I told the midwife several weeks ago that DH and I were going to attend NCT antenatal classes. Basically she slagged them off saying 'they'll make you feel really bad about yourself if you don't give birth on just a puff of gas and air' and 'you should come to NHS Parentcraft Classes instead, because it will be tailored to the X hospital and not just general information like NCT gives'. Have ignored her and booked the NCT classes anyway, as we are happy to go to both (it's our first and we want as much information as possible).
So yesterday at my 28 week appointment I asked about Parentcraft classes and got on the list for four sessions in July. They are in the middle of the day during the week, and I turned to DH and said 'that shouldn't be a problem for you right?' as his work is very flexible. Midwife made this sort of disapproving sound and said 'Now I'm not trying to put you off or anything, and partners are welcome, BUT we do worry the group may not "gel" if there's a partner there, or you two might just focus on each other, so why don't you just plan on the first one and we'll see how it goes?'
I can't quite get the tone of it in writing, but DH and I both agreed after that despite what was actually said, she DID NOT want him there at all and was doing her best to let him know.
So am I being completely looney to think that my husband, birth partner, and new father-to-be should be welcomed with open arms to something like this? Is it unrealistic to think that it doesn't matter how I 'gel' with complete strangers, that I'm there for information that a birth partner/new father would need as well?
Did other partners attend NHS parentcraft classes, or did you go by yourself?
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AIBU?
To think the midwife shouldn't make DH feel unwelcome at NHS Parentcraft Classes?
42 replies
YanknCock · 04/06/2009 16:21
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