... to ask Has Anyone Seen My Kev?? ( the builder) .... Yeahinaminute here BTW !

[yeahinaminute]

Long Story short:

Bought new kitchen in October .... friend stored in her barn .... Good mate ... let's call him Kev for that is his name .. is a builder and he and his motely crew agreed to do the job ( BIG ... ceiling down, floor up, new leccies, plumbing etc)Price agreed ... now let's set a date ...

"So, Kev" says I ... "any chance before Christmas?"
"No probs YIAM .. we'll have you up and running in a couple of weeks"

October wends it's merry way into the dark of November ... which whistles along to December ....... (can you hear the tumbleweed??)
Now as I said before our Kev and his lovely family a very good friends ... during this time we have been to parties together, theirs for dinner ... ours for dinner etc and occassionally the kitchen ... or distinct lack of was brought up ....

So now we have pootled nicely to Dec 16th whereupon Kev informs
"Right then YIAM ... how about we make a start on the 20th?"
YES Dear Reader the TWENTIETH OF DECEMBER
" as politely as I could I replied that I did not think it would be in the best interests of my sanity and his ability to father any more children ( should he wish) if he entered my house with a crow bar and dust sheets ( purely ornamental)5 day's prior to Christmas Eve / Day when I will be required to feed, water and generally entertain 11 adults, 3 children and 3 dogs.

He got the message....

So this weekend our Kev sidles over as i am enjoying a much deserved libation in the pub ...

"Right than YIAM ... get cracking ... me and the lads'll be in on Wednesday to start ..." !!
" FAB - A - ROONIE ( apologies to the Tweenies there!) " I exclaim!
So Tues/Weds in between working, looking after the sainted ma who's staying ( and has a severe case of man flu) I clear the kitchen, utility etc of 10 years of accumulated detrius ( why do I have so many identical dishes etc when guaranteed I use the one nearest that has a broken lid/handle etc?)and store everything in the dining room, shed, wherever i possibly can, bought industrial quantities of sugar, Yorkshire tea and custard creams ready for the Off.

As an aside - I left a tiny proportion for DH to clear/dump/find a home for ... he came home from work on Tues eve at 7 and declared " Sure ... Yep, Yep ... I'll get that done ... what's for dinner, I'll have it later and have you seen my training top I'm off to touch rugby now" ... and like snow before the sun ... GONE

Anyway - I digress..... Kev arrived yesterday ..... kitchen, utility... GONE... ceilings ... GONE ..... Mess, dust ARRIVED, Dog .. TRAUMATISED ....So, he arrives again this morning with a Mahoosive drill bit and the ornamental dust sheets and in the time it took me to walk DD to school and take the dog over the fields ... about 45mins .... he's drilled the cable chasing in the walls the WHOLE house is covered in plaster dust ... and he's disappeaered ....

So the question is ... where's my Kev? ... can I have him back please? ... it's only day 2 and I thought he might stick around a bit longer than that.

[yeahinaminute]

OOOh I fibbed that wasn't very short was it .... Sorry - I deserve a ramble I feel ..!

[stleger]

Dave, his cousin, is doing my bathroom. Small, suite and tiles - since 17 October!

[hippipotamiWantsToLoseAPound]

No, that was not very short....
Nor have I seen your Kev!

But it was very very funny

Sorry, that is of no help is it....

[hippipotamiWantsToLoseAPound]

Err, just to add:
Not funny that your Kev has disappeared.
But very funny the way you tell the story!

[Twims]

Love the way you tell a story. YANBU

[youknownothingofthecrunch]

Beautifully narrated

But I haven't seen your Kev. I will wander the streets and call his name (softly incase anyone hears me) but I fear 'twill be for naught

[yeahinaminute]

OOh Stleger .. Do you think he may have gone to give cousin Dave a hand in your bathroom ?? ... I know he ( our Kev) is a whizz on a mitre joint ..

[DorisIsAPinkDragon]

No but he's probably off with my Nige, who I'm waiting to start on a garage floor

PMSL btw if you're not a writer you're wasted!!!

[yeahinaminute]

Start what exactly on a garage floor

[Buda]

Sorry can't help. But you do tell a rocking good yarn!

[eandh]

now I reckon your Kev must be somewhere chatting to my solicitor sanjay who I have left messages for every day this week plus 3 messages last week and am now resorting to ringing the switchboard to ask if he ever actually listens to his voicemail as I would quite like to speak to him at some point this year

[SunflowerNeedsSunshine]

Mike his mate was meant to be here nearly 7 years ago!! hope your Kev hasn't joined him...

and agree with Doris, you should write!!

[yeahinaminute]

I may have to resort to putting posters up on trees, telephone poles etc ... I'll see if I can find a suitably sad/cute piccie of him

LOST 1 male caucasian, un - neutered, answers to the name Kev.

Very friendly and outgoing but scares easily.
Dusty/plaster splattered colouring.

Householders missing him dreadfully

Reward offered

May have joined pack of other missing tradespeople

Please search your garages, bathrooms,half - finished extensions and that big hole masquerading as a patio

[wideratthehips]

your kev must be mates with my chippy adam who started today building cupboards for me.

dh had to go to buildbase to buy the materials don't builders usually have accounts?) at 8am.

he arrives at 1130am...fannies about and has screwed in three lengths of 2 by 4 and went for lunch at 1pm...and he is being paid £175 per day labour.

i haven't offered him a cup of tea cause i don't think hes done any friggin' work yet!

i'm hanging around MN on my laptop...oooh hes just come back in...

[yeahinaminute]

He hasn't brought a builder by the name of Kev back with him has he ??

Why is it when there's 2 of them they stand around Chatting about the job instead of Doing the feckin job ??

[LadyOfWaffle]

He may have gone on holiday with my two builders, they left me with a half finished kitchen. I keep setting off the fire alarms as there is no door!

[wideratthehips]

god i feel like i could really wibble at any moment.....i really twisted dh arm to do this (having cupboards but in on either side of chimney breast in two rooms) even though theres a credit crunch and we are using our savings and mydh may have to go down to 4 days a week soon.....thinking about it i'm sure this guy (who looks about 20) earns more than my dh does

actually the guy i contacted first was a kev.....wearing one of those peruvian knitted hats with the ear flaps...........

[yeahinaminute]

..... and a wearing a very thick zip up cardie in green / cream?
( not sure if the cream is original or dried on plaster)

[Jux]

I think he put our tie-bars in a couple of years ago.

[hannahsaunt]

...does he go by Stephen as well? The basement work that would take 8-10 weeks last August and we're in week 27 (or is it 28?) ... he has worked terribly hard in the time - the stairs were installed twice, the plasterboard in the bathroom was done twice, the tiling was done twice, the bathroom suite has been done three times and counting

[FimboRabbieBurns]

He is probably off to his day job now with George Wimpey, I have been waiting since October 2007 for them to replace a wonky brick in my garage.

[DorisIsAPinkDragon]

still PMSL has he turned up yet????

[stleger]

Did Kev discuss everything that had been badly done by the previous builder? My David does that when he is occasionally here. He has my key now in case he feels like popping in. But he has been babysitting his granddaughter since Monday, my bath is unsealed and I can't wet my terracotta border.

[macdoodle]

My Kev was called Rob - took him ooohhh let me see about 8 months to do my kitchen - and in the end we fell out over a wooden doorknob which should have been chrome - I can send him your way if you want ;)

[stleger]

Ds asked me this morning 'Is David working at the minute?' I had to ask him who David is. Maybe Kev has turned up today?