to think that people should be able to sit in their garden without having to listen to other peoples music?

(126 Posts)
fufflebum Mon 15-Jun-09 11:27:18

I am wondering if I am being unreasonable but wanted to gauge some opinion.....

Here goes we live in a detatched house on an estate but our neighbours (at the back ) seem to like spending a lot of time in their garden. Nothing wrong in this but when they are out there they seem to have to have their radio on. This can go on for hours. Sometimes it is loud enough to hear the song playing, othertimes a low mumbling thump. I am not expecting to sit in the garden in complete silence, god knows my two kids prevent that! However, is it too much to ask that sometimes they could turn the radio off?
This weekend we had it all weekend and very late into Saturday night/sunday morning as they had family around and you could hear voices in the garden.
I am especially sensitive as another neighbour (side on from us) has the occasional bbq and party/disco that goes on until 1 am.
I would never dream of taking a radio in to the garden to listen to music and the children only play out in the garden for an hour or so at a time. Whilst I do expect some noise I cannot understand why I should have to put up with what feels like noise pollution! I am beginning to dread the weekend now. AIBU?

kando Mon 15-Jun-09 11:31:26

I think you are a bit, tbh. I have been known to listen to the radio in my garden, not up loud though. Be thankful you don't have my neighbours who like to shout "stop bloody screaming" at my dds when they are having fun in their paddling pool angry

I think you're being ABU too. I like having music on in my garden, never loud enough to disrupt anyone else though. My neighbours on either side do it too.

herbietea Mon 15-Jun-09 11:51:47

Message withdrawn

4andnotout Mon 15-Jun-09 11:52:18

YABU I listen to my radio in my garden during the day, i don't have loud and it doesn't even drown out the neighbours arguing.

CurryMaid Mon 15-Jun-09 11:54:30

Radio on in the day, not loud enough for you to even discern the song = not unreasonable of them.

Radio up loud late into the night = unreasonable of them.

Just my opinion though.

OhBling Mon 15-Jun-09 11:54:32

I think YABabitU. If it's blasting noise all the time, I can understand it, but a little bit of music in the background is just the way it is and one of the joys of living in England. If the music bothers you, play your own - IME unless it's really loud from the neighbour, playing a little music of my own in my own garden drowns out any noise.

Although I quite like it - it doesn't bother me at all that people have music or talk or play in their gardens. Unless it's so loud I can't hear myself think I simply see it as part of community living.

And I'd say let your DCs play outside for more than an hour. As long as it's not at 6 am, your neighbours shouldn't get upset.

I would go and have a word with them if it's disturbing you that much. If my radio was too loud I'd be glad of a neighbour coming round to tell me instead of them suffering in silence.

VinegarTits Mon 15-Jun-09 11:57:26

YABU if you want to sit in your garden and not get background noises from other neighbours (voices/radio) then you need to go and buy a house in the middle of nowhere

mrsjammi Mon 15-Jun-09 11:58:22

Message withdrawn

katiestar Mon 15-Jun-09 12:17:18

YANBU.I hate this too.I don't have a problem with voices/children playing but I can't stand radios blaring.So chavvy !

YeahBut Mon 15-Jun-09 12:25:31

I don't think people should be bothered by noise while inside their homes but noise outside, well that's just life.

PrammyMammy Mon 15-Jun-09 12:34:35

YABU.
It is outside, and a muffled radio really isn't that big a deal.
Unless you would ask your dcs to play in silence so your neighbours couldn't hear them?

onebatmother Mon 15-Jun-09 12:37:14

Yanbu.

Completely antisocial to inflict your taste in music on others. The only way to drown it out is to put on your music, which would escalate into a freaking cacophony.

music is not a right.

How on earth is listening to a radio chavvy?

EyeballshasManBoobs Mon 15-Jun-09 12:56:07

Oh FFS. How is playing music chavvy? A nice summer day, out in the garden with a book and some music and a long cool drink is one of life's small, free pleasures. If the radio is blaring out then fine, you might have a point. But loud enough at some points to hear the song is not unreasonable. I don't want to hear next door's children screaming, or the dog two doors down barking, or people whittering on about nonsense. But unless you live on an island then it's part of living in a community.

There are some right bloody miseries on this thread.

traceybath Mon 15-Jun-09 13:01:54

YABU.

My mil used to go mad because her neighbour listened to the radio whilst gardening - hardly the crime of the century in my opinion.

As long as its not really loud and at an anti-social hour i don't see the problem. Its part of living alongside neighbours.

Of course easy for me to say as my nearest neighbour is a mile away smile

BelleWatling Mon 15-Jun-09 13:09:18

YABU
Get an ipod or ear plugs.
If it is antisocially loud and at late hours ask politely to turn it down.
The behaviour you describe is well within socially acceptable levels for people to do in their own homes. You say you can sometimes make out the song and occasionally people talk in THEIR OWN GARDEN until 1am.

I feel sorry for your kids if they have their outdoor time rationed.

