to expect the consultant not to automatically write to "Mr and Mrs"

[curlygal]

DS was referred to a consultant for what is thankfully a minor matter.

The letter I recieved today confirming this was addressed to "Mr and Mrs X".

I am not and never have been married to DS's father and my name is not "Mrs X" as DS has exP's surname and I have mine.

I found it odd to receive a letter addressed to "Mr and Mrs X" and was surprised that it was from the hospital.

Most letters to do with DS's health care are addressed to "Parent / Gaurdian of DS" which surely should be standard practice? If it were a company rather than the NHS I would be inclined to write and complain as feel it is very old fashioned to assume that a child's parent / guardian are automatically Mr and Mrs. Surely plenty of children do not live in the "perfect" family with mummy and daddy being married to each other and where the mummy has taken daddy's surname?

So AIBU or just over sensitive?

[Doodle2U]

Wouldn't bother me.

I'd be more concerned with the contents of the letter rather than the rights and wrongs of the salutation.

[namebacon]

So you're single and you have one name and your ds has his fathers name and you expect the consultant to know all this?

Actually, the majority of children do live with their natural parents and have the same surname, so YABU IMO.

[namebacon]

Oh yeah, and what Doodle2U said too.

[FabulousBakerGirl]

YABU and a tad over senstive.

Bigger things to stress about tbh and it seems that whatever is used to address a letter will annoy someone.

[Northernlurker]

As an NHS employee I can assure you that standard letters in our hospital do go to parent/guardian of x - therefore I think what you have there is a one off letter written to you by your consultant. Maybe you need to focus on the contents rather than the admittedly unfortunate assumptions they made when sending it!

[piscesmoon]

I don't think it is important. My DS1 has a different surname and I often get phone calls as Mrs (old surname)I just say yes-it is less complicated. I would rather a consultant concentrated on the health of DS- addressing the envelope is trivial.

[morningpaper]

Hmm it would annoy me too - should be parent/guardian

[MrsMcCluskey]

How is the consultant supposed to know your family history?

Think you are splitting hairs.

[InsomniacMumontheRun]

I think the health of your DS is far more important than who the letter was addressed to.

If it bothers you then ask them to amend their records.

[curlygal]

I am not saying that I expect the consultant to know to address DS's letter to Ms Curlygal I am just saying that it seems to be an odd assumption to make.

IMO unless it is known that the child lives with mummy and daddy who are mr and mrs it would make more sense to address things to "parent guardian of"

Perhaps it is just an especially senstive topic for me as when we went for the various appointments DS was the only child in the waiting room only accompained by one parent - all the others had two with them. So actually perhaps it was the correct assumption to make. Is ok for all of the parents who are indeed "mr and mrs" of course it wouldn;t bother them and I am sure it wouldn;t bother me if I were lucky enough to be in that situation, rather than coping with every thing on my own - things like that letter just feel like rubbing salt in the wound so I am over sensitive!