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AIBU?

To lock DP in his shed?

37 replies

jennieflower · 24/01/2009 12:36

OK so the background story.

We have 2 children, DD aged 6, DS aged 4 months. He promised to quit smoking when we were expecting DD and managed to stop for about 3 months. Since then he's been promising to quit one day but never actually done anything about it.

He faithfully promised me he'd quit again by the time DS was born, and did so for about 2 months, he started up about a month before he was born and actually went for a half hour fag break when I was in labour, when he finally got back I was fully dilated and ready to push

He gave up again 3 weeks ago, I'm really supportive and give him lots of encouragement, DD is really aware of the dangers of smoking and begs him to stop, she even gave him a nicotine patch when he got up this morning.

So a little while ago he was acting suspiciously, he went out to the garden shed and I sneaked out and caught him having a fag. I was so angry I just locked the door behind him.

He's been out there for about 40 minutes, OK I know IABU but short of throwing him out what else can I do?

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gigglinggoblin · 24/01/2009 12:38

lol i dont know if yabu but its understandable

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aGalChangedHerName · 24/01/2009 12:39

lol is he not shouting to get out??

That's funny

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MmeLindt · 24/01/2009 12:40

You can't force or blackmail anyone to giving up smoking. I tried for years with my Dad.

YABVU to lock him in the shed.

Let him out and talk to him.

My Dad finally quit after going to smoking cessation classes (like Weightwatchers, you can keep going as long as you like).

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izyboy · 24/01/2009 12:41

40 mins - you mean business! He's probably puffed his way through the whole pack now tho'.

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jennieflower · 24/01/2009 12:50

Not sure if he's been shouting, I wouldn't be able to hear him anyway.

He probably has smoked the whole pack by now. What really irritates me is that he won't be annoyed with himself for the lack of willpower, but he'll be pissed off because I caught him.

I found a pouch of tobacco in his work bag last week, so challenged him about it, and had the usual conversation with him promising to stop. I fulled the pouch with ketchup and put it back in his bag!

I'm going to let him out at 1, DD's been out and checked and apparently he needs a wee.

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ShyBaby · 24/01/2009 12:51

You have to be kidding right?

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RupertTheBear · 24/01/2009 12:52

He should be over the worst of the cold turkey by about day five - just keep giving him food.

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aGalChangedHerName · 24/01/2009 12:53

Lol i still think it's funny but
Mmelindt is right. You cannot make him give up. Ask him to look into smoking cessation clinics. My parents did and they gave up a year ago.

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harleyd · 24/01/2009 12:54

you are a bloody nutjob!!
let the man out fgs

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mrsseanbean · 24/01/2009 12:56

You may find he has broken out and you no longer have a shed.

YABU of course, but I have often been tempted to do something similar. Go and have a peek and report back.

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MmeLindt · 24/01/2009 12:56

I would be absolutely furious if anyone did this to me.

And the ketchup in his smoking pouch.

He is a grown man. Even if you don't like him smoking, it is not your decision to make.

The more pressure you put on him, the less likely he is to stop.

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jennieflower · 24/01/2009 12:58

This shed is very well built, I know, it cost us nearly 4k just a few months ago! It's fully heated and he loves to spend hours pottering out there so he's probably enjoying himself. In fact he's probably in his element.

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mrsseanbean · 24/01/2009 12:59

He probably hasn't realised he's imprisoned then!

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jennieflower · 24/01/2009 13:00

I'm just going to let him out

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dsrplus8haggisandneeps · 24/01/2009 13:03

OMG - ive done a few nutty things in my time to exdh and dh(fed x laxitives, and planted dh pool trophies in the garden, made lovely shiny garden feature!), but thats too far-even for me lol. is he ok? .can you not try bribery instead, offer a bj for every day he doesnt have a fag? - he'll be stoped by the end of the week! lol

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jennieflower · 24/01/2009 13:06

He's out. He's being very sheepish but reckons it was funny! Have just emptied the remaining tobacco over the lawn but he's probably got a stash somewhere.

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MargeSimpsonMyAlterEgo · 24/01/2009 13:06

Average number of quits before being successful is 7, which means in reality that many people try to give up lots of times before they finally make it. It's an addiction and some people are so addicted that, even when they have had their cancerous trachea removed, they smoke through the hole in their neck. Unbelievable unless you have witnessed it. Be assertive but be understanding, and get him into a proper supported stop smoking programme. It's FREE.

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harleyd · 24/01/2009 13:09

you've emptied his tobacco out??
how the fuck dare you
bloody hell im surprised he hasnt lifted his coat and gone down the pub
maniac

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ShyBaby · 24/01/2009 13:13

You have a very understanding dp then.

If my partner locked me in a shed i'd be furious.

I can just imagine the response i'd get here if it was the other way around!

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10weeks · 24/01/2009 13:14

If the op had been male and had locked his dw in the shed I wonder how many posters would be shouting 'abusive husband' now?

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10weeks · 24/01/2009 13:15

x posts shybaby. My thoughts exactly!

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ShyBaby · 24/01/2009 13:16

Phone the police!!

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kittywise · 24/01/2009 13:16

bloody hell woman, what on earth do you think you are doing behaving like this? How shocking

Sounds like your dp needs the fags if you treat him like this.

Poor man

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mrsseanbean · 24/01/2009 13:19

I don't know, doing a bit of role reversal - if DH locked me in the kitchen (my den) with a box of chocs (my vice) - I'd probably be quite happy.

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harleyd · 24/01/2009 13:22

if anyone locked me anywhere on purpose, even if only for 5 mins, its highly likely that i would knock them clean out when they let me out

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