As for 'chavvy' - I mean seriously? Does that include Radio Three or Four? I doubt it.

mayorquimby Mon 15-Jun-09 13:16:17

yabu.

SilentBob Mon 15-Jun-09 13:17:41

I am another who despairs of the lack of community spirit some people have these days. Mind you, I don't think it's unreasonable to have friends and family around talking or listening to music at 1 o'clock in the morning either, so maybe I am the weird one. I actually like hearing other people relaxing and having fun.

jumpyjan Mon 15-Jun-09 13:18:36

Havent had time to read the other posts but imo yanbu. I hate any sort of inconsiderate behaviour with regards to noise and I think it must be annoying for you. I don't understand why some people have to have 'noise' all the time when in the garden in the summer - its so nice to just hear the birds/aeroplanes flying by and other lovely summer sounds.

I have noticed my allotment neighbour is the same and always has to have radio on.

I have had noise issues from a neighbour in the past and unfortunately it is not an easy thing to resolve.

MrsBartlet Mon 15-Jun-09 13:19:13

YANBU at all. I think it is very selfish for people to inflict their own taste in music on others. You should be able to sit in your garden and enjoy some peace and quiet.

meemar Mon 15-Jun-09 13:21:08

Yabu. If you live where other people live, i.e, most places in a society, then you have to expect a reasonable level of noise.

And someone listening to their radio in their own garden is reasonable.

Katisha Mon 15-Jun-09 13:23:04

Actually I am in sympathy with OP, but got oversensitised to noisy neighbours in our last house.

I dont really want to hear someone else's music coming over the fence, but low rumble - well OK.

But what I really dont want to hear is windchimes! But that's another thread...

Just as selfish to inflict silence on someone who doesn't want it, surely?

We're not talking about someone raving in their house/garden from 6pm-6am with 80 people crammed in, we're talking about someone listening to the radio and someone else having an OCCASIONAL BBQ with friends and family.

BelleWatling Mon 15-Jun-09 13:24:20

LOL at aeroplanes being 'lovely summer sounds' but not music... hmm

I think YABU to a certain extent.

Having the radio on at a reasonable level during the day or early evening shouldn't be a problem. A neighbours right to listen to music is every bit as important as your right not to.

However, if it was going to be loud or on until late, if it were me, I'd pop round and let you know. I'd probably also say "if it becomes annoying or a problem just give me a shout". On the same note, if it were loud and on till late, I'd feel able to pop round to my neighbour and say "look, fancy turning it down a bit" etc.

Compromise, compromise.

shelleylou Mon 15-Jun-09 13:31:54

YABU, put some music on yourseklf or go round for a request as ive been known to do grin

jumpyjan Mon 15-Jun-09 13:34:37

BelleWatling - perhaps its just me who thinks aeroplanes are a lovely summer sound. I just mean the distant sound of a plane and thinking of all the people on it going on holiday. Guess if you live on a flightpath you have a different opinion though!

EyeballshasManBoobs Mon 15-Jun-09 13:38:11

YABVU jumpyjan. They might be flying home for funerals y'know.

wink

foofi Mon 15-Jun-09 13:39:03

YANBU - this drives me nuts. Obviously you expect to hear noise from other gardens like children playing etc, but there's no excuse for playing music outside the house - it's really antisocial.

ohdearwhatamess Mon 15-Jun-09 13:39:03

YANBU at all. That would drive me potty. I don't mind aeroplanes, lawnmowers, trampoline bouncing, strimmers, etc, but other peoples' music is something else.

Very selfish and inconsiderate imo. A garden should be a sanctuary where you can potter, sit, read in peace.

mayorquimby Mon 15-Jun-09 13:40:04

"I don't think it's unreasonable to have friends and family around talking or listening to music at 1 o'clock in the morning either, so maybe I am the weird one. I actually like hearing other people relaxing and having fun. "

phew was starting to feel like a freak myself. i love seeing other people having a good time. obviously not blaring music every day and night till 5 in the norning. but realxing outside during the day with a radio or having a party or BBQ every now and again at weekends then can't see what the problem is. seems like 1 o clock is a very very reasonable time to wind down a party on a weekend.

Morloth Mon 15-Jun-09 13:40:27

LOL, YABU.

Here we have the elephant people upstairs (who also enjoy a late night party), the baby next door who thinks he is a dinosaur and spends all lovely summer days screeching and raaring, the two little kids on the other side who like to run and scream.

The backpacking Australians over the back who play really loud music and who like to talk over the fence. Then there is us who have a BBQ if it isn't actually pouring down, I have my stereo loud enough to hear it in the garden and my very own 5yo boy who likes to pretend he is a jet plane oh and speaking of jet planes we live under the Heathrow approach.

Life is loud and in summer it is louder because we all want to be outside. If you want silence you are going to have to spend some serious money I think.

