DH really embarrassed me earlier

(103 Posts)
LeatherOnLeather Thu 05-Feb-09 22:23:59

We were invited around to friends for dinner tonight. They got the wii out and we had a play around on some of their party games. We were having a really good laugh. Then when it was my turn I was doing this ski jump thing where you have to bend down and DH shouted "OPEN YOUR LEGS!" but in a really rough 'docker' type voice. Everyone was in hysterics, one was actually having trouble beathing and had to leave the room she was laughing so much and DH just kept repeating it over and over again. I tried to ignore him, laugh along and carry on with the game but I felt like everyone was laughing at me.

I didn't cause a scene there but I'm really annoyed with him. he says I'm being unreasonable and childish. Wouldn't you lot react the same way or am I making a big deal out of nothing?

PenelopePitstops Thu 05-Feb-09 22:26:04

does he do this regularly?

if so yanbu

if it was a one off, its just a joke

suwoo Thu 05-Feb-09 22:26:31

I would have just said something like "I won't be opening my legs for you tonight, knobhead" or "thats how he normally propositions me, he's such a charmer" or othe similar lines. Don't let it bother you, he's a prick grin.

ScottishMummy Thu 05-Feb-09 22:27:41

yes i imagine everyone was laughing at you both.dh sound ghastly.like a porn master.fret not you wont be invited back

ChiefMangosuthuButhelezi Thu 05-Feb-09 22:28:00

saying it once would have been a laugh, but repeating it would have pissed me off, so no, yanbu.

GivePeasAChance Thu 05-Feb-09 22:28:07

SOunds vaguely funny and imagine that because you tried to ignore/were slightly cross, it became funnier in that "please stop laughing now " way.

Not worth a row IMO

tankie Thu 05-Feb-09 22:28:57

Sounds like he was just making a joke to me - they were laughing at him rather than you tbh.

tiredsville Thu 05-Feb-09 22:29:07

Should have said, "well you don't really make them worth opening, do you?"

frumpygrumpy Thu 05-Feb-09 22:29:27

Sounds to me like they were laughing at him. And he felt important and so kept saying it. I don't think it had anything to do with you actually.

MuchLessTiredNow Thu 05-Feb-09 22:30:17

sounds a bit like (not knowing your DH) - he was getting a laugh so milked it and did not mean to be personal... stupid, but I would not die in a ditch over it

Am I the only one who thinks it's funny?! Surely not.....

Would have found it boring eventually though.....once is funny, but him going on about it just shows a lack of intelligence really.

Tigerschick Thu 05-Feb-09 22:30:47

Tho it probably didn't feel like it at the time, they were almost definitely laughing at the comment/situation, not at you. ... don't know if that makes any difference.

DH has done similar to me before. I left it for a bit, until I'd calmed down, then said something along the lines of; "I know you think that I'm over-reacting but I was hurt by what you said. I just thought you should know that, I know it was meant as a joke but I didn't like it." It wasn't that straight out but that was the sentiment. I think it's important to let him know how you feel but to do it calmly.

Lemontart Thu 05-Feb-09 22:31:11

If this is typical of him not reading your mood and being generally insensitive/getting cheap laughs at your expense, you have every right to be pissed off. Not nice, quite immature and selfish.
If it is a one off, be annoyed, tell him if you think he might listen and learn, then let it go. Life is too short to let every badly made joke become a huge deal worthy of hours of stress and angst.

ANamesANameForAThatsTaken Thu 05-Feb-09 22:31:18

see, now I'd find that really funny grin

ScottishMummy Thu 05-Feb-09 22:33:52

nope you both sound like a pair of eejits.you emulating a ski jump.him rough porno voice

you could have said no.acted decisively
gained some composure

so yes they were laughing at you both

oliviasmama Thu 05-Feb-09 22:37:22

Nah, it's nothing - just a bit of a laugh and when everyone thaught he was really funny he was then riding on the crest of the wave.

wink be cool.

moondog Thu 05-Feb-09 22:38:51

<guffaw> esp. at person who couldn't breathe.

wtf is a 'porn master?

ChippingIn Thu 05-Feb-09 22:39:43

Yes & No. Sounds like the kind of thing most of my group of friends would say and we'd all be laughing, by then I'd have failed the ski jump.... good night had by all.

However, if this was with a group of people you don't know so well, then once might have been passably funny... to continue it on does show a lack of sensitivity....

ScottishMummy - have you had a bad day??

