To think crazy old men should keep their opinions to themselves and not start shouting at women and children they don't know?

[SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore]

On the way home from dancing we walked through the town. DD1 refused to put on her coat and only had her dance gear and cardigan on .

Her reasons were that she wasn't cold. Now fighting over whether or not she wears a coat doesn't seem important enough to fight over. If she starts getting cold she will put on her coat. If not the cold won't hurt her.

Some stupid crazy old man came over because dd1 was whinging

[tengreenbottles]

every town has at least one ,now you have seen him ,you can cross the road next time he comes into view on the horizon

[VoodooTheOriginal]

its always best not to retaliate as you can never be sure with oddities like that, he could have flipped and attacked you/kids.

stupid old sod.

[VoodooTheOriginal]

there is an old guy who lives down road near us, sits on a low wall on warm days and shouts at passers by.

When I had dd ( and had a really tough time, felt v. fragile and was just venturing out) he yelled at me 'nice baby, where did you put the other one?'
that had me puzzled for a while.

next time we saw him he shouted at dd 'stick with Big Mummy, you'
I was amused and tried not to be offended!

third time he told me how beautifully turned out my kids were, and really made my day.

[SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore]

Yes I thought that Voodoo, that is why I was even more that dh just carried on walking and left me to deal with the crazy man. Apparently he heard nothing

[VoodooTheOriginal]

an old woman called my sister a bitch in her local shop!!!

my poor sister was on her own with her ds in a buggy, the woman was annoyed that she had brought the buggy into the shop and took up a lot of room!!

obviously she didnt realise times had changed since 1894 when you could safely leave a baby in a pram outside and do your weekly green grocering without fear anyone would nick it!!!!!!!
my sister cried it was upsetting

[VoodooTheOriginal]

[MrsMattie]

There are nutters at every turn. Don't sweat it

[SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore]

lol Voodoo. Poor you.

[CousCousWuss]

We have a similar old man living near us. He runs behind parents and gives them tips of parenting their youngsters. Sometimes he gives them a lecture if he feels they're not doing it right. One time there was a baby in a pram outside a front door (in a front garden) and the front door was open. He went in the garden and shouted through the door

"Excuse me, this baby shouldn't be out here by herself ... excuse me ...."

and when nobody answered him he made his way into the house to find someone!!

How he's not been attacked before I'll never know

[unpaidworker]

YANBU, he should'nt have shouted at you or your DD.

YABU not to make your DD wear a coat when it is cold.

[pointydog]

he sound sa bit bonkers. I'd feel bemused and maybe a little sorry for him.

[pointydog]

I can't help imagining mad old people as tiny babies with a mum who loved themn.

[LucyEllensmummy]

unpaidworker - it was you wasn't it?? My DD refused her coat yesterday - i was cold so can only assume she was, but she seemed quite happy. She only had to ask for it but for some reason children dont seem to feel the cold when they are having fun.

I feel sorry for this old man, its quite possible he was "a bit bonkers" or put more sympathetically - suffering from alzheimers. Yes it was out of order, you are justified in being angry but you handled it really well. I would just forget it, and avoid avoid avoid should you see him again. Shame, poor old sod.

[minouminou]

I must be incredibly lucky, because I only tend to get positive feedback from old nutters eccentrics - it's middle-aged women who seem to go for me and DS.
Although they only try it once, and end up backing off with a worried look.
Just remind yourselves that they're probably not very well, and may be reliving their own childhood traumas/experiences.

[tigerdriver]

Obviously it's a bit of a shame for him, or maybe he's just a grumpy old interfering B***R.

I would go for the tactic of muttering "fuck off" under my breath, then when challenged pretend not to speak English. Works a treat.

[Greatfun]

My FIL has alzheimers and could have done this at the beginning of his illness. He would often have odd outbursts at strangers for nothing. It may not be as clear cut as you think.

[SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore]

lol @ pretending not to speak english. I normally do that to telesales people

unpaidworker I only choose to fight the bigger battles. If she had been running riot in the road I would have made her stop. The coat thing is just not worth the hassle/tears. I know from experience she will put it on when she gets cold enough.

She had just been dancing for an hour and may have been hot. At 5 years old I expect her to be old enough to know if she is cold or not.

[minouminou]

pointydog - i do that too
there's a particular bag-lady around central oxford, and last weekend we saw her with her bags and rags, propped up against a wall scarfing down a chocolate dip-stick thingie, and scraping the pot as if her life depended on it
as we walked past i said to DP - "just think, she was someone's lovely baby once", and he replied "how does someone end up so.....destroyed?".
it is annoying when some old git person mouths off, but you need to take a step back and try and feel sorry for them.

[minouminou]

I think, too, that by letting him run off, the OP did the right thing. The fact he said "I can'#t be bothered with this" hints that he's got ishoos that are probably nothing to do with her and her daughter

[twentypence]

So...It's okay for your dd to be 5

Not wear a coat, whinge for 50p, cry when she is frightened...

It's apparently not okay for an old man to act like an old man

Be on the street, possibly in the first stages of dementia, seeing a girl who he thought would be cold and trying to help...

No, sorry I can't see it.

[SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore]

I wouldn't have minded him coming up and asking her if she wanted her coat, or even tellig her she should be wearing it. But I don't like strangers shouting at her.

If he had a possible illness then he should not be left unattended on the steets for his own safety as much as others.

[LucyEllensmummy]

Sorry, but i have to pull you up on this "If he had a possible illness then he should not be left unattended on the steets for his own safety as much as others. " I am sorry that this man shouted at your DD, but that could have so easily been my father in the early stages of dementia. The thing about dementia is it comes on slowly - you start to notice small changes in personality, so something like you describe, perfectly feasible. It is sporadic too, so one day he would be 100% and never dream of doing such a thing, but another day - and the sad thing is, my dad loved children, he would have been concerned about your DD (old people have a thing about coats!) and would have struggled to articulate it - which is what this man sounded like.

I pray to God, you never have to reach the point with one of your loved ones that they can't be left unnatened. Because it is the uncharitable attitudes of others that made, for us at least, the first stages of his condition even harder to cope with.

[minouminou]

You're right shesells, but many old people are surprisingly isolated, and have no-one who will notice bizarre/deteriorating behaviour and get them help
i posted a couple of weeks ago on a thread about an old woman who swung her shopping at DS in his pram - it was my calling the community support officers, who then referred her to social services, which got her the support she needed, as she was in the early/middle stages of dementia, and had NO-ONE
It's difficult - you have the mad tigress instinct on one hand, and compassion for a sick, lonely old person on the other, and it really helps to take a step outside the situation, as you will get rid of a lot of the anger that way, and maybe help someone

[atowncalledalice]

Minouminou, is the old lady in Central Oxford called Maria? She's short, fat and Italian, and dripping in costume jewellery.