Stigaloid Mon 15-Jun-09 13:44:42

YABu although i sympathise. i live in a semi-detached and next door's kids are noisy at the moment and i dread when they become teenagers. They seem to think it is perfectly reasonable to start their violin and piano practise at or after 9:30pm and play loudly in room next to our living room so we can't hear our tv. I am pregnant at the moment and go to bed early to failed attempts at 'All that Jazz' being played repeatedly on piano.

sigh

upagumtree Mon 15-Jun-09 13:46:34

YAabsolutelyNBU.
You should be perfectly entitled to relax in your own garden without being subjected to other peoples music. Have a bit of consideration for others you radio/ipod/stereo blaring people.

EyeballshasManBoobs Mon 15-Jun-09 13:52:23

You should be perfectly entitled to relax in your own garden without being made to feel that you can't play a bit of music on your own property. Get a life people. Put some cheese in your ears or move to the arse end of nowhere. Or lighten up and play some music of your own, it might cheer you up.

Confuzzeled Mon 15-Jun-09 13:53:52

I think the point is that it's not that loud, it's just on the verge of hearing while is annoying it's part of living in a community.

My neighbours play music so loud my pictures go squint. I think YABA, can you sit out the front of your house? Can you still hear it then? I mean without straining to hear it.

Casserole Mon 15-Jun-09 13:57:04

Totally sympathise. I HATE being able to hear other people's music when I'm in the garden.

Can't work out if YABU or not, just as I can't work out if I am either. I think probably both parties are being a little bit unreasonable - ie I should accept that I don't live in the middle of nowhere and so will have to put up with some noise, and others should also be aware that they live in a built up area and not everyone wants to hear their music all day long and either switch it off for part of the day or turn it right down.

Bit of compromise on both sides, probably.

curiositykilled Mon 15-Jun-09 14:00:29

YABU - I don't mean this to sound rude but, if you want absolute silence you should live miles from anyone else. If you have to live around other people you should learn to tolerate reasonable living noise (which is what this is). 1am is not so bad for a party to end either - if they are very noisy past 11 or they are doing it on week nights or frequently, you should complain (nicely).

There are plenty of worse things most people have to put up with from their neighbours, I've had neighbours that had constant parties all through the night every night, neighbours that really badly beat each other up ocassionally and had the police out many times, neighbours that shouted and swore at my children, neighbours that tried to have me evicted by making up lies to my landlord because they didn't think children should be allowed to live in the building, that made false reports about me to various authorities, whose children felt they could jump over our fence and come in our house without me knowing and many, many other things.... All this has taught me that you have to be reasonable and calm and try not to cause trouble or it can get very difficult for you to all live together peacefully. Do you want this to turn into a full-blown battle that you'd have to disclose when you sold your house? You really don't know how they might feel if you go round ticking them off about this. It can easily lead to malicious turning up of the radio and cutting down of trees on the boundary you share e.t.c.

I'll swap your radio neighbours and BBQ neighbours for the screaming fox that has taken up residence in the field by my house. The bloody thing screams from 2:00am-2:30am every bloody night, scares the hell out of me every time.

piscesmoon Mon 15-Jun-09 14:07:30

YANBU- I can't bear it. I don't mind children playing, lawn mowers or even the girl next door playing the piano through the open window (I know it will be for a short time)-however no one should ever take a radio into their garden or play music. There is no excuse-they just need earphones.

chipmunk1 Mon 15-Jun-09 14:11:23

YABU. I have to listen to my neighbours having noisy sex when its a sunny sunday afternoon. I'd much rather hear the radio (although my 20mo ds did give them a cheer and a round of applause when they finished, even though he had no idea what they were doing!)

Blu Mon 15-Jun-09 14:11:42

YANBU.

Sitting in the garden is about enjoying some outdoor time with outdoor noises. Not being exposed to other people's music all the time.

Though a quite radio is a bit different to people who like to bring their speakers outside and turn up the volume.

sammynixon Mon 15-Jun-09 14:14:50

i totally agree that you should be able to sit in your garden peacefully...
why should you have to listen to other peoples music. their music should be their music for their ears only..
the whole street shouldn't have to put up with it,
i think its just plain rude and inconsiderate... angry

HelloBeastie Mon 15-Jun-09 14:24:40

YANBU if the radio was really on all weekend.

The thing about most of the noises mentioned above (kids playing, people chatting outside, mowing lawn etc) is they are intermittent, no-one mows their lawn all afternoon.

But it's perfectly possible to stick a radio outside and leave it blaring away all day, whether or not anyone's listening to it. And I bet it wasn't a nice relaxing bit of classical music either, was it?

bubblagirl Mon 15-Jun-09 14:27:49

i loved this about summer laying in garden listening to people enjoying the weather etc i played my music they play there's were all entitled to do what we want

as long as its not early hours in the morning i think its great listening to kids playing and laughing listening to music its all part of summer for me

Greensleeves Mon 15-Jun-09 14:27:59

You wouldn't want to live next door to me then, we spend half our lives sitting in the garden playing our guitars/mandolins/banjos/fiddles grin

I wouldn't do it late on a school night, but if we had a music-phobic miserable neighbour who complained I wouldn't just stop doing it - that would be unfir to us IMO. W ewould have to work out a fair interface between their needs and ours - and they would have to put up with listening to us some of the time.