ScottishMummy Thu 05-Feb-09 22:41:11

you all sound like a laugh-a-feckin-minute set.pissing about on wii with porno commentary


LeatherOnLeather Thu 05-Feb-09 22:41:59

and you sound like a barrel of laughs.

hobbgoblin Thu 05-Feb-09 22:43:24

Should have just said 'I am, any wider and we'd lose you dahhhhhhling. If it were my personal trainer/Friday masseuse/Ski instructor/whatever then of course I'd open wider'

And then give him a 'you vile little man' look.

ScottishMummy Thu 05-Feb-09 22:45:35

this is so inane,and maybe a wind up.so your dh denigrates you in front of friends.so umm to not make scene you continue to do a ski jump????

grow a back bone- dont like dont do it
tell him to be quiet
refrain from daftness,which appears to bring out dh inner sleaze

hobbgoblin Thu 05-Feb-09 22:46:40

and if feeling particularly lacking in humour and up for a fight say something porntastically withering to the woman wetting herself. Maybe try Fiona Fanjo-dabulous over there with the Tena lady if you like capacious'

TrinityRhino Thu 05-Feb-09 22:48:30

whats wrong with pissing about on the wii?

LeatherOnLeather Thu 05-Feb-09 22:50:44

The ski jump was part of the game! If I'd got off the board after he said it I'd have looked even more stupid.

moondog Thu 05-Feb-09 22:51:50

Hilarious SM.
Someone more sour than moi.

Wiis are bloody sad thoguh aren't thry.
If my social life consisted of pretending to ski i someone's living room i would slit my wrists.

ScottishMummy Thu 05-Feb-09 22:52:23

well not standard instructions:husband shouts porno instructions,and you comply.friends dissolve laughing

ScottishMummy Thu 05-Feb-09 22:52:26

well not standard instructions:husband shouts porno instructions,and you comply.friends dissolve laughing

oliviasmama Thu 05-Feb-09 22:54:06

Uh oh - this threads all going a bit wrong.

Keep it in perspective - it's all a bit of a laugh isn't it.

ScottishMummy Thu 05-Feb-09 22:55:32

i have more bonhomie than pretending to ski in my friend's lounge.what next virtual knitting?extreme ironing

girlandboy Thu 05-Feb-09 22:58:52

Well I enjoy playing tennis in my lounge.

And I'm absolutely fab at cow racing.wink

OP - I think you should have come back at your dh with a witty riposte! Don't take it too personally. He made a joke, but didn't know when to stop. I should just let it go, it's not worth getting upset over.

moondog Thu 05-Feb-09 22:59:21

Bonhomie SM?!
You wouldn't know the meaning of the word! grin

MamaG Thu 05-Feb-09 23:01:11

ROFL at suwoo "I won't be opening my legs for you tonight, knobhead"

girlandboy Thu 05-Feb-09 23:02:09

Bonhomie definition - A pleasant and affable disposition; geniality

Don't really understand SM's sentence.......hmm

moondog Thu 05-Feb-09 23:02:55


MamaG Thu 05-Feb-09 23:03:24

and ROFL at moondog "If my social life consisted of pretending to ski i someone's living room i would slit my wrists."

TheYearOfTheCat Thu 05-Feb-09 23:08:36

SM - snurk.

(SM's no 1 fan here) (not in a scary Kathy Bates Misery way though)

girlandboy Thu 05-Feb-09 23:09:27

Cow racing in my lounge is far preferable to real life cow racing in a snowy field!wink

tiredsville Thu 05-Feb-09 23:09:54

Yes I cackled at moondog's comment too, but like girlandboy am partial to a spot of tennis in the lounge.

moondog Thu 05-Feb-09 23:10:31

cow racing????

Fuck me.


Don't you have something more useful to do with your time?

tiredsville Thu 05-Feb-09 23:12:09

Ok, now moondog is not funny.

girlandboy Thu 05-Feb-09 23:12:13


MamaG Thu 05-Feb-09 23:13:18

I'm very pleased that we don't have a farking wii

moondog Thu 05-Feb-09 23:15:50

It's nowt but that antiquated habit formerly known as 'talking' when the Moondogs have friends call by.

MamaG Thu 05-Feb-09 23:17:10

TBH I'd be horrified if I went round to a mate's house for alcohol and talk and was expected to race cows ont telly <purses lips>

WideWebWitch Thu 05-Feb-09 23:18:28

lol at Moondog's indignation.

moondog Thu 05-Feb-09 23:19:06

So would I.
I am still recovering from the fact that the last time I went to one of my friend's houses for dinner, we had to stop and watch final of some Goddawful SAndrew Lloyd Webber thing to find a Nancy.

