To want my postman o delivery my mail and not threaten me?

[sleepyeyes]

Ok warning this might be long.

We moved into our flat 6 months ago and at first never had any problems with the postman. Then 3 months ago we had a package left on our doorstep in plain view of anyone walking past, it was also raining. DH got in contact with the local manager said he didn't want to make a formal complaint but please make sure this didn't happen again.

Since then we have had all sorts of problems in the post mail doesn't turn up or if it does days late. Packages look like they have been opened, special delivery post taken about 2 days to arrive, DH drivers licence go missing in the post. Although we were suspicious we cant prove its to do with the postman so haven't made anymore complaints.
But one odd thing that he does to is whether there is a package to sign for he is just putting letters through the letterbox he bangs really aggressively on the door almost like he is body slamming it. 2 weeks ago I was standing by the door when he started the banging and I went to open the door thinking he was maybe aggressively knocking the door turns out he had 2 letters for us.

Anyway On Monday we were expecting a package (my wedding ring)to be delivered Special Delivery. It never turned up, DH decided to call and complain this time as it was an important package and we were fed up with the appalling service. In the end DH picked it up at sorting office, post man said no one was in and he left a calling card. We were both in and he left no card. We left it at that we had our ring so we were happy.

Yesterday we were expecting another ring ( the first didn't fit) we had a special delivery come at 7:30am but no ring. DH called sorting office, they said as its a small package its gone out with postman. Postman delivers letters so package and none of his usual banging. DH gets the tracking number for the ring it says the ring has been delivered and signed for.
DH goes to the sorting office to speak to the manager and is very worried as t what has happened to the ring. We get married in 6 days time and I don't have a wedding ring!
Manager tried all day and couldn't get in touch with postman and that he will make it a priority to find ring.

TODAY: Postman turns up and for the 30 seconds-1 minute it took for me to answer the door he kept his finger on the bell and hammered like mad on the door. I'm alarmed but answer the door and keep calm and make no mention about the ring (which was delivered by special delivery a bit earlier) he had a package for me to sign, as I did he began to get really aggressive calling me a liar he did try to deliver the ring yesterday and he left a card. I calmly said you must be mistaken we were in all morning and you certainly didn't leave any card. Plus you did the paperwork to say it had actually been delivered when it hadn't.

He then gets in my face and starts shouting "if you complain about me again I'm going to come back and deal with your myself."
He they shouted a bit more and repeated the threat twice more. I asked him if he was making a threat and he walked off.

We went in person to the sorting office to make a complain the the manager, he seemed to take it serious and will be investigating and that on Monday he wont deliver our mail.
We then made a formal complaint to the police as we are concerned that he knows our names and address and made threats that he might turn up and carry out those threats.

I really frightened now that he is going to turn up and don't feel safe to answer the door anymore.

Am I being unreasonable to have complained about this postman and not expect to be threatened?

Am I over reacting?

[sleepyeyes]

Meant NO package not sopackage:
Postman delivers letters so package and none of his usual banging.

[lulumama]

you are not overreacting

i am sorry you have had so much stress and I hope he is dealt with appropriately, it is very unnerving to feel that someone who knows where you live is angry with you

YANBU and i would have done the same.

[LittleMonkeysMummyIsASparkler]

[TheArmadillo]

you are not overreacting.

Tis appalling and very threatening.

[LadyOfRObamaffle]

oh my goodness, glad you went to police! What an awful postman

[sleepyeyes]

Thank you Lulumama. I really quite frightened and so stressed. I want to enjoy the excitement on the run up to the wedding and worry about my wedding cake and my Flower girl walking down the aisle nicely not being beat up by my postman or having our property vandalised.

I'm thinking of going to stay with my parents for a few days just in case he turns up but I don't want to leave DH at home alone as he has a bad foot at the moment and cant walk very well.

[sleepyeyes]

Lady: I know its the right thing to go to the police (wouldn't be surprised if I was the first person he has treated this way) but he said if I 'complained' he was going to come back and deal with me if I did.

I have now I'm scared, I've been in tears all day and I dont usually cry.

[sleepyeyes]

Ahh sorry really bad typing I meant I would be surprised if I WASN'T the first person he has treated that way.

[onager]

I'm sure he won't be back as he would know he would be prosecuted as well as sacked - he was just venting.

However when asked make it clear you are very worried so they don't drop it. That way he will at least be transfered away so you don't have to see him any more. If he is cautioned too (I'd think he would be) that's even better.

You are completely in the right.

[scaryfucker]

omg, that sounds awful, no wonder you are upset

I hope he gets the sack, you can't treat people like that and get away with it

[sleepyeyes]

I hope he gets the sack too but its more likely he will be moved to a diffrent area. DH is going to keep the pressure on the post office manager to make sure he understands we have taken the threat seriously and we wont be letting it drop.