What's the legal position on this? Presumably there is some kind of decibel limit or something?

frankbestfriend Mon 15-Jun-09 14:29:01

Yabu

Go live in the countryside if you require silence in the back garden.

I listen to radio 4 nearly every day in the summer whilst pottering in the garden, does that make me a chav too?hmm

EyeballshasManBoobs Mon 15-Jun-09 14:43:32

I keep coming back to this thread because I'm so annoyed by it. People are so bloody intolerant. I wouldn't mind if you were talking about something really unpleasant like shovels scraping on concrete but it's music fgs.

Katisha Mon 15-Jun-09 14:54:01

Am starting to feel a bit more hardline now -actually I don't think it's right to impose your choice of music on your neighbour I really don't. One person's music is another person's awful racket.

Why do people think they have the right to do this, without considering the impact it might have on someone else?

<Wanders off muttering about rights without responsibilities etc...>

SomeGuy Mon 15-Jun-09 14:58:09

I would be very pissed off if my neighbours complained about us having irregular parties in our garden. Nothing wrong with it at all. I don't complain about the neighbours' kids playing (being noisy) in their gardens either.

MissSunny Mon 15-Jun-09 15:04:27

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MissSunny Mon 15-Jun-09 15:07:03

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Greensleeves Mon 15-Jun-09 15:08:06

LOL, it's antisocial to sit in your garden on a sunny afternoon and play the guitar? What joyless rubbish

fufflebum Mon 15-Jun-09 15:36:32

Interested to hear peoples responses to this. Some people think I am BU, others totally see my point of view.

For info, some people seem to think I am restricting my kids playing outside, this is not true. However, as part of a community I would not let them play out all day everyday as I appreciate that my neighbours might get fed up with it. Also we do go out and about and play in parks and so forth, as I don't want to stay in my own house and garden all day with preschoolers.
I am being sensitive to the noise my kids make and would not subject people to them all day every day, why is it ok then to play music all day?

It is quite subjective I think. As one person has posted one persons choice of music is not anothers. In the same way some people would be happy to hear kids playing, for others it would drive them barmy.

I don't object to intermittent noise but if they are home and in the garden the radio has to be on, they even have garden speakers FFS (who invented these?!).

I personally don't understand the need to have music on all the time and if you do why would others necessarily want to hear it. If I liked some ecclectic type of jazz (not to offend anyone) would that not piss them off it I played it all day?

I like the suggestion of playing my own music (and did contemplate this), but actually I don't want too. As this seems a little childish as a response.

surely if everyone did everything they wanted the world would be a worse place......

onebatmother Mon 15-Jun-09 16:14:42

I think that's what I really hate - being prevented from hearing actual outside sounds, for ex birds. Actually, I like tohear eople talking, laughing, playing etc. Just don't want their taste in music which puts a blanket over eveything else.

It's not only intrusive, it's also hugely arrogant to decide unilaterally that your music should be THE sound. Definition of anti=social imo.

EyeballshasManBoobs Mon 15-Jun-09 16:18:31

"I personally don't understand the need to have music on all the time"

But with respect, that's your problem. For some people, music is a very important part of their life. You don't need to be a musician to feel that. If I put a certain song or album on, it takes me back to a place in my life or a place geographically. Who are you to tell me that I can't have that? (sounds arsey but isn't meant like that).

And any music fan will tell you that music though earphones is never the same, otherwise they'd give out little headsets at concerts

TheFallenMadonna Mon 15-Jun-09 16:21:47

I'm reasonably tolerant of my neighbour's noises, probably because bar the drumming teenager they don't make that much, but I am laughing at the suggestion that people who don't want to listen to the music get some earphones. Um...

TheFallenMadonna Mon 15-Jun-09 16:23:46

People aren't suggesting that you never listen to music though are they? Just htat you don't listen to it in the garden. You're arguing against a point that hasn't been made.

onebatmother Mon 15-Jun-09 16:26:55

Well precisely TFM. In every other area of social life, it's the person whose actions have or might have a negative impact on others who is has to limit themselves..

Should it not be 'my right to pleasure exists only until it prevents another from exercising their own?'.

EyeballshasManBoobs Mon 15-Jun-09 16:33:00

But why shouldn't I be allowed to listen to it on my own property? Same as I have to listen to your dog barking on your property, my neighbours in my old house who used to have evening bbqs and sit under my bedroom window arsing about and giggling until gone midnight while I was trying to sleep. But I wouldn't dream of complaining about those things because it's part and parcel of living with other people. Unless it was top volume drum and bass thumping away day after day then no one has any right to say that you can't enjoy it in your own garden.

