I know this is the end of the thread and what am about to say is a complete hijack of it. But having read it -and all the comments about Mexico being "swine-flu - land" my blood is boiling. And yes I know I am being very very U here. But still national pride is national pride, after all.

FGS. We (I live here) had swine flu in April and May. We all took extreme measures to contain it (I was quarentined in my home for a month seeing as I am both pregnant and diabetic. By a decree; meaning that my work couldn't sack me for not showing up). It is more or less under control, ie. in the sense that only one state -out of 32- has still any cases. This is the state of Chiapas. Not somewhere on the "beach holiday trail". There are a team of medical specialists there now trying to help the state resolve this. Where I live, in the North, we have not had one single case. In my parents town in the the NW of England and my sister's in Scotland, there have been at least 5 or 6 cases.

So, all in all, you are much likelier to catch swine flu in the UK than in Mexico.

Well done for Some Guy for going. All this media hysteria about Mexico (when in fact it started in the US and was only detected first in Mexico) has been extremely detrimental to all of us in all areas. This is why it is really cheap to go. So please do. You'll have a great time. Mexico is fabulous.

Sorry about the rant and the hijack. It just gets my goat so much.

And no, I don't work for the Mexican tourist board, altough after rereading this, I'm thinking of giving them a ring to offer my services

I like the look of the last place. Seems a bit more intimate.

We stayed here:

www.thomson.co.uk/destinations/caribbean/mexico/mexico-caribbean-coast/playacar/hotels/clubhotel-riu -tequila.html - not bad, AI buffets get boring though
www.thomson.co.uk/destinations/caribbean/mexico/mexico-caribbean-coast/tulum/hotels/dreams-tulum-res ort-and-spa.html - too many Americans all clutching wads of dollar bills
www.mayaland.com/mayaland.php - superb location, room rather dated but it contributed somewhat to the 1920s explorer vibe
and here:
www.holboxdream.com/holboxdream-english.html - nicely decorated rooms with conch shell shower (tended to spray the water everywhere, but amusing for a few days on holidays), hammock, small pool and a/c

DD was most impressed with the 'fish-fish' (dolphins, turtles, sting rays (I think? they swam together in a group of about 50 in a perfect triangle shape), manta rays, whale sharks) and the 'tweet-tweets' (we went on a boat trip to a lagoon with tens of thousands of flamingos).

Hope you all had a good holiday. Where did you stay in the end?

Looks like we dodged the swine flu by staying out of the UK.

Oh how amusing the swine flu comments that accompanied our departure were, when on our return, reading the airline-supplied Daily Mail, we found that Britain is in the grip of an uncontrolled swine flu epidemic (rules which apply to developing countries re safety in respect of terrorism, swine flu, etc., don't apply when something's affecting the UK).

Bigger danger was DVT, or as unfortunately happened to the woman in non-sensible heels in front of us, falling down the airplane steps (she died in hospital two days later).

Quattro....Copenhagen to Gdans than back to sweden/finland, etc...
Gdansk, I assume the one in poland...if so...it is not exactly the same direction as copenhagen/sweden/finland...is it ????????????

No childcare in Mexico?
Que?

I think if I had a 2 year old I would be objecting to going to Mexico on the grounds there is no childcare there, otherwise it sounds a fine idea. However I do concede that some people like their children and want to spend time with them.

arf.

oh Pan, how very "Europeanly correct" of you - you know I meant miles!

hmm thumbwitch....about 10 metres from Calais...that'll be Calais then......??

Is she home yet?

lol Swedes - I don't think so, he seemed remarkably French!
but he did thaw a tad when I managed to order everything in French.

Thumbwitch - He was probably Polish and doing his best in French.

I think the French harvester/grill type places are infinitely worse than British equivalents (based on the HUGE sample of 1 ) - we went to one in France a couple of years ago, a seafood version (not Buffalo Grill) and I had the mixed seafood platter. Well. Some of it was still moving, some of it had been dead so long it had its own extra lifeforms. It was revolting. NOT what one expects from a French "restaurant" but I have learnt my lesson - never again.

Went to another seafood restaurant in a village about 10m from Calais, a nice place, fairly upmarket without being post - asked the waiter "Parlez-vous Anglais?" "Non, pas du tout" he replied smugly. Just as well I could remember school French then, wasn't it? Again, given the proximity to Calais, you'd think he might have picked up a smattering of English to increase his custom?

I have an almost 2 year old. I'd pay much more than £160 not to have to go to Mexico on holiday. Nothing to do with swine flu.

In any case, I think it's lovely she's loyal and reliable to her friends. Husbands come and go but good friends are hard to come by.

What a funny thread.

I particularly like StarBear's emerging novel. If I could add one minor amendment to her plot:

Dolly Parton and her bfanjo band

I had fond memories of Buffalo Grill, having been subjected to trips to France as a teenager and finding that, absent local knowledge, the average French restaurant is at least as bad (and perhaps worse) than the typical British ones.

Hence the trip back, for nostalgia's sake.

Perhaps my tastebuds have been spoilt by DW's habit of spending £50 on lunch for random semi-strangers, but the Buffalo Grill sadly wasn't as I remembered it.

Why oh why do people get so arsey on MN? People just take things the wrong way on here. It's the same in RL too.

I regularly get called posh. At work people say let X deal with it - she's posh. Can you imagine the guffaw if I said 'Oh Y is common, let her deal with it.'

and hi hf!!

- also, Buffalo Grill is the pits, according to Ms Pan - I wanted to stop at one, and she just gave a nice Gallic shrug......such non-verbalers....

Ms Pan is French, so can you please keep ones generalisations to oneself? Having rellies doesn't bestow any rights to insult.

<< says PAn getting up his own arse..

Well the French are up their own arses after all. And yes I can say that as I have a French BIL and SIL.

yes they pretended not to understand 'butter', requested in English.

