.....to hope that my nieces and nephews send a thank you card when i send them gifts

[ilovespagbol]

ok a card might be seen as old fashioned but surely its polite to send some sort of acknowledgement? what do others do? the youngest is six, oldest is 13.

[2shoes]

mine never do.
I get annoyed, so I just get ds(17) to ring and say thank you

[screamingabdab]

YANBU.
I have 2 sons age 5 and 8, and they always send thankyou cards to everyone who has bought them presents (occasionally an email with a photo attached).

[screamingabdab]

I'm not saying they do it willingly, mind you!

[LIZS]

ours only do after a visits to the gp's

[Beantin]

Mine never do - 6 years it's been going on - drives me mad! I think my sister is out of order for not even recognising the effort (and cost) involved in this, esp when I have been living a long way away for years and had to find stuff that can post, etc. It doesn't take a lot to drop a line or send a picture that they've drawn to say thanks. My DS is still a newborn but I intend on sending thank yous from him in the next week to people who've sent stuff to him.

[PortBlacksandResident]

YABU - it never occurs to me that they should send them nor do i expect them.

Life is short, no?

[sausagenmash]

There was a thread about this around Christmas time re: Christmas presents and thank you letters. It got quite heated! I think an acknowledgement is nice, although my brother doesn't say / do anything on behalf of my nephews (8 and 5). However, when the present goes to their Mum's (ie his ex wife) though, she always sends a thank you note!

[bigTillyMint]

Mine do because I make them send them to all "older" relatives or friends This is because older people expect it - it good manners!

Between my friends with children, we don't bother with sending thank-you's - just say it at the time or email, etc.

[ilovespagbol]

exactly, Beantin! I had my first child before christmas and sent thank you cards on her behalf to all the people who had sent things. they are as thoughtless when they are given personally, xmas is especially bad, they would be grabbing at the presents and then tossing them aside with disinterest as they were never that expensive or fancy as i could not afford much. some birthdays are coming up and i am tempted to send a card only. they dont go without, they have everything they want and more.

[MummyDoIt]

I actually didn't send my brother's two kids birthday presents this year. I never see them - they live 250 miles away and, even when I visit my home town, my brother doesn't bring them to see me. I don't know them. To be honest, I doubt I'd recognise them if I walked past them in the street. Neither they nor my brother ever acknowledge the fact that I give them gifts, and I always spend around £15. My brother doesn't send birthday cards or gifts to my DSs so this year I decided not to bother.

I usually do a thank-you letter on the computer from my DSs, with a picture of them opening their presents or their birthday party. They are a bit too young to write lots of letters (6 and 5) but they have to sign each letter. As they get older, I will make them write the letters themselves. I don't mind if people don't write thank you letters but some kind of acknowledgement is nice.

[ilovespagbol]

portsblacksandresident, you are right, life is too short to spend money on children who don't appreciate it!

[SerendipitousHarlot]

Blimey. Are they supposed to send thankyou cards? Where's that in the manual?

[Ronaldinhio]

I do it on their behalf as they are so young but got to the stage where I felt a muppet for thanking people in general my SA inlaws in particular as they never mentioned even receiving gifts from us.
Manners cost nothing

[Littlefish]

My brother's children never send them. They are old enough to be able to write their own.

It makes me really cross as I usually send them by post, so I never even know whether they've arrived, unless I make the effort to phone them and check.

I really think the onus should be on the children, or my DB/SIL to phone me and at least let me know they've arrived.

[mumnosbest]

Mine (I) send cards to family but it drives me mad when I get lovely home made cards after kids birthday parties. It's a nice thought but then I feel like I ought to send thankyou cards after my DCs parties and I don't, That's a little OTT IMO

[MaryAnnSingleton]

YANBU not at all - this is where I'm always getting on my high horse - everyone should write thank you notes !!

[WinkyWinkola]

I always send thank yous. I like people to know their time and money is much appreciated.

But to be honest, I don't mind anymore if I don't get thank yous back. Some people just don't work that way or can't be bothered i.e. my brothers. That's fine but I'd not punish their kids for it. DH thinks it's a very poor show indeed and would prefer that we don't send gifts to relatives who can't be bothered to say thank you.

I think just do what you think their children would like and try not to get annoyed about their seeming ungraciousness.

[bodiddly]

I think it is basic good manners to send a thank you when given a gift at any age! I am the only one on either side of our families that bothers (for ds who is 4) and it drives me mad that I take time to try and buy decent presents and we don't even get a basic acknowledgment let alone a thank you. If you cant be bothered to write surely you can at least pick up the phone or send a bloody text! Sorry ... this has touched a sore point with me. People take things for granted methinks!

[Juicygirlpink]

I am 27 & still send thank you's at christmas & birthdays (hand written in a card) to my grandparents, parents & il's. DH was never bought up to do so & never does. We have two nephews who I always buy gifts & cads for (sent for the day & I put time & effort into gifts) never once had a thankyou! In fact we don't even get a card from our b & sil at christmas & birthdays! (I would not expect a gift for us anyways!) nephews are 12 & 9- will be interesting to see if this 'gift horse' is still giving this year when our dc will be born- is he/she gets forgotten I will be really hurt.

[SerendipitousHarlot]

Oh, so you're counting phone calls or texts to say thank you? If you've had no thanks at all, then that's bloody rude.

I thought you meant it had to be a handwritten letter.

[SalVolatile]

YANBU at all, and I would stop sending stuff. If asked you could say that it seemed to always get lost in the post so you gave up sending stuff . Mine all started very young and see it as a matter of routine to do it.

[ChocFudgeCake]

Only phone calls here.

[ilovespagbol]

so its not just me then..... my nephews and nieces have yet to say thanks for the xmas presents and a phone call or text would suffice. i do think my brothers should encourage them to be polite and i think i will now just send cards!

[tootyflooty]

I only send thankyou cards (or phone calls) for gifts that have been sent, if the present has been handed over in person, I feel a thankyou at the time is sufficient.