And I'm still trying to get why listening to music is chavvy.

onebatmother Mon 15-Jun-09 16:33:45

Eyeballs: "I personally don't understand the need to have music on all the time"

But with respect, that's your problem."

No, it's not. We are not allowed to do things which we enjoy wherever we like. For example, I like to masturbate, but I don't do it in public because it would be alarming and because there are laws against it.

It doesn't mean that my right to masturbate is beign infringed. It means that the greater good is more important than my right to sexual pleasure in the open air.

Hope that helps grin

sarah293 Mon 15-Jun-09 16:35:02

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KerryMumbles Mon 15-Jun-09 16:35:06

It's fucking annoying as hell. ESPECIALLY if it is some godawful rap\pop\lady gaga shite on repeat 20 times in a row.

yanbu.

Get a gun

onebatmother Mon 15-Jun-09 16:35:27

"But why shouldn't I be allowed to listen to it on my own property?"

Well you can. As long as it stays within the boundaries of your property. Which it doesn't when played outside, sound waves being what they are.

Baisey Mon 15-Jun-09 16:37:28

Awww I grew up living next door to a pub that hosted karaoke sessions every Friday night. Once I looked old enough wink I soon realised it best that if you cant beat them join them!
You need to let go and realise that people arnt going to stop living their lives just because something rather small and unimportant is annoying you, once you do this it'll be much less of a problem. Everyday noises like this arnt unreasonable, its LIFE.

sarah293 Mon 15-Jun-09 16:48:07

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piscesmoon Mon 15-Jun-09 16:56:35

Also what about afteroon / evening parties / gatherings / bbqs? We have them a couple of times a week in the summer - with music.

I am glad I don't live next door to you-I couldn't bear it. I don't mind BBQ and parties once in a while but music -absolutely NOT. It is utter misery for everyone else.

YANBU. Its fair enough its an infrequent occurance for a party or BBQ. Otehrwise I think its not fair on your neighbours. Yes you can argue people should live in the middle of nowhere if they don't want the noise. I wish I could afford to but I can't. What happened to being considerate for others?

If I'm in the garden I liek to relax - music is much worse than traffic, dogs, kids, lawnmowers. I think its the beat that stopes me being able to relax. So other people being selfish stop me from beign able to go out in my garden. I end up going inside.

One of my neighbours sunbathes by himself listening to his stereo - why can't he just use an ipod?

sarah293 Mon 15-Jun-09 17:08:27

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KERALA1 Mon 15-Jun-09 17:20:49

Utterly utterly NOT being unreasonable.

The odd party - fine.
Children playing - fine.
Occasional practising of a musical instrument - fine.

But constant radio playing is definitely not on. We had this once and got out our radio and played it loudly too. Funnily enough they didnt like it and got the hint. Selfish idiots.

piscesmoon Mon 15-Jun-09 17:24:46

I would love to live in the middle of nowhere but can't afford to either.
Anyone can allow a couple of parties a year and for neighbours to have quiet BBQs but I would be praying for long wet summers!

It is extremely antisocial to have BBQs with music.
I am lucky where I live because although people have friends around for BBQs it is quiet-we have them too. I shall have to check out the neighbours with care next time I move.

I don't think anyone should have music in their garden ever.

KERALA1 Mon 15-Jun-09 17:27:34

I quite like the sound of a party - the chink of glasses, laughing and chat. Just not phat beats. Its music that particularly grates.

londonone Mon 15-Jun-09 17:28:28

Radios are fine providing they are not blaring out. At least it is a fairly constant hum/level or noise.

Children playing on the other hand are a complete nightmare, shrieking and screaming, it goes right through me.

However I accept that is my problem.

cocolepew Mon 15-Jun-09 17:31:04

YANBU I love listening to music if I'm outside I use my ipod.

The other weekend i was subjected to The Pussycat Dolls blaring for hours on end.

The Pussycat Dolls ffs.

jumpjockey Mon 15-Jun-09 17:34:34

I sort of sympathise with OP in that our neighbours are like Greensleeves - play guitar in the garden all day during summer (and I do mean all day, he works from home and writes jingles and the like so it's not especially good music either!). We wouldn't mind if it was just audible in the garden, the problem is we're in terraces and somehow the sound reflects back into our house so that if we hsve the windows open it's plinky plink all the time. We'd have to have music on pretty loud to drown it out.

But then when we go away they watch the house for us - and when we're in the garden they say hello and ask after dd. So it's swings and roundabouts really.

sarah293 Mon 15-Jun-09 17:38:51

Message withdrawn

When camping the other week the idiot in the next tent had a portable radion and was listening to the bloody football. angry

The original poster is not being unreasonable in my view.

Noise pollution from a radio in the garden is just that and shows absolutely no consideration towards others who could hear it. Pity the PRS have no jurisdiction in this area!.