And then when DW ordered her main course (ribs, I think) they pretended, not only not to understand, but also that as DW had not been speaking French, they refused to acknowledge she'd said anything at all, and came back twenty minutes later with food for DS and I, but nothing for DW, as if she would happily sit there watching us all eat.

Lovely to see you Pan! Are you well? You will be pleased to know I have a housekeeper courtesy of the Govt.

French people tend to over butterise hf - I read that it was Mrs Someguy they were unkeen on as she ordered in English.

Oh why do the French hate butter? I post on tripadvisor too - I love the way the Americans hate the hotels some people love - and vice versa!

Nope, the place we stayed in was owned by a supercilious Frenchman.

DW doesn't like the French. Partly based on that, and partly because of our trip to the Buffalo Grill in Calais (chain American-themed steakhouse) where she ordered in English (which is her second/third language) and they pretened not to understand her and ended up not bringing her any food.

And when she asked for butter they pretended not to understand that as well, I had to say 'beurre'.

She wouldn't have minded if she'd been buying onions off some gnarled old man, but this was a restaurant in Calais essentially aimed at les rosbif.

Not Riad Farnatchi? I thought it was lovely.

I have posted several reviews on tripadvisor. I reviewed the Riad we stayed in Marrakech twice it was so bad.

Oh that's good. My DS hasn't slept for more than three or four hours without waking in two years and that's when he's in a familiar environment. Please ignore me, I'm just and unfamiliar with the (to me) miraculous sleeping baby / toddler.

If you get up early and there is lots of activity there's a good chance that your DD will have a nap on the morning flight anyway. Enjoy, SG

I love trip advisor - do you post reviews?

My DW is 9 months older than me.

Is your dw very young?

I bet you forget your knickers though.

Planning is a nightmare. First I scout out cheap flights on skyscanner. Then I work out where to stay, which involves many hours on tripadvisor, finding nice hotels that don't turn out to be 15 miles from anywhere and are not run by Basil Fawlty.

Then I work out where to go, which involves further hours printing restaurant addresses, names of attractions, maps.

We are going to Holland next month because DW has a get together. Not doing any planning for that, just going to fly there, go to get-together, and then come back. Although DW wants me to ask my parents to look after the DCs so that we can spend a couple of nights in Amsterdam going out to clubs and smoking dope, or whatever it is you do in Amsterdam. The get together is many miles from Amsterdam and was billed as a family thing in a youth hostel-type place, but it appears other people going are leaving DCs behind, so DW doesn't want to be left out.

Well the return journey is actually better. Outbound journey is at 10:35am, and DD will quite possibly be awake for the entire flight.

Return flight is more reasonable, 17:05, hopefully she will sleep through most of it.

erm.

waves hand in the air.

If you guys have quite finnished slagging of SomeGuys employment status and time on mumsnet, I would just like to add that it takes me no more than 30 minutes to pack for a family of 4 to go on holiday to whereever. Wheter we are camping or flying, or driving out on a weekend break. Packing is no big deal. It has taken me 3 weeks to look at flight and holiday options this year.

I think we are doing the following:

dh flies to Munich on tuesday, buys campervan. Me and kids fly to Copenhagen on Friday, joins dh who will have puchased camper and driven to copenhagen. We go to Legoland. We drive to Gdansk to hook up with MIL. We drive up Sweden, Finland, and take a detour to the Northcape before we head home.
PLANNING can be harder than packing.

Sorrry.
as you were.

I know the thread has moved on and very amusing it is thanks SG, but a 10-hour flight with toddler would be a deal-breaker for me. I'd be dreading the return journey the whole time and I should know, I have to trek to the frozen wastelands of Birmingham twice a year from the S.E

Unless you were thinking of travelling with DC sedated / with au pair / on another flight that is.

You see the people who stay in Banyan Tree resorts and such like have (in general) more money than sense. Chucking down a $50 note is probably the equivalent of 50p to most of us.

See this is why Americans shouldn't be allowed on holiday (from a hotel review, by an American):

"Rafa will bring you out on a small Cat just past the reef (no charge) but please tip well. My husband caught the biggest fish of his life (about 35 pounds) and he had a blast. Rafa is an amazing guy and one of the nicest people you will ever meet. He will help you with kayaks and snorkeling gear also. They do not charge for any of this but I would encourage tipping these people well as they are extremely generous and kind.

The golf carts work nicely although I am sure during high season you can end up waiting for them...This is why there needs to be bikes! We tipped every time we rode but I can tell they do not expect it...again the charm of good service."

Gah, just stop it! You are paying a fortune for the hotel, the golf buggy to the beach is already in the price. STOP.

I said earlier you DW should calm down!

I hadn't posted on it for a whole four hours. I'm supposed to be babysitting now, while dw goes out drinking. DW did say we would get a babysitter but has decided just to leave it to me instead.

Dont' get me started on tipping. I'd rather die of dehydtration than tip. Do you get notified whenever someone post on this thread, SomeGuy, or are you glued to your PC or what?

Well it's not just the cost of the room. We could do 3 nights there (comes with free 90 minute massage), which wouldn't be too bad, but then there'd be all the other costs. I'd seriously resent paying $25 for a drink or whatever ungodly amounts they charge.

And the fact that there'd be Americans tossing tips around for doing pretty much anything. Gah, tipping, I hates it.

If you can affor £50 on meat for one meal, you can aford the Banyan Tree place for at least one week.

That seems pretty damn reasonable. If you have the cash.

Ooh, I just got a reply from that hotel that poshtottie recommended.

Can stay here:

www.banyantree.com/mayakoba/villas/spa_pool_villa.html

at 80% off rack rates. That is still $400/night, plus taxes, mind.

322 square metres is twice the size of my house though.

not the hostess.

