to feel upset about family trying to rip my dad off?

[whethergirl]

My dad used to be married to my cousin's wife's mum (for just a few years). My dad and my cousin fell out over something business related some years ago. I have always tried to maintain a distance in family feuds and don't like to get involved and am one of the few who isn't on non-talking terms with anyone. I do get on well with my cousin and his wife and see them when I can.

Although seperated some years ago, the divorce is just going through and my dad just emailed to say that his ex wants a divorce on condition he buy her house for £150k. My dad is absoloutely furious and I know he doesn't have this kind of money - he would have to sell his properties that he rents out which is basically his pension. Even I don't own my own house and on benefits.

My dad has just now emailed me to ask that I stop all contact with my cousin, his wife and her mother. He wrote a very emotional email, obviously raging, I quote "Nobody can hurt me without hurting you. unless you don't have any feelings for me as your father".

I am a bit hurt that anyone would try to take the piss out of my dad, and also everyone knows that I am struggling financially so this is bound to have an effect on me, my dad's properties are the only thing he has to leave behind for his children. I am quite surprised cos my dad's ex always thought the world of me.

Am I being unreasonable to feel that they are being two faced and deceitful? That they are not thinking twice about the consequences this will have on my life?

[LauriefairycakeeatsCupid]

No, it's your dad putting you in this position. Refuse to be put there.

The courts will decide how they marital assets will be split.

I would stay out of it if I were you and see them if and when you want. Don't be guilted into anything by your dad.

And support him too in other ways

[whethergirl]

That's definitely a good way of looking at things, thanks Laurie. And I do feel my dad has put me in a position, he shouldn't have mentioned it to me really, involving me in the divorce details.

However, I feel that it would be strange, since I do now know, not to mention anything to them (my cousin, his wife and her mother) but don't know how to approach it. I'm a single parent on housing benefit, my DREAM is to have my own home and they know it. My only chance is through my dad. I know that might not sound great, and if it wasn't for my son then I wouldn't even be thinking along those lines. And they may have fallen out with my dad, but this is MY dad after all. Like I said, they were only married a few years, it'd be different if it was 12 years of marriage or something.