The Noise Act 1996 states that the hours of “night” are 11pm to 7am so technically loud music from a party should be turned off, or at the very least down at 11pm.

willowstar Mon 15-Jun-09 17:55:14

YABpretty unreasonable. You said in your original post that often the music was so that you could only just hear it...as for having the occasional BBQs until 1am, well that is just life. As for only letting your children out for short bursts so as not to annoy the neighbours...I think that is pretty sad. But then I am one of those people who likes the sounds of summer, I love sunbathing listening to the chatter of people in the other gardens, kids playing, lawnmowers, doesn't bother me at all.

TheDullWitch Mon 15-Jun-09 17:59:12

YANBU. Most decidedly not.

I loathe piped music in gyms or shops. And to have it my own garden all day long with speakers would make me miserable, even ill.

You should politely have a word. And if no joy consult your council noise pollution dept.

It is totally selfish to put in on so anyone else can hear it. We should all be more considerate in public spaces. If you want constant music put in earphones, don't inflict it on other people.

Human interaction is fine, I love hearing children play or people chatting and laughing. But music unless you chose it is just NOISE!

It is the equivalent of sitting next to someone eating a stinking burger or curry in a cinema.

Rowlers Mon 15-Jun-09 18:03:06

Why do people have to listen to music?
Why do people who play music have this bizarre idea that music stops at the fence?
Noise is fine - children playing, people chatting, enjoying themsleves yes, but music NO.
NO NO NO
It is totally antisocial and selfish and betrays an utter lack of respect for others.

Rowlers Mon 15-Jun-09 18:11:47

And this notion - if you want peace and quiet and no music go and live in the middle of nowhere?
If the music polluters want to listen to their music in the garden all day long, why don't THEY sod off to the middle of bf nowhere?

If this thread does nothing else, I hope those people who play music are at least aware that their neighbours quite possibly DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT.
Don't presume it's ok.
People are scared of complaining.
Their silence doesn't mean your neighbours like it.

DandyLioness Mon 15-Jun-09 18:12:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

piscesmoon Mon 15-Jun-09 18:17:51

'Noise is fine - children playing, people chatting, enjoying themsleves yes, but music NO.
NO NO NO'

I agree-I am not unrealistic and am quite happy to hear the children next door running and shouting and generally being children-anything BUT music and radios.

Bonneville Mon 15-Jun-09 18:36:18

YANBU. We have exactly the same situation with a family behind us who does the same. Their taste in music is carp carp carp!

Thunderduck Mon 15-Jun-09 18:37:54

I've heard of whale music but never carp.

smurfgirl Mon 15-Jun-09 18:44:33

I always sit and listen to music in my garden, my neighbours enjoy drum and bass at 2am so I think it balances ;) Someone else down the road likes to play chart music really really loudly but its fine just background noise really.

My music is on my laptop so headphones is impractical because I like to wander.

I think its pretty quiet though, I certainly can't hear it from the backdoor when I nip inside to the loo.

I find noisy kids much more annoying that music (drum and bass at 2am aside).

mrsjammi Mon 15-Jun-09 18:54:15

Message withdrawn

fufflebum Mon 15-Jun-09 18:56:04

Well it seems as if others share my opinion.....

I am wondering if all those who posted supporting their right to music in the garden are the same people who listen to it and their neighbours sit in silence hoping for rain!!!!

As someone said they enjoy masturbating but would not do it in public!

I do not object to the music per se but just that I have to listen to it when they want to hear it. (Sometimes they are not even in the garden!).

As a society the idea that you can do what you want when you want is pretty selfish. If you like music please listen to it at your convenience, not mine!!! As someone said it does not stop at the fence.

If it continnues, I will say something....

Beware all those people who posted about supporting music being played....it could be you I am writing about!!!

dweezle Mon 15-Jun-09 18:56:38

YANBU. I hate this - it makes summer miserable for me. I go and sit in the garden with a book and have to come in 5 mins later because neighbours have radio on. It's not overly loud, but I can hear it, the music is awful and it spoils my time in my garden.

I won't ask them to turn it off/down, because as I said, it is not loud enough to be a proper issue. So I don't get to sit in my garden and read.

I have said this on similar threads before, but I really think that music should not be loud enough to be heard outside your own property boundaries.

Lawnmowers etc are different because this sort of noise doesn't go on for hours at a time.

Also, we really don't need background music ALL THE TIME.

I was at school sports last week and there was a van with a huge sound system playing loud music all the time the kids were doing sports. It was awful, it ruined the afternoon, and it was unnecessary.

I can't understand why you don't go over and say something, just be polite and friendly.

katiestar Mon 15-Jun-09 22:03:52

I dom't understand why they can't use an ipod

I don't understand why listening to a radio is chavvy?

pocketmonster Mon 15-Jun-09 22:06:18

YANBU! It is absolutely bloody anti social. And to the poster who thinks 1am wind down for a weekend party is early shock. How is that ok? I think if you're outside having a party you clear it with the neighbours beforehand and you wind down the noise by 11pm - and even then it should be the exception not the rule!

pocketmonster Mon 15-Jun-09 22:09:01

I think the poster said that listening to the radio outside in your garden is chavvy - and at the risk of getting flamed I agree. I think people who inflict that kind of continuous noise on their neighbours are lacking in consideration and therefore manners. And IME usually chavs. Pocketmonster runs for cover. grin

carocaro Mon 15-Jun-09 22:19:29

It is a pain in the ass, that low boom boom of music all day would send me doo lally.