Crikey- nearly 200p osts on this topic..

haven't time to read them all but seems a no-brainer really- she is the hostess, so why is it such a big deal to miss a lunch which is a regular meeting anyway?

If the money is the only factor for you- and youc an afford another £160 no problem, then nmaybe you should just accept that she is going to go to the lunch?

It does seem atad selfish of her though to waste £160 for the sake of a meeting with regular friends.

Why are you going to Mexico? You'll get swine flu

Well Dollywood isn't really the purpose of the visit. There's also Hillbilly Golf! gatlinburg-attractions.com/hillbilly_golf_.html.

Wow! I think my Dh would be too embarrassed to tell his friends at his weekly pub quiz that he went to Dollywood. Look for the thread around November when I've book it and he finds a pub lunch he needs to go to on a Monday! Strangely I think its a really great idea I've only been to the Canadian Rockies in Summer. Christmas must be great. To tell you the truth Canada can be a bit boring I think Dollywood is better. Should I book it and lie to him?

I fancy an American Christmas, and Dollywood is open then, 15 million tacky lights, tacky shows, what could be better?

www.dollywood.com/mini-section/default.aspx?id=115

Heavens above - not sexual thoughts - just a vision, you numpty.

Someguy Now you've said she is Asian I've got to go away and do some writing. I had the character all written out if she was Brazilian, Russian or Polish. Okay I'm going to go for Singaporean (Asia is a big place) It doesn't have to be true. Yep! got her now very groomed black bobbed hair,skinny and can eat anything and not put on weight. Never wears a bikini because that would be going too far. Will sort out her man like her Mum did for for her dad. BUT in return he has to let her spend,spend,spend. Wants to be as far away from poverty as possible. So in her head she thinks her friends will judge her if she doesn't have the best. Hospitality is of great importance as it has been for generations in her family. Children health really,really important remember the far, far away from poverty and illness as possible. AM I close. Oh! heck I'm putting it the book anyway! Oh my ds is nagging me to get some work done. Who is the Dolly Parton fan you or her?

<methinks someone's dh doesn't pay them enough attention>

I am disappointed in you. I had visions of you in your pinny seasoning a leg of lamb whilst reading Grazia.

Ah I see, it comes from Grazia:

www.whitbread.co.uk/media.cfm?id=press_cuttings&view=12109

Not on my reading list sadly. I'm obviously not 'with it' enough.

Or perhaps the influence of the mighty Grazia is waning, cos I couldn't find any other reference to it. Looks like the author was moonlighting from the FT anyway. www.linkedin.com/in/jonathaneley

> Press cuttings Shortcut to Accessibility page - (access key = 0) Skip to content - (access key ... on the lot of SUGs, smug unemployed guys, mentions how the writer and other ...

It's not the only one on Yahoo.

The term you were looking for btw, is 'funemployed'

www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-funemployment4-2009jun04,0,7581684.story

funemployed, noun:

"The state of being without a job, yet having lots of time to enjoy fun activities during otherwise normal working hours.

'Hermina is funemployed, so after her workout on Wednesday morning, she went down to the beach and joined her other laid-off friends for a barbecue with margaritas and horseshoes.' "

urbandictionary is not really evidence of a term's currency. Anybody can add definition for anything. I could go and define 'hf128219' as 'one who insists that urbandictionary entries are fact'.

Note that the only google hit for 'smug unemployed guy' is this self same thread: www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&safe=off&num=100&q=%22Smug+Unemployed+Guy%22&meta=

It's best not to use acronyms that nobody else uses.

Why have people got their knickers in a twist about unemployment/employment in this instance?

fucking HELL!

what the shit has his employment status got to do with it?

he is self employed - i am assuming jouno type who reads high brow literature. Writes the odd 'bryson' esq piece for the telegraph.

I called him a SUG. Some people are so out of touch with today's terms.

Here is the definition from urbandictionary.com

SUG - Smug Unemployed Guy, use in the same context you would use terms like yuppie, nymbie etc

'SUG is used to define someone who is happily unemployed and infact "smug" at the thought that they have a very comfortable life whilst not working. Quite likely to grow food in the garden and keep chickens.

Maybe claim to be self employed but never actually do any work, to "smug" to work.'

i am judging him and he sounds like a twat.

Well then why use it at all? You are obviously using it to judge him.

Eh, I did not use the word unemployed as an insult. That must be your interpretation.

"Agree on security. Was in Bali after bombings, South Thailand when it was recommended not to go, Sri Lanka just before mortar attacks on airport....

And oh yes, on the tube when the train in front was blown up."

Good grief, SomeGuy, you're a travelling liability. No wonder your 'wife' doesn't want to sit on a plane with you...

(Actually, I thought SomeGuy was Abetadad?)

No more than I know you are a dear!

Why are you using the word "unemployed" as an insult? I think a lot of women on here are unemployed,oh hold on, wait a minute we are not unemployed we are SAHP just like SomeGuy could be, and even if he's not unless you are his boss I would really take your pissy hat off.

Do you know he is a man?

Farting fanny: www.funideas.com/Product.aspx?pid=34&catid=25

Why hf dear, do the men around you have fannys generally?

Will you join them to eat?

I do have a fanny. I am sitting on it. Or is that a banned Americanism?

hf: DW is cooking for her friends who are coming at 4pm.

I did some fried noodles for lunch for us. Am busy watching tennis and have just sent an email. A hard day's work.

I do most of the cooking actually.

Do you actually know he doesn't have a fanny? Have you seen him naked?

The understanding of the word if someone out of work, but able to work.

The dictionary definition is someone or something not put to use.

I think lunch was first and foremost in her mind, the dr's appointment was only remembered later as ammo.

Agree on security. Was in Bali after bombings, South Thailand when it was recommended not to go, Sri Lanka just before mortar attacks on airport.

