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to take the mick out of male colleagues who bring in shared food that their WIVES have made

(720 Posts)
morningpaper Sun 14-Dec-08 22:34:47

this makes me both scornful and slightly depressed and I resort to extreme sarcasm

Only last week I was nibbling lemon cake from a colleagues WIFE.

What IS that ABOUT?

AIBU?

Libraloveschristmas1975 Thu 18-Dec-08 12:24:44

"We-ell. The argument wasn't about whether wife-baked cakes are as bad as racism. It was about whether they are an expression of sexism, or not. "

ah I get you now, I apologise for misunderstanding the point you were trying to make however as far as I am concerned baking cake is really not a form of sexism.

onebatmotherofgoditschilly Thu 18-Dec-08 12:25:44

So we're widening it out to desserts and general confectionary then?

Penthesileia Thu 18-Dec-08 12:27:33

You may be widening, you little devil 'sfoodcake. I, on the other hand, am quite trim thank you, having no colleagues with wives to bake for me. Harrumph.

Penthesileia Thu 18-Dec-08 12:27:54

Or husbands, I hasten to add.

Penthesileia Thu 18-Dec-08 12:28:19

And it's not that they're not married, but... Oh never mind.

BoccaDellaNativita Thu 18-Dec-08 12:32:59

Crikey! Are we still here?

Bake-Well Tart is possibly (in my very humble pie opinion) the best of a superlative selection of puns.

Anyway <<heats oven>> I'm going off to reclaim the street baking as an act of feminist empowerment. Am tired of being mheringued.

GoodWilfToAllMN Thu 18-Dec-08 12:36:02

mheringued!

<applauds>

Threadworrm Thu 18-Dec-08 12:37:45

Victorious punch takes the biscuit for me.

And honestly, Morningpaper couldn't have stirred the mixture more effectively if she'd talked about strapping bagels to rockets and firing them off to Lebanon.

SixSpotBurnet Thu 18-Dec-08 12:41:18

onebatmother, I am really loving your "low-brow analysis" on this thread! Fantastic!

I've been thinking about it a bit more (to while away the time) and I think the reason it makes me uneasy is as follows:

- for me the act resonates too much of a time (only one generation ago in my own family) where women did not have a choice as to whether to bake goods at their husband's request, and indeed lacked many many other choices, many of them much more significant, such as the right to say no to sex

- there are other things which similarly resonate, such as changing one's surname on marriage, which again I would not do

- however, I completely accept that there is a large amount of subjectivity here e.g. many women do not feel comfortable with getting married at all, because it still betokens men possessing women too much - whereas I am actually married.

In other words, we draw the line in different places.

BoccaDellaNativita Thu 18-Dec-08 12:41:32

<<takes a deep filled mince pie bow>>

SixSpotBurnet Thu 18-Dec-08 12:48:55

I realise I am on rather thin icing here...

GoodWilfToAllMN Thu 18-Dec-08 12:59:23

<thud>

only just got VictoriouS punch blush

FlirtyThirty Thu 18-Dec-08 13:06:14

BucksFizz - I too would bake cakes for my Dh if he asked...and have in the past made things for his team in the office. I do not see anythign wrong with this. It does not make me a doormat...just a nice thing to do if you have a bit of time.

I have no idea why someone would object to another person trying to do something nice. Very odd. Hope you have a great Christmas...

GoodWilfToAllMN Thu 18-Dec-08 13:18:47

Hey, here's the thing. If you've no idea why anyone might object, you could always read the thread? smile

onebatmotherofgoditschilly Thu 18-Dec-08 13:33:21

back in the knife drawer with you, miss sharpe grin

TheFalconInThePearTree Thu 18-Dec-08 13:34:21

I've read the thread and I still don't understand the objections.grin

Habbibu Thu 18-Dec-08 13:42:46

<crawls back into thread>

"
- for me the act resonates too much of a time (only one generation ago in my own family) where women did not have a choice as to whether to bake goods at their husband's request, and indeed lacked many many other choices, many of them much more significant, such as the right to say no to sex" That's kind of the crux, for me. At NO POINT would anyone here say that women shouldn't have sex because at one time they couldn't say no.

Now - we may decide to categorise things - cake baking no, marriage no, taking husband's name no, having sex yes, taking a year's mat leave, yes - but that is essentially subjective and based on personal history, taste, appetites, etc. And it's the pragmatic personal solution, but it's theoretically pretty inelegant, because I think you have to muster up reasons as to why one thing is ok and another not.

To me the right to refuse, the right to not feel under pressure from your partner or society is fundamental, and everything else comes under that. So Xenia refuses to take mat leave, but someone else refuses to be forced back to work. Motherinferior refuses to get married, whereas someone else chooses to. I refuse to be called Mrs, and did a PhD with this very much in mind, whereas some people don't mind.

Where does this leave the scary generation of girls who think that Katie Price is a feminist icon? Several of you on here would say that I, in my baking choices, am as misguided as they are. What I tried, and failed pretty much spectacularly to get across yesterday, is that I think this is not a subject where you can have cut-and-dried answers. Why is sex ok, but baking "for" your husband not? Because women like sex? Is that natural, but taking pleasure in baking learned behaviour?

I don't know the answers, I don't, but I just don't think that a blanket approach to what women can or can't choose to do is ever going to be a productive long-term solution. And this leaves me with a real conundrum over pole-dancing, and Katie Price, and all that.

<have I meringued you all enough?>

Dreyfus Thu 18-Dec-08 13:47:22

Why thank you, BoccaDellaNativitia. It is blatantly éclair that you are a woman of good taste.

There is a MacDs-bashing topic I see, shall we go and make some Bat'N'Burger puns?

SixSpotBurnet Thu 18-Dec-08 13:48:05

Well, maybe no-one on here, hab, but there is a line of feminist thinking (Dworkin for example) that would say that women should not have heterosexual sex. And wasn't that very much part of the separatist feminist thinking too?

Habbibu Thu 18-Dec-08 13:49:10

I knew as I typed that someone would say that. But one might say that ending the human race was a bit of a drastic solution...

Swedes Thu 18-Dec-08 13:56:39

I completely understand why people are getting into a Viennese Whirl over this.

SixSpotBurnet Thu 18-Dec-08 13:57:59

Swedes, you Fat Rascal.

onebatmotherofgoditschilly Thu 18-Dec-08 14:02:00

You're right, Habbibu, of course about pleasure - good point.

Perhaps that's what it comes down to in the edn - subjectivity and, erm, drasticity.

But I'm inclined to think that the real divide here is between acts in the public sphere, and acts in the private one.

The former are more likely to be construed as having meanings beyond the immediate, aren't they?

To extend your argument about sex, I would defend anyone's right to enjoy submissive sex in their private lives; I'd be question the sagacity of performing the precisely the same acts in public.

GoodWilfToAllMN Thu 18-Dec-08 14:02:40

<humph>

Am sulking. About something completely different.

<go on, ask me...>

TheFalconInThePearTree Thu 18-Dec-08 14:03:34

I'd question having any sex in public, submissive or not.

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