We have lovely retired neighbours but on the dot every sunday at 9.15 he strims the frigging front garden, me and DH take turns to lie in at the weekend, yes I am selfish but we are tired our 2 year old is up in the night we want some peace!

However.

They are probably typing on the SAGA site right now about the two lovely children next door who shreik and whoop all afternoon in the garden and they can't enjoy their tea and gardeners question time on radio 4!

tigerdriver Mon 15-Jun-09 22:27:52

lol at the idea of living in the middle of nowhere meaning silence. What with the pheasants, foxes, random buzz saws, geese, bird scarers and the s*dding dawn chorus etc etc it's not exactly like your local library. Quite like to hear other people in their gardens having a nice time. YABU, glad you don't live next door to me.

Agree with Pocketmonster.

WhipsAndFurs Mon 15-Jun-09 23:14:06

YANBU. Neighbourly noises (in whatever form) are to be expected but not something like a continuously blaring radio.

Pogleswood Mon 15-Jun-09 23:20:53

Constantly being able to hear other people's(canned) music would drive me mad(and has in the past) - the trouble with music is it pulls you in whether you want to listen or not.Why should I have to listen to your music,in my garden?
But all the rest of it I don't mind - pheasants,foxes,builders,children,talking,lawn mowing,guitar playing...none of those noises is as relentless as someone playing music constantly.I don't think it's chavvy,but it is inconsiderate if it's for longer than a certain amount of time.

zeke Mon 15-Jun-09 23:52:24

I've been annoyed by this myself, on many an occasion. However, it is a little bit unreasonable - I suppose. The noise in our garden is from our neighbours 25 yr old son in his room with the windows open. It isn't late, it rarely goes on for hours. I just don't like his taste in music!
I have resorted to putting my own music on (not loud) to drown in it out.
I'm sitting on the fence a bit with this one -I sympathise but I also think it is ok to have your radio on in the garden (quietly!).

DandyLioness Mon 15-Jun-09 23:54:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nappyaddict Tue 16-Jun-09 01:30:06

Those of you that think it is ok to have music on in the garden at 1am how late do you think is too late?

What about music in the house that you might hear through the walls?

fufflebum Tue 16-Jun-09 06:25:37

Ps I did not say it was chavvy having a radio in your garden. This was someone elses response.

All of you who think 1am is acceptable to have an outdoor party should speak with your local council. They are breaking the law.

Would it be acceptable for my children to be out playing and screaming at 1am in the morning? I think not?

Also as for moving to the country, I do not want too thanks. Why should I move because of others anti social behaviour? If they want to listen to music they can do it in their house.

Thanks for the support from all of you who posted so far.

I think people who believe it is acceptable seem to be a minority and they certainly are where I live at the moment. This tells me it is not acceptable and I suspect that other people find it annoying too. (They have told me so) Perhaps we should get together and confront the culprits who are being 'sociable' with their friends/family in the garden. But anti social to everyone else!

There are some miserable gits in this world sad

Well, when you buy a house you buy it because you want to use it (and it's outside space) at your leisure and how you need/please...
obviously yes, one has to be considered....but playing music, or having Kids pplaying out in the garden however much surely is part of this? Obviously early mornings/late nights is a bit different, but in the day....you should be able to do what you want.

And fluffy...you may not find it important to listen to music, but others do....everyone is different and likes different things, and just because you don't like it doesn't make it a weird thing to like...

Oh, parties, are a different matter...although, the odd one should be o.k. , but a warning to the neighbours might be appropriate....

tatt Tue 16-Jun-09 07:08:10

My neighbours make a lot of noise in their garden - mainly because they like having a lot of people round, the volume of talk rises to compensate and they are a bit deaf... I hate it because I like peace in my garden but its their right to do so and I've never mentioned it to them. However they complain about the large hedge between us that helps to keep the noise down - that is BU! (not shading their garden, BTW - no higher than 6 feet from their side). Look forward to autumn when they tend to be off on holiday.

Agree that if you hate having neighbours the answer is to live in the middle of your own land. They are imposing their music on you - but you want to impose your silence on them part of the time and your childrens noise the rest. Give and take is required.

After 10.p.m, though is unreasonable to me - for the odd party OK but not regularly.

