I would have been absolutely furious with my dh if he'd done this and would prob still be going on about it years later. Maybe IBU?! Still, it's a safe bet that this woman's dh won't be doing it again in a hurry but I think I'd say that HIBU, they would have just had to drink their tea black ...
My first ever post on an AIBU btw (I think), am a bit apprehensive
Its the sort of thing my DH would do and the sort of thing that I couldnt even contemplate doing. DH does not do stuff like that purely because he knows how much I dont want him to. He cant understand why I fee; so strongly about it either.
I say she needs to let it drop. He made a mistake but the fcat that he agreed never to do it again makes her v unreasonable to still be going on about it!
I used to do it. At our last house, the off-license was right across the road and I could see our front door from the shop, so I'd pop over for stuff, the difference is, I never took the monitor. My dp also did it once or twice.
I can understand why your friend is upset, her dh did after all leave her dc's at home alone, but as you said, they quite happily sit out in the garden. Although unlikely, what if he'd benn hit by a car or something?
Jesus, of course she's being unreasonable. All this "he could be hit by a car" nonsense is so stupid. I'd have to check the statistics but I would think he is far more likely to have an accident in his home which knocks him out. These things happen. Yes what he did carried risks but those risks were small and he did everything reasonable, IMO, to reduce them.
Freely admit to being a pansy, I wonder if she just suffers like I do from a ridiculously over-active imagination which prevents her from being rational about this kind of thing. Perhaps she keeps playing the 'what if' scenarios over and over in her head (alien abduction in particular I think would be most worrying) and for that reason can't let it drop?
nelly I don't think what I said was stupid at all. Like i said, I have done it and my dp has done it and I see nothing wrong with it, but I can understand the mother's concerns. Anything could happen while he is out of the house, the room, whatever, the main thing is that dangers are reduced and minimised. So if the dc's are safe in a secured house with the oven/iron etc off, then it would be perfectly fine to spend a few mins at the shop or in the bath as long as the dangers are thought through and are minimal.
Ultimately, they just need to agree what's ok for next time. If she isn't comfortable with it, he shouldn't do it. My DH has all kinds of safety rules which I think are naff and pointless, but I do them because they're important to him, and they're his kids. Works both ways.
Does she ever go into the garden at night when the children are in bed and tidy up the toys/water the garden/clean out the barbie/take down the parasol/bring in washing/peg out washing etc? If yes, is she ever longer than 3 mins? And does she take the baby monitor with her?