Unbelievable. Like I give a shit.

MamaG Thu 05-Feb-09 23:19:57

God thats dreadful

moondog Thu 05-Feb-09 23:20:31

So was the wine.

MamaG Thu 05-Feb-09 23:22:20


<<makes note NEVER to invite moondog round due to cheap box of wine in pantry>>

soapbox Thu 05-Feb-09 23:34:10

This thread is hilarious - Moondog in particular had me reaching for the Tena Ladygrin

BitOfsexyFunbutnotupthebum Thu 05-Feb-09 23:43:42

Just wallop him and take it as a joke grin

Ashantai Fri 06-Feb-09 00:00:46

Cripes, some peeps have had a humour bypass tonight! This is so not a big deal imo. I'd have laughed it off and given my oh a slap grin

Oh and for some of us poor bastards, virtual skiing is the nearest we will get to the real thing!grin

Tortington Fri 06-Feb-09 00:18:48

lordy! what a sour puss, barrel of laughs to be around

JodieO Fri 06-Feb-09 02:06:16

I wouldn't find it funny tbh.

roselle Fri 06-Feb-09 02:29:15

Don't think I'd be bothered by it but that's not really the point, you were bothered by it and so he shouldn't do it. If you are not laughing with him he is having a joke at your expense. Tell him.

Wizzska Fri 06-Feb-09 16:07:55

Oh my goodness some people on here are soooo superior. Personally I see nothing wrong with cow racing, or ski jumping, or Wii boxing and have never thought of slitting my wrists. Lighten up fgs!

The open legs comment sounds a bit dumb to be honest, as you wouldn't so that to ski jump. It was just a comment though, I'd not take it as a personal attack. They were probably all laughing at him rather than you though.

Ashantai - well said.

ScottishMummy - are you aware that Extreme Ironing is a real sport. Well "real" enough to be on telly. Wiki it, and risk losing the will to live...

OP - I have no clue, probably just a joke. Doesn't sound like my sort of evening must admit.

Wigglesworth Fri 06-Feb-09 16:57:56

I would have said "I wouldn't have to open them very far, you're hardly a girth monster". It sounded like he was joking to me, although a crude one, stay one step ahead with the humiliation would be my advice.

Wigglesworth Fri 06-Feb-09 17:00:36

When we go round to our friends we all play x-box live, I love abusing people online when they start taunting me after being shot on COD 4.

LOL @ moondog

I'd slit mine too

pointydog Fri 06-Feb-09 17:09:17

Mmm. I quite fancy dh speaking to me in a rough docker type voice tonight. I think I'll request it.

claw3 Fri 06-Feb-09 17:11:32

Is this a wind up, youre asking are you being childish while playing on a wii?

pointydog Fri 06-Feb-09 17:11:46

this is one of the funniest ops I've read in a long time.

moondog Fri 06-Feb-09 17:13:15

Aye, me too PD.
Much better than a bleating-in-a-fleece-while-heating-up-a-readymeal type of way.

I love a bit of rough (well quite a lot come to think of it), me.

LynetteScavo Fri 06-Feb-09 17:14:25

I take it he was drinking and you were driving.

moondog Fri 06-Feb-09 17:15:26

Sounds like he wanted to do the driving.
If you get my drift.

dollius Fri 06-Feb-09 17:16:06

This is the funniest thread I've read in ages

pointydog Fri 06-Feb-09 17:22:39

Tonight, why not trying virtual pool in teh front room and wear a low cut top to flash some cleavage. Then, the docker voice and you're laughing.

bangandthedirtisgone Fri 06-Feb-09 17:27:41

This OP is hilarious, like something out of the Mrs Mills column in the Sunday Times.

ScottishMummy Fri 06-Feb-09 17:35:06

extreme ironing- well slap my arse and call me Tallulah (in a deep docker voice)as i do a ski jump

the bon viveur in me favours the old fashioned come over,eat,drink.
what is fun about pretending to ski jump in front of my friends?maybe i could lie on the carpet and pretend swim?