And Egypt last Christmas, when security was very good indeed.

And oh yes, on the tube when the train in front was blown up.

We get very high and mighty about problems in other countries, 'don't travel', etc., but when it happens here, it's business as usual.

The Mexicans must have lost billions with their reaction to the swine flu, international travel warnings, etc., we OTOH are going to have 100,000 H1N1 cases/day soon, and nobody's batting an eyelid.

And people thought that abetadad was a MN construct!

He doesn't have a fanny.

Anyway I can judge if I want to, he seems to be fannying around a lot on here whilst his dw does the cooking and packing.

hfc...might be wrong here...but unemployed usually means a person that otherwise should be employed/seeking employment...someone not needing to work for a living is not really classed as unemployed...are they...might got it wrong of course....

Sweetie pie.

OK then, deary.

Yes dear.

Well you don't have to work to have money, do you? You could be a lotto winner, living off royalties, inheritance. Bla bla bla.

Unemployed means people who do not work.

And don't call me dear.

Hey, if he's self-employed and it's not a complete disaster if DW spends £50 on meat then I think he must be working just about hard enough

YANBU

your dw is mad to waste £160 just so she can have lunch with her friends that she sees every month

and how vain is she to thinks if SHE doesnt turn up, the other 4 wont go

agree mexico is prob a good place to go now,and def cheap

we went to egypt a week after the bombings a few years ago - booked months ago and was given the choice to go elsewhere, but we didnt want to

we were in the next resort, if anything the secruity was even more tight than normal - all lorrys/bus's were stopped at hotels gates and checked the underneath with mirrors etc

hope the doctors appoitnment isnt too serious, and why didnt she mention that instead of the lunch

happy holidays

lol rhubs...or maybe scrounging undesirable Golddiggers

Never mind dear, you just catch up when you can.

Rhubard - don't quite get your bit about being a slow reader.

She probably thinks they are Scrounging Undesirable Geeks!

also, erm, hfc...considering the amount of money Someguy and family have to spend....how could he be unemployed?????????

and to DW of course

indeed...I am sure many people (me included) theoretically have better things/more important things/more pressing things than being on mumsnet, doesn't stop us

Yes I am self-employed, I am accountable only to myself.

hf128219 - are you a slow reader?

Come to think of it, what are you doing on Mumsnet? Or any of us? What gives you the right to question or judge anyone just for being on Mumsnet?

It's a 'Smug Unemployed Guy'

SomeGuy - I hope you are self-employed as otherwise you deserve the sack!

Standard Useless Guy?

or would that be Smugly Guy

Smug Ugly Guy ???

Swine Umbrage Great!

Stitched Up Gopher?

I have no idea what a SUG is?

Wots a SUG?

I 'work' from home, LS.

Re the luggage, they are 35 litres, 4 of those is 140 litres.

We've quite often gone on holiday with two large rucksacks, they are I think 70 litres each.

we went to the States last year for 19 days taking 2x cabin baggae suitcases and 2xtrunkis.

it is possible (we being me, dh, dd1 (then 3.5) and dd2 (then 14 months))

we took 4x changes of clothes for everyone, and did washing freguently.

we are off Oz this year and will take same amount of luggage.

what on Earth do people need tha tthey have to take huge suitcases?

I tend to do both the booking AND the packing. He has booked online before, but he panics, asks a million questions and drives me nuts, so it's easier for me to do it.

As for the packing, if I let him do the kids they'd have no underwear and all scruffy, inappropriate clothes (i.e. jumpers for France in July). He packs 10mins before we are due to leave. I then have to add on another 10mins for him to get in the car, then get out to get something, get in the car, then get out to get something else, then get in the car, then get out to............................

Well I did ask if he was a SUG. He never answered. I have never packed for my dh in my life.

lynette. you and me both ...there would be noooooooooo way that a little suitcase like that would do me or my Kids for a 2 week holiday....

And how come you are on Mumsnet all day?

But surely your 2 DC's would need a load of stuff for 2 weeks, as well as your DW....or am I just a chronic over packer?

why not? I book the holiday, she does the packing. She's better at it than me.

those are tiny ....you can not expect your wife to only have one of those....no way...now, that is where I would draw the line ...now you are being unreasonable

SomeGuy - I think you should change your name to SmugGuy. You really let your wife do your packing?

4 of these: www.argos.co.uk/static/Product/partNumber/2861962/c_1/1%7Ccategory_root%7CSports+and+leisure%7C12108 128/c_2/2%7Ccat_12108128%7CLuggage%7C12108237/c_3/3%7Ccat_12108237%7CSuitcases%7C12108242.htm

no, DS finished school today.

It wouldn't be £90, one suitcase would be £30.

There is no way she is going to go along with no suitcases....you will need to fork out anohter £90. You can just take hand lugage if you like.

Are you taking your DC out of school?

2 pairs of underwear and one pair of shoes, what more do you need to go on holiday?

<<always has dw do all the packing>>

hmmmmmmmmmmmmm...you mihgt have a problem there someguy...

Errrr........

No suitcases. We're going to have to go to Argos to buy some of their £10 trolley cabin luggage (maximum possible size), cos they want £30 per person to check luggage in.

Can't imagine what it's going to be like fitting things into the overhead bins with everyone on the flight bringing hand luggage.

4 * 10kg should be enough for 4 people, right?

Your wife is being very unreasonable, book for Monday and tell her if she don't want to go on Monday she can spend two weeks at home instead

hmm...when you mentioned friends over from germany I thought for a minute she is german, and thought, is he married to my sister and than remembered she isn't married, lol...

hehe...moneywise, I quite like to be married to you ......
sigh...to have money, now wouldn't that be nice, sigh... someday, someday, someday [chanting a mantra emoticon]

Ask her if she needs any bacon to go with that.

