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AIBU?

AIBU to think that our friends should not have invited us around (37 wks pg) when their LOs were getting over a vom and dia bug?

18 replies

cfc · 15/04/2009 19:26

My husband and I and a group of other friends and their LOs (inc a small baby) were invited to my lovely friends' house for an Easter Egg hunt last weekend. I am 37 weeks pregnant.

When we get there they mentioned that their boys were getting over another vom and squitty bum bug.

We ALL get this, and my friend passes it to the whole of her in-laws and the babies too.

I have the constitution of an ox and still was up for a whole night and day chucking up and on the loo, as was my DH. We couldn't go visiting his parents or nan as we didn't want to pass it onto them and spent the nicest of days of the weekend in bed looking at it through the window.

We're just over it now and baby is back to normal movements, thank goodness.

Do you think that they should have told us that the boys had been ill and given us the choice of attending as opposed to casually dropping it into conversation when we got there? Esp bearing in mind I'm pregnant and the little baby was coming too?

Wdyt?

OP posts:

Report

rubyslippers · 15/04/2009 19:27

yes of course she should have mentioned it

i am fairly laid back about colds etc but D & V is nasty

FrannyandZooey · 15/04/2009 19:27

yes with d+v it is very selfish not to let people have the choice imo

KERALA1 · 15/04/2009 19:30

YANBU those bugs can spread like wildfire. Esp with you being so pregnant.

wonderingwondering · 15/04/2009 19:31

Drives me mad, why can't people just stay away from others until they are sure they are clear of it. It's hardly news that it is highly contagious. And very unpleasant and inconvenient. I would let them know that they passed it on and ruined a lot of people's weekends - you don't have to be aggressive but I would say that in future I'd really rather have the choice.

compo · 15/04/2009 19:33

yanbu
some people just don't think

Toffeepopple · 15/04/2009 19:33

Ridiculous.

My DD threw up spectacularly last night. I suspected it was something she ate last night rather than a bug, but still cancelled the things we were doing today. It's only fair.

fledtoscotland · 15/04/2009 19:35

YANBU. coughs and colds are part of everyday life but D&V in nasty and highly contagious

cfc · 15/04/2009 19:44

Believe me, one friend (the one who passed it to her in-laws) has let them know in no uncertain terms that she's pissed!

DH is more annoyed than I am, but we've been so conscientious, cleaning everything as we're staying up with my mum this weekend and don't want her to get it. We've been in my room, more or less the whole time, so it really has been crap.

Oh well. Lesson learned for the future methinks. More thought needed.

OP posts:

Sassybeast · 15/04/2009 19:54

You ALL got it ? Doesn't anyone ever wash their hands ?

BalloonSlayer · 15/04/2009 21:09

How old were her boys?

I sometimes think the quarantine thing about D&V doesn't really sink in until the children are at school.

I was at a mum and toddler group the other week when a mum was talking quite loudly about her DS's tummy upset. He was nearly better but it was clear it hadn't been 24 hours since his last episode. And indeed there was another "episode" during the session. I was a bit but then thought whether I would have known to stay away for 24 hours after the last event when my eldest was 2, and I am not sure I would have done.

I do agree YANBU, I am only trying to soothe things a little .

MoreLikeMiranda · 15/04/2009 21:59

Well I have to say I am totally surprised to see that people are supportive of you on here... I am too for the record, definitely YANBU

Its just that I am always reading on here that germs are good for you and you should let randoms in the street touch your child as it builds the immune system (I am a no-touching allowed person).

Maybe I spoke too soon and those people haven't cottoned on yet and will soon start telling you that you are YABU and it is good for you and your family to get ill as builds your immune system.

mumto2andnomore · 15/04/2009 22:19

You say they were getting over it, how long since they had any symptoms ? If less than 48 hours yes they should have told you.

cfc · 15/04/2009 22:23

The boys are nearly 1 and 2 years 6 months.

I know that the doctors would tell you to stay away from playgroups or work (if an adult) for at least 48 hours after the last episode, I thought that was pretty common knowledge, tbh. Along with hygiene and cleaning bathroom and door handles and bedsheets and towels etc etc which you've been in contact with when poorly. I am not a doctor, but this is common sense, surely?!

Yes, we all got it. Every last one of us and like I said extended family.

I know that germs are good for you, I was brought up on a farm and my mother, an Irish nurse, is totally pragmatic about such things and I think this is why I am never, ever sick (apart from this!). But some consideration for a pregnant woman and other babies is in order - and D&V and a norovirus type viral infection doesn't do you any good, whereas my mum was the first to take us round to other kids' houses when they had chicken pox as they are 'good' germs (apparently!).

OP posts:

cfc · 15/04/2009 22:25

ps not too sure how long since their last episodes.

OP posts:

whistlejacket · 15/04/2009 22:43

YANBU they should have let you know before you went round so you could make the choice whether you went or not. Catching colds and similar stuff is prob a good immune system booster but not v & d.

A friend of mine has recently moved to New York, she came back to visit and on the flight here sat behind a family whose children had this. Then she and her family were all ill instead of catching up with everyone they'd come to see. Should you take your children on a flight if they have it? Tricky one.

mum23monkeys · 15/04/2009 23:08

YANBU

My eldest ds is really susceptible to d and V and will often vomit badly for several days when he catches a bug. It really irritates me when I can trace the source of the bug and its because somebody else has not been diligent about the 48 hour rule (this happened this holidays. I was chatting with a mum in the playground who said her daughter (my son's best friend) had been off school the previous day because of d and v, but was back as she was 'fine'. School broke up that day and within 24 hours my ds was hanging over a bowl)

Then the next week we met up with another friend who said her dc had each been vomiting sporadically over the past few days. "but they weren't really ill, so it was ok" We left, quickly.

It's boring for those couple of days after a bug has left the house, but do you really want to be responsible for passing it on?

accordiongirl · 16/04/2009 23:02

I think there needs to be a public education programme about this! I'm phobic (literally) about D&V bugs and I can't stand the way people aren't more careful. I think your freinds were completely thoughtless and inconsiderate. It's only cos people don't take 48 hour precaustions that these bugs take such a hold of everyone all the time. I don't remember everyone getting struck down like this all the time in the 70s.

We were at our swimming lesson the other week and one of the other mummies proudly told her friend that her boy was sick three times in the night - and she bought him swimming that morning. I got mine dressed fast as can be and skedaddled and was in a bad mood all day!

accordiongirl · 16/04/2009 23:03

Hope you're feeling better by the way and all going well with the final stages!

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