I don't think the police will do anything other than keep a record of what has happened as his threat was very veiled and he hasn't actually carried it out yet.
But they did make it clear that with all the other things that have been happening its possible that he is carrying out a vendetta against us because of the very first complaint 3 months ago. Which may be a case for harassment.

[vis]

wowsers-

1. no you are not over reacting.

2.well done for keeping calm when faced with him shouting in your face.

1. well done for going to speak to work place and also police.

I can understand why you are so concerned since as you state he knows where you live etc.

I would do a review of security of your house and make sure you have a plan of action IF he was to come to your house.

[sleepyeyes]

Vis: we are a ground floor flat so it's easy access but we do have an alarm and an en-suite bathroom if I needed to hide.
We will have security cameras put up if we start getting any trouble.

I should also point out that this wasn't a young guy but a grey haired guy in his 50's.

It's silly but I would really like to buy some books and DVDs off Amazon to take with us this week when we get married (we are travelling down to the venue and staying for a few days) but I'm worried about answering the door to the postman.

[CharCharGabor]

Good lord! What a horrible little man. You're definitely doing the right thing, YANBU. If he turns up and appears threatening just ring the police straight away.

[MollyCherry]

What a horrible story - glad you went to the police.

Could you have your books etc delivered to a friends place so you don't have to deal with it (could make it a nice surprice for hubby-to-be then as well).

Have you thought about a house sitter while you are away or will your neighbours keep an eye on things?

[TinkerBellesMum]

I'm also glad you went to the police, I was thinking it before I got to that point. Tell the police that you are moving out because you are so scared that he might come back, don't play it down at all.

As for will he get the sack, my old neighbour got the sack because he accidently took a letter back (it had fallen to the bottom of his bag) and he didn't tell them, he hid it to post the next day. Sounds like he's broken a few more of the post office rules than that and they're very strict on it - remember post belongs to the Queen from the moment it's put into a letter box until it's put through your door and the postie is representing her.

[pushchair]

feel for you. What a horrible situation to be in. Can you get a spy hole in door? And/or chain.

[Amethyst86]

You need to tell the police. They take things like this very seriously.

[TinkerBellesMum]

If he does come back ring 999 straight away and tell them that there is someone at your door threatening you, you've made a complaint about them before and you are fearful. There will be a car there in minutes. (My XH's solicitor told him to do that if I went around, he changed the locks while I was at my parents leaving me in the clothes I was standing in, no money/access to money and no possessions )

[sleepyeyes]

THanks for all your replies I was sure I wasn't over reacting but it can hard to be clear headed in a situation like this.

Molly: My DH works from home and I'm a housewife so during the day someone is always home but I usually answer the door. Don't think I will be doing that for awhile.

House sitter is a good Idea but everyone we know is coming to the wedding plus I'd be worried about someone being around and confronted by him. We don't really know our neighbours but I think I will talk to our upstairs neighbour and apologise for the noise this morning and ask if she or any of the other neighbours have had a problem with him.
This is a very quite posh area so any disturbance would be out of the ordinary.

Tink: Thanks its comforting to know they treat things like this seriously (although possible an over reaction in your neighbours case.) if not I'll write to the Queen.

Pushchair: That's a good idea but we are renting as we had never lived in the area so though it would be a good idea to know the area first before we bought. The area is lovely, we just extended the lease fora year as we love the flat so much. How Ironic that its the postman who has caused us trouble to the extent we may move back to DH old house that he is trying to sell.

[sleepyeyes]

Tink your ex sounds awful!
The police offices we spoke to told us to ring 999 as well. Have to go out soon, DH needs to go to his parent house to pick some things up and I'm to scared to stay at home alone.

[TinkerBellesMum]

I guess it does seem an over reaction from outside but it broke a lot of rules - not delivering the letter, putting it somewhere where he shouldn't have etc. You may not have said that if it was a sensitive letter of yours!

My ex was a real charmer we'd been having problems and he knew he was on his last chance. I went to my parents for Mum's birthday, he had gone to his friends. I got a lot of abuse while I was there over the net from his friends so I decided not to go home as I was worried about what was going on, got home next day and the locks had been changed. When I went back when he was there he made the call I described (as though he didn't know me). But now I have TBD who is fantastic

[sleepyeyes]

It really has been an overreaction to loose your temper so badly and risk your job because someone made a complaint. Resulting in me being frightened to be alone in my own home.

I Have an awful stress & tension headache due to todays events so I'm off to bed.

Tink whats a TBD?