<childish snigger>

Or put a bag of pork scratchings in her suitcase!

Yes LS, I need to forget it really. DW is making chili paste and wrapping fish in banana leaves, which look very tasty, will concentrate on eating those

And on the plus side the Wednesday flight lacks the outbound technical stop in Manchester, and as a result the flight leaves 1 hour 45 minutes later, so that means more time in bed. Which has to be worth something.

Sounds like you're just going to have to compromise over money issues.

Luckily I married a man who was more frugal than I. In some ways that's a bloody nightmare because if he feels as though he's been ripped off, he goes on and on and on and on and on. We can visit a pretty village and decide to stop for lunch, cue then a traipse around ALL of the pubs and cafés to find the cheapest one.

I'll often offer to pay for things just so that he doesn't have a public whinge about the price. Sometimes I cringe at what he says when he's handing money over!

So you know, your wife isn't all that bad.

You look at the packet of meat? Are you a SUG?

Ok, forget the affair thing. Her friends are improtant to her..you should be proud to have such who is so good to her friends. Mine would be lucky to get a sainsbury's pizza and some salad. Maybe that's why I dont' have many.......

I am quite frugal, I was brought up that way, she wasn't I guess. Though I will buy nicer things if they are worth it, IYSWIM. I do have a go at her about buying bottled water when she's out, tap water from home is free.

Ah, well there you go SomeGuy, pride and respect means a lot to her. Completely understandable in that case.

You could try suggesting that her friends would like her even if she didn't measure up to scratch sometimes. Get her to talk about things that they've done wrong, or times they've let people down and ask what the general reaction was. Hopefully she'll realise that she needs them more than they need her, and that no-one is searching her for imperfections.

of course I know the cost of meat, it's written on the packet

Braising steak runs to about £8/kg these days I think.

Actually stewing steak can make very good curry, flavour is in some respects proportional to toughness, if you cook tough meat for a long time it's usually very nice. Though cuts like brisket are better in that respect, and brisket is best for braising, chinese style, or noodle soup.

If you get braising steak for curry, you have to cook it for hours to get it edible. She probably didn't fancy doing that, and if you can afford rump steak then you'll get rump steak.

I'm pretty frugal and always go for the cheapest options, even if I had money I doubt I'd change. But this is the way your wife is, you must have known that when you met her. And I doubt very much she's having an affair.

Well she is cooking the lunch as I speak, so.....

She is Asian, they have a much stronger sense of 'face' than Westerners.

SomeGuy - I am impressed you know the cost of meat. But I would say Sirloin for curry, not Rump.

The affair thing had crossed my mind too....

I don't think it's any more bad form to mention that you have money, than it is to mention your DC is G&T....both can bring problems as well as joys.

SomeGuy - do you know these lunches actually exist? Could your dw be having an affair?

That sounds like a lot of curry, lol!

It sounds as though she values and treasures her friends very much. Where is she from?

Have her friends always been around her? Does she have any family over here or is it just her friends? Could she be treating her friends like an extended family perhaps?

She isn't spending money on herself, she's spending it on her friends. She obv likes entertaining and to be well thought of, that means a lot to her. So for us, it would seem crazy to put these people before a much cheaper holiday, but to her that is the sacrifice she is willing to pay.

Someguy where is your wife from? I need to get some over the top imagines (stereotypes)to write in my book. I'm sorry I'm going to write her up as a lady that lunches, I bet she looks fab. I think the trip to Dollywood will be part of the climax where Mrs Parton saves you! Mexico is just the catalyst.Oh! If I add an unexpected hurricane that could be fun! I might have a MN siren try and steal you away but then your wife comes to her senses...... that it! with the help of Dolly Parton and her banjo band!
I'm going to my aunt's for our summer hols in Spain in a village. I'll be helping her with housework and looking after her 86yrs old Mil. So I'm just having a housewife's day dream!

SomeGuy it's pretty bad form to flash the cash on here so much. You aren't doing your wife any great favours either, she sounds like a spoilt princess!

It wasn't my choice to spend £50. I did suggest she should use braising steak for curry rather than rump steak, because £11.50/kg is rather excessive for curry meat. We are supposed to be saving to buy a house at some point.

She does at least buy all her clothes from TK Maxx and Primark, and doesn't have any £600 handbags, unlike one of her acquaintances (who made a point of calling up and saying that she had just bought two such handbags but she didn't like one and would she like to buy one, but actually the point of the call was to show off about the fact she'd just spent £1200 on handbags).

I think SomeGuy is coming over all wrong...I think it's his wife who is spending all the money, and he's rolling his eyes over it.

£50 is my total weekly shopping budget (and thats if im feeling flush) your obviously not short of cash (and like letting people know it)

SomeGuy...I want to come and hang out with your DW...her lunches sound fab!

she's probably spent £160 already, her friend came over from Germany and asked her to drive her to London, she said no, but then she ended up going there anyway, god knows how much that cost, and now said friend had invited her friends and a random Spanish exboyfriend round to our house (WTF?), so DW has spent £50 on meat and fish for their lunch. And then she's going to be taxi service to take them to the club tonight.

No party for DD's birthday anyway, cos we'll be in Mexico, DS's birthday cost us about £300, so I guess that'll save some money

and am a bit at someone being embaressed by going on holiday to Mexico (swine-flu or not).....that is being completely spoiled and brattish...but, what has her "not being english" to do with her placing more importance on it?

Gosh, there is me be fecking over the blardy moon to go to Germany this summer (Ferry/car) to visit germany...we have not been on any proper holiday as a complete family nor to germany itself as a complete family ever....and ys is 5 this summer...so...to be precious about being offered such a great Holiday to such a fantstic destination, really is taking the Biccie..