Maybe we should have restrictive covenants on some ares so the quiet people can live in their own enclave.

sarah293 Tue 16-Jun-09 07:45:16

Message withdrawn

willowstar Tue 16-Jun-09 08:28:25

Hi fufflbum...I did post to say i thought the poster was being a bit unreasonable, and no i don't think i have ever listened to my music outside while in the garden. I don't smoke but would happily defend the right of others to do so, would never have an abortion but fully support other peoples choice to do so...point is that you can be tolerant of other peoples behaviours even if you don't practice them yourself.

indeed willow....

dmo Tue 16-Jun-09 09:14:13

i must have fantastic neighbours smile my ds;s aged 11 and 12 have music lessons (drums and electric guitar) and pratice most nights/weekends

we were in our neighbours garden at weekend (3 doors down) and boys were playing and we were making jokes (as if you let your child have a drum kit etc etc)

both neighbours eirther side have been fab and even give my drumming son promps

they cant play at weekend till 12pm and have to finish at 8pm but they normally do half hour bursts here and there in those hours

katiestar Tue 16-Jun-09 09:37:47

Youi sound like me .My DSs s play drums , trumpet , electric gutar and keyboard , but not at unraesonable times or for long duration

sarah293 Tue 16-Jun-09 11:10:31

Message withdrawn

DandyLioness Tue 16-Jun-09 12:55:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YANBU, we have this issue at the moment. Teenage girls next door listen to their music with all the doors and windows open. It started last summer, and I thought we might get a break over the winter, but no, they still had their windows open during the winter, goodness knows what their heating bill is like!

My real problem is that the hip hoppy type music they listen to contains swear words which my three year old DD can hear. Seriously its that loud you can hear it word for word. Even when I have my doors and windows shut. I have had to ask my dad to have her in the afternoons at my parents house to keep her away from it.

If it was just not my taste, I wouldn't mind. If the was a let up, I wouldn't mind, but this is almost all the time they are there, and some of the language is obscene.

We are now moving!

picmaestress Wed 17-Jun-09 00:49:08

YANBU - I've just moved from a flat where the neighbours were an utter nightmare.
I appreciate some families are musical, but their teenage son had a death metal band. He and his mates practised with two sets of drums, two electric guitars with amps and several sets of impressive shouty lungs. Windows open, several days a week, until late, and for hours on saturdays and sundays.
I finally had had enough (it wasn't possible to have a conversation in our flat it was so loud) and went and pointed out to them (very nicely and politely) that it was INSANE. They couldn't actually hear what I was saying at first, which was kind of...ironic.
The mother was all huffy and hysterical, and said 'well, would you rather HE WAS OUT IN THE STREET??' hmm

I think even they then realised it was a bit ridiculous, as they seemed to stop him at 9pm most nights after that.

I now live in a great house, with brilliant neighbours who make a little bit of noise in a vaguely civilised manner. Low volume radio, TV, music, parties on saturday and sunday, little kids crying or playing: all fine, I have no problem with this, I'm not expecting silence.

I used to cry regularly, it was so upsetting and intrusive. I feel so sorry for whoever moves in to that flat.

To all of the posters who are defending the right for people to play music, please if you do anything, just briefly consider other people's rights too. You probably don't realise how loud it is to other people. They are probably too scared to complain; it took me about 6 months to work up the nerve. I don't think it's a great way to treat other people, to just expect them to lump it, or move house.

mrsjammi Wed 17-Jun-09 11:56:50

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mistlethrush Wed 17-Jun-09 12:21:48

I've solved our problem with neighbours playing music so that it was clearly audible in our garden (and indeed, in the house): last summer I was quietly weeding and there was a compilation disc on - absolutely all clearly audible, could hear all the words to the songs etc (very good hifi system!). ALong came something that I recognised - so I joined in. It went quite high. So did I. Fairly loudly. Both of their dogs started barking frantically and a joking comment came through the hedge that I frightened the dogs - I said I was just joining in. But to this day I've not heard the music on at even half of the volume that they had it that day - and that was reasonably early last summer. gringringrin

PMSL! Singing along with the song, and "frightented the dogs"!!!

mistlethrush Wed 17-Jun-09 12:53:40

grin I do sing in a couple of choirs - and can be quite loud - and I wasn't pulling any punches based on the volume that they had it at!

I'm glad that worked for you. I am 29, and wouldn't say in conversation some of the words in my neighbours songs, let alone sing along loudly!

mistlethrush Wed 17-Jun-09 14:33:17

LTSF - I think it might even have been a bit of a Tchaikovsky ballet that I sang along too.. blush

Wow, so no lyrics, even more talented! No wonder it scared the dogs! Although very cultural neighbours you have there! Much more classy than those in Essex obviously!

laweaselmys Wed 17-Jun-09 15:43:04

I think the iPod solution is total pants. To start with radios are cheap to buy and free to run iPods are not - I spent years saving up to get mine, and as and when you fancy listening to something new you have to pay for it.

Given that it was so expensive there is no way I am putting it in my pocket and pottering around in the garden with it! ipod in the watering can? No thank you.

I also wouldn't be able to hear my baby crying with earphones in.

Quiet enough that you can only just hear it is NBU. YABU.

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