DandyLioness Fri 06-Feb-09 17:40:06

ScottishMummy You mean you DON'T lie on your friends' carpets and pretend to do the breast-stoke when you're over for dinner? Some people have no class grin

claw3 Fri 06-Feb-09 17:49:41

Im seriously considering wii'ing in my friends living room, next time i have a drink

ScottishMummy Fri 06-Feb-09 17:54:45

DandyLioness,of course you are right i should get the speedos out the cupboard,get goggled up after wine.

i am indeed a suck ass to have never swam the lounge carpet,i shall herewith amend my ways. pah all that chatting about work and the like,when i could be having fun

DandyLioness Fri 06-Feb-09 17:57:49

ScottishMummy - don't forget pretending to horseride by straddling your friend's coffee table/sofa arm/husband ...

rofl at this thread...glad people recovered their humour grin

to Op...well...unless he is doing this all the time and has some different agenda...I would take it as a joke and as he got laughs he just thought he milk it some more...

as for Wii's...well...part of me wants one and part of me thinks it would be a crap non-investment...hohum...

pointydog Fri 06-Feb-09 19:58:06


I thought people wrer going to come upwith many more sexually suggestive ideas for wii/virtual games

I just cannot get that really rough 'docker' type voice out of my head. I love the inverted commas around 'docker'.

vjg13 Fri 06-Feb-09 20:14:08

I love the term 'porn master' and the definition. grin ROFL

moondog Fri 06-Feb-09 20:18:54

Ooh, where was the definition?
I missed that.

My friend one gorrof with a real life docker. She said that after coitus was completed, he lit a fag and flicked ash into his big rough docker's boot by the side of the bed.

lol at moondogs friends experience of a shock "real life docker"

oh, I missed the definition to porn master...

pointydog Fri 06-Feb-09 20:20:33

fucking hell.

sounds heavenly, moon

erm, of porn master, not to...duh

CandleQueen Fri 06-Feb-09 20:25:11

PMSL at Dandy straddling friends husband!

vjg13 Fri 06-Feb-09 20:27:05

Sorry, I thought it was the bit about husband shouting porno instructions and people complying, maybe that was just post dinner party wii playing definition!! grin


ScottishMummy Fri 06-Feb-09 20:39:56

porn master- dominant lascivious bossy man

moondog Fri 06-Feb-09 20:40:56

Sounds right up my street.

Jstbcsiamammsntr Fri 06-Feb-09 20:45:07

Wigglesworth - u play World at war?

vjg13 Fri 06-Feb-09 20:45:32

Would need the right accent though. grin

Kimi Fri 06-Feb-09 20:46:29

I can not say anything better then suwoo said, /makes note of it in case ever needed.

I think they were laughing at him not you by the way

beansontoast Fri 06-Feb-09 20:48:04

oh moondog...are you saying you have never even tried to pretend you are ski jumping/hurdling/bowling in someone else's sitting room?

it can be hilarious for that very reason...

picture the scene ''ooooh here i am on a wii...pretending to (insert verb here)in someone else's s.room...and oh... ha ha ha.. who would have thought that i such a stuck up prig...could be having such a good time doing just that?''

you might have the time of your life grin...or just a good laugh...you might be really good ,and that's even funnier!

ScottishMummy Fri 06-Feb-09 20:51:59

"docker" accent -i imagine it as Newcastle or scouser accent.vocal cords Thickened by fags and alchol.

did no one think op was wind up?LOL=Land of leather

moondog Fri 06-Feb-09 20:54:20

Christ no BOT.
Never tried and never will.When and if I need exercise, the real thing does me.A walk or a run or a swim.

All that electrical malarkey just depresses me.

pointydog Fri 06-Feb-09 20:55:46

"I such a stuck up prig"?! lol. Surprisingly, I have never thought that either

pointydog Fri 06-Feb-09 20:56:53

yes, SM. <slaver>. Geordie would be nice

scottish...didn't even look at the lol connection...and it probably is a wind up thread....who cares...

moonboots Fri 06-Feb-09 21:02:08

Can I just mention that I have just joined Mumsnet and this is one of the first discussions I have read. Is this a joke or what? Is someone actually upset about this or is my plonker being pulled? Hilarious though and yes, I too have that rough docker's voice goin through my head....

ScottishMummy Fri 06-Feb-09 21:03:27

hell it has been funny.the imagery of the porn master shouting "porn your legs" to ski jump wife as friends look on


vjg13 Fri 06-Feb-09 21:03:44

Noooo Geordie would be awful. I'd want Sean Connery type assertive.

beansontoast Fri 06-Feb-09 21:07:51

all the wiring and configuration freaks me out too moondog...that is why it has to be in someone else's house!

(i do have a soft spot for your trad/old school ways you know smile..night)

moondog Fri 06-Feb-09 21:08:32

<resumes spinning hand gathered wool>

pointydog Fri 06-Feb-09 21:44:16

yeah, go and strain some cheese, moon

pointydog Fri 06-Feb-09 21:44:33

live it up a little, throw your clogs off

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