Glad you've sorted it SomeGuy and booked the Wednesday flights - although I do think she IBU. Just limit her spending money when she gets there, cos it's already cost you £160 more than it needed to!

<note - tongue in cheek response>

I think your wife is being a bit spoilt.

However, I don't think you will get her to change her mind without major acrimony and I doubt it's worth it.

If I was you, though, I'd be irritated and it's tiresome when people are really hung up on what their mates think.

Yes:

"Emily became the strongest hurricane ever to form before August, breaking a record set by Hurricane Dennis just six days before. It was also the earliest Category 5 hurricane ever recorded in the Atlantic basin (beating Hurricane Allen's old record by nearly three weeks) and the only Category 5 hurricane ever recorded before August."

The 2005 hurricane season was worst ever (also had Katrina, Rita and Wilma).

YANBU to think that your wife is BU
That seems silly...if the lunch meet is important to the other people they will still meet up, and if not, than it is more important to her than to them, it seems...so...not worth wasting £160 for, imvho

I think Hurricane Emily was July

she took DS to school in the morning when she got back from London, and then I got up at 9:30am when the delivery man knocked on the door with DD's bike, which I collected. THen she went to bed till noon or so.

She doesn't do that very often, every couple of months really.

Hmmph, those hotels cost £500 and $960/night respectively. Will pass I think.

SomeGuy, your wife wants to calm down.

Who is sorting the children out after her wild night out?

There is a hurricane season rhyme:

June too soon, July standby, August come it must, September remember, October all over

Not totally accurate, but August/September is generally worst.

Katrina was late August, Hugo, Gilbert and Ivan were September, Wilma was October.

she was out in London till 6am yesterday with a different group of people, and they are coming round today and she is cooking for them and then she is going out to a club with them. We went to a party with a different set of her friends last weekend. She had a picnic with some different friends a couple of days ago.

poshtottie: those look a bit outside my budget. Will check rates though.

Was thinking of somewhere like this:

www.thomson.co.uk/destinations/caribbean/mexico/mexico-caribbean-coast/playacar/hotels/clubhotel-riu -tequila.html

Have booked 2 weeks, so can't imagine we'll spend it all in the same hotel.

Oh hang on no, i went in june (getting mixed up with a july med cruise) maybe be it is hurricane season then

Hurricane season isnt until August is it? i went to Mexico in July, no hurricanes

Or this one

SomeGuy, I think your wife just really loves her monthly meet-ups. Does she see many friends in between?

Oh poshtotie that looks fab! I'm sure Mrs SomeGuy wouldn't be ashmamed of telling her friends she is going there!

Have you booked accommodation yet?

Tell your wife you are booking here I'm sure she will think its worth missing a lunch for.

Look, just because our digital radio is tuned to Gaydar, doesn't mean I'm into manlove. I listen purely for the non-stop dance choons.

Woah, pretty nice. Loving the hot tub.

You go, girlfriend!

poshtottie: you can't get anywhere else in the Caribbean for £200, and it's hurricane season in the whole of the Caribbean....

<<lived in the Caribbean for 10 years, not scared of hurricanes>>

its cheap because its hurricane season.

Merrylegs Bravo PMSL

Are you suggesting that Dollywood is ever so slightly camp?

I hate camping. That's why we're renting one of these: www.auntbug.com/sweetsurrender.html

Log cabins aren't in the least bit camp.

Ok. SomeGuy is off to Dollywood?.... 'DW'? Come on people. There is no 'DW'.

She's ashamed of telling people she's going to Mexico?? What kind of circles do you mix in? We went to Devon!

YANBU.

MayorQuimby - I think it's the Mexico=swineflu thing that is making poeple assume she has reasons rather than just being unreasonable, not the gender of the poster.

SIBU though. I wish I were going to Mexico. Screw the monthly lunch, I'm going on holiday!

YABU. She doesn't want to go to Mexico.

SomeGuy It looks like you can take a harem of women with you to Mexico from MN. I would do that! She can then go to lunch and have a
really drama and sympathy with friends over what a bastards you are. Oh! I'm getting into scriptwriter mod for Dallas. Can I have permission to write this into a chick lit book

BTW, nothing is as bad as Benidorm.

We probably won't actually stay in Cancun, it's just the nearest/cheapest airport to quite a few places.

You're wrong there, mayorquimby. If a woman was posting that she was forcing her husband to holiday in a place that he really didn't want to go, I'd say the exact same thing I've said here.

Thanks MrVibrating, direct flights to Atlanta seem that numerous and are quite expensive, so a 1 stop to Knoxville is probably best.

Agree with VT and loved Quint's opening line.

An amusing thread.

So you have booked your tickets?

Did you ask did she really want to go?

FWIW I think she was being unreasonable but again thats because I would be trying to save the £160
Hope you have a good holiday and your wife enjoys herself

yanbu.
i do love how people are inventing a soap opera in their head and that there must be something more to this (which there might well be) but i'll bet if it was a woman posting that dh wanted to waste 160pound by going a day later because he didn't want to miss his monthly night in the pub or poker game with old friends, no one would be attributing him with complex and sensitive motivations for such. we'd all just assume he wanted to see his mates and have a few beers, and the responses would be in accordance with this belief i.e. yanbu in the slightest pack his bags and tell him you leave on monday etc. ffs he can see his friends any time.

SomeGuy - do you work for the Mexico tourism board?

From what you say, it doesn't actually sound like she wants to go to Mexico. I guess you have to ask yourself what matters more - being 'right' about Mexico being no risk etc etc, or having a family holiday that you all enjoy and are relaxed when on.

fwiw, I'd personally have no problem going but if she does - is she even going to enjoy herself? Does she resent you for 'forcing' her to go to a place she'd rather not go to? Am I making a mountain out of a molehill?

