecting things in return) then she is being a bit tight and YANBU.

I know a woman who lives locally to me - she is a friend of friends, and she has a DD a bit younger than my DD. We get on quite well, I see her socially and the DDs like playing together. I pass a lot of DD's outgrown clothes and shoes onto her - probably over £100 worth in the last couple of years. Last week I gave her a pair of girl's Doc Marten summer shoes and a bag of summer clothes.

We are both on the local freecycle and so she has a lot of things I give away on there too - toys, women's clothes, household stuff etc, and last year I gave her a violin for her older child to learn on.

Anyway today I had a text from her to say she had bought a dress in Oxfam but decided it didn't suit her and would I like to try it on me. So I said yes please, and got a message back saying it would be £3.

AIBU to think thats a bit bloody tight? Ok, I don't give people things because I expect things in return but tbh I feel like handing her a bag of DD's clothes next time I see her and then telling her they will cost her a tenner.