The airport for Dollywood is Knoxville: Opodo shows return flights the week before Christmas (12-19th Dec) for £370 per adult.

Or you could fly direct to Atlanta, 250mi drive via Interstate (or 200mi through the Great Smoky Mountains national park - great drive in the Autumn, not sure about December).

Anyone looking for cheap flights to Mexico try:
flights.thomson.co.uk/en/index.html

Flying on 6th July from Bristol to Cancun
returning 13th or 20th

Price £183.98 return.

At least a dozen seats still available.

I've already booked the more expensive flights...

She is being unreasonable.
If she has a doctors appointment then there is noting you can do about it. At least yoou will still be able to go.
I wish I had a passport because I would be booking cheap flights to Mexico if I could.

They've lifted the swine flu restrictions since April.

my neighbours went to Mexico for their honeymoon at the end of April. They said the nearest case of swine flu was 1200 miles away from where they were s taying,so no chance of getting ill, BUT..... a lot of the temples and trips they hoped to do were cancelled/closed to reduce risks of contamination. So I would check whether you're still able to access them otherwise it would make the holiday a little pointless. Sorry. I'd happily jump on a plane there tho' lunch date be damned.

Shouldn't you go somewhere you both want to go, rather than deciding for her and then forcing her to go somewhere she is clearly not happy about. Whether you feel it is sensible reasoning or not, it bothers her. I think you should consider picking somewhere you will both be happy with.

This is hilarious. You sound just like my DH and his BOGOF Tesco shops. Last shop was Schloer, Del Monte ice lollies and double packs of toffeepops biscuit. "But it was buy one get one free. It's a bargain."
"Yes, but it's not a bargain if we never actually eat the stuff anyway."

Just because it's cheap, doesn't mean you have to go! It sounds like your DW is thinking 10 hour flight+2 year old+ heat+ swine flu = hell.

Mexico will always be there. Why not go when the toddler can really appreciate the Mayan temples?

Woah, hang on. You're going to Dollywood later this year? Think of your carbon footprint. When she asked you to arrange another holiday are you sure she didn't just mean a week at CentreParcs? Do you always go Large?

YABU

your wife doesn't want to go to mexico. she is embarrassed about going there. her compromise is she will still see her friends as planned and you pay the extra £160. if you went somewhere she'd actually like to go then you'd probably save yourself the £160 and the aggravation.

you consider the £160 to be a waste. well she considers the entire holiday to be a waste.

there will be other health disasters bargain holidays, don't feel you've got to jump in on this one.

I think it's a bit off to insist your wife goes on holiday somewhere she's not happy about. Can see your arguments about Mexico but that's beside the point, you both have to agree where you go.

Anyway, you haven't booked yet, easy to change your mind and go anywhere else in the world!

(Or if you really insist, can I come instead? Can't afford a holiday this year. )

You have to ask why this is so important to her, I guess.

YANBU - your wife is. Hope she changes her mind.

Hmmm....I'm not being funny but I can't think of anything more fantastic than a cheaper than usual holiday to Mexico.

I went to New York 3 months after 9/11 as it was cheap.

And Taba in Egypt just after it was blown up.

I didn't just go cos it was cheap I went to ssupport friends and the local economy.

Right now is the BEST time to go to Mexico if you can afford it.

<off to look at flights >

I must admit its more than just the lunch, why not ask her if she really really wants to go to meixco

If you can afford the £160 then whats your problem, sounds to me like she is reluctant to go on a bargin bag hol to swine flu land, i would be too, you sound like a cheap skate, and Tenefife is not the only other holiday destination in the world, if your going to Cancun its not better than Tenefife anyway imo, its like the Benidorm of the Carribean

There is more to this than cyberspace can figure. It's like a little soap opera... Why is the lunch so important? Now a doctors appointment? I think SomeGuy needs to sit down and get in touch with his feminine side and god for bid speak to his wife and the most amazing thing listen.
SomeGuy some people men and women are useless and tell their partner what really going on...... Could you be about to become a Dad again!!!!!!!

How does Lynette know this?

She's not just having her boold presure taken on Tuesday....she has a more serious medical apointment she doesn't want to tell you about.

She has added just now btw that she has a blood test on Tuesday morning (something to do with her low blood pressure). It was only booked this week when she went to see GP so I'm sure she could reschedule. But it's grist to her mill so I just meekly said 'ok'.

<<off to do some work to make up the £160>>

DS finishes school tomorrow.

I book the holidays because I'm much better at organising things I suppose.

We did go to Tenerife a couple of years ago actually. It's quite pleasant.

But £200 flights to Mexico seems like too good a deal to pass up.

hf128219: if you could work out how to get to Dollywood, Tennessee (no flights to Tennessee from UK), cheaply, just before Christmas, that would be great.

Goodness me, you dont usually schedule your family holiday around lunch with your friends, do you???

She is a bit unreasonable. She can lunch with them again upon her return. You should book the cheaper ticket and she should make her excuses for the tuesday lunch, £160 can buy you a lot of lunches in Mexico.

Someguy, I've been to Tenerife, you don't have to ever go believe me! Is she the type to get you to book everything so she doesn't have to take responsibility if it goes wrong?

Will your children have finished school?

I love holiday hunting - tis my forte! YOu could go to Mexico anytime though? Why there?

SGB, she asked me a week ago to find us a holiday (I was quite happy not go anwhere till our Christmas trip to Dollywood), as DS has two months off, and she doesn't think we should stay home all that time.

I always do the holiday hunting, it takes forever, and I don't really fancy spending hours hunting down a bargain-priced alternative to Mexico (which looks absolutely gorgeous; yes we could go to Tenerife, but it's terribly mundane, and you could go there any time).

Yes, she is being unreasonable.

Someguy: Have you checked the flight prices tonight?

Bargain swine flu with children

She is being unreasonable, probably on purpose because you want to go on holiday somewhere that she is not happy about.

A monthly lunch meetup can be cancelled/rearranged/go on without her perfectly well. In July/August it's likely that there would be one month where it would be impossible for all 6 to get together without one of them being on holiday. Unless they are all mad and actually arrange their holidays around their lunches.

I agree with Solid. Are you sure she has agreed to go! I like North Devon myself because if DH is happy then I'm happy!

Yes I am pretty much resigned to writing off the £160. She's always been quite a determined person.

I guess you pick your fights - big one: bargain swine flu Mexico; small one: extra £160 for her to go out to lunch.

What about the prices going up as you fanny about on here?

Erm, it does sound a bit as though you have simply ignored and overridden everything she has said about not wanting to go on this holiday, so she is digging her toes in now. I appreciate that you may be particularly exasperated with her, but you are sounding as though you think that she should just shut up and obey you because you have a willy and therefore Know Best.

That wouldn't work - she'd be delighted if I went two days early (saving her the hell of a flight with a 2 year old), but Monday's flights is from Bristol and Wednesday's is from East Midlands, both of which are ~2 hours from us, and you have to book returns, so she'd have to stay out there two day's longer also.

Or even worse ......they will talk about her when she's not there!

Oh! be careful if she doesn't go on holiday happy she make your life a living hell. My friend wanted to go to Italy for her honeymoon her Dh to-be insisted on going to Mexico. We told him (family and friends) that she's isn't that good at travelling long distances. He ignored our sage advice and she fainted in the lobby of the hotel as they were booking in and broke her jaw in 15 places!!!! NOW don't say I didn't warn you!

As the flights are sooo cheap, go along with the Wednesday flight.

I'm actually begining to feel quite sorry for her being forced to go somewhere she doesn't want to.

I think she's worried about not being allowed back into the lunch club with her Mexican swine flu germs.

Actually hang on a minute..... you will probably find that the flights have gone up twofold when you have been posting this.

She is being unreasonable, sounds like she is feeling insecure about these friendships, like she is afraid of letting them down and it will damage the friendship.

You go early? Meet her there if she is so keen to see her friends?

Yes it does include taxes, and yes, under £200 for a (10 hour) flight to Mexico is an outstanding bargain.

Merrylegs it would be 14 nights from Monday or 14 nights from Wednesday. Makes no difference in that respect.

She did object quite vociferously to Mexico at first, I explained that the UK is predicted to have 100,000 swine flu cases per day soon, the Mexicans OTOH went bonkers, closing restaurants and the like, and it was always centred on Mexico City rather than the tourist areas, and that as a result they've basically beaten it, and the travel warnings have been lifted. I also pointed out that I heard from a guy in Mexico who is thinking of cancelling his trip to the UK because of swine flu, and that the low, low prices are a pretty much once in a lifetime opportunity to go sit on the beach in Mexico, visit the Mayan pyramids, etc., without paying thousands.

I don't think she was too impressed by DS singing 'Hurray, hurray it's a swine flu holiday' though.

She said she would be ashamed to tell her friends she's going to Mexico. I pointed out that you don't go on holiday to impress your friends and in any case there's a lower swine flu risk in Mexico than the UK.

But she isn't English and does worry more about 'face' than me. I guess she might feel uncomfortable telling people she was postponing their lunch date for a trip to swine-flu-land.

Maybe she's a bit anxious about going and feels like all the control's been taken out of her hands.

I meant taxes!!!

so basicaily she wants to spend £160 on going to her friends for lunch!?!
good luck!

Actually £735 sounds a bargain,! Does that include taxies?

There is more to it than just the lunch. She really wants to go on Wednesdayfor some reason, maybe something she's not telling you.

I think £160 is a lot of money to "waste".

I sense hidden issues. She is being so unreasonable that there has to be more to it. Who wants to faff about lunching with friends the day before a trip to Mexico anyway?

And you'd have thought they'd be paying you to go there at the moment - can't be much of a tourist deluge these days.

Where would you be staying on the Monday and Tuesday nights in Mexico (Mexico?? OMG, Swine Flu!).

Would the cost of your accommodation exceed or equal £160?

If so, you won't have saved anything by going early.

I can understant you pov but also hers. The best thing would be for her to phone her friends and ask if they mind, explaining that a day's delay will cost £160 (and presumably one less day's holiday). Naturally her kind friends will say of course she should go on Mon. Win win situation.

Monthly lunch? That's crazy, if they only met once a year and flew in from all corners of the globe then maybe but once a month? That's just mad innit !

i think she is being unreasonable yes.but im speaking as someone who couldnt afford to waste it and think that the monthly lunch thang and friends will be their when i got back.

Can't you just google the facts for her SomeGuy, and tell her she's wrong?

Sounds nuts to me.

YANBU
that's silly. I agree with you - maybe she can invite them over for lunch again when you get back?

i'd like to hear mrssomeguys POV, i am sure if you can afford it - its something to do with valuing these people who are important to her

We are going to Mexico next week (flights not yet booked, but about to be).

Flights on Monday cost £735 total for our family of 4

On Wednesday the cost is £895 for our family of 4.

DW is organiser of a monthly lunch meetup with her friends. There are usually about six women, with their children, and each brings food. The next meet-up is not at our place, but at the house of one of the other people involved, and is scheduled for next Tuesday.

She says we can't go on Monday, saving £160, because she has given her word that the lunch meet would take place on Tuesday, and she says they would probably cancel it if she doesn't come (even though it's at one of her friend's house, who quite frequently has a lunch with just one other person).

I think she is being unreasonable, because there is frequently one of the 6 that cannot make it, and there's not really a significant difference between 5 cooking for 5 and 6 cooking for 6.

It's not that we can't afford the extra £160, it just seems wrong to 'waste' it.