to want to drag my DD to the panto even though she doesnt want to go?

[leogirl]

my DD freaks out over anything like halloween (fairly common I'd think), dressing up with masks, etc etc. Last year she couldn't go to her school halloween party. This year I want to take her to see a panto but she is absolutely refusing to go as there will be a "bad witch" in it - she is driving me mad, should I insist she goes (with the whole family) and show her that there is nothing to be scared of or should I just accept thats the way she is and avoid pantos etc until she grows out of it? a tiny part of me thinks we are mollycoddling her and she should learn to be a bit braver. what do you think?

[Lauriefairycake]

age?

[bobsyouruncle]

I wouldn't take her, best let her come round to it in her own time imo. dd is 6 and doesn't want to go to the panto this christmas either - not because she's scared though, but because she wants to go to High School Musical on ice instead

[HonoriaGlossop]

I wouldn't make her. It's not as if she's frightened of pavements or something that will affect her everyday life

Being frightened of baddies and witches is rather sensible, isn't it?

I guess if she was 8 or 9 I might think a little differently as it would mean unless she got over the fear in a year or two she would have missed out on childhood panto's completely which would be a shame I guess; but I bet she's not that old....is she?

[pofaced]

Why make her do something she absolutely doesn't want to do?

IME pantos are more for adults than kids anyway and they are loud and noisy. My not-at-all-easily-frightened 4 year old was petrified at Beauty and the Beast and my almost 6 year old hid behind the cushions on a memorable Christmas Day when I thought it would be nice if we all watched the Wizard of Oz! Now they are hilariously fearless.

Sorry to labour the point but life is hard enough for sensitive children when they go to school and encounter unpleasantness without their own parents telling them they are wimps and forcing them to do something they don't like: her home and her mother should make her feel secure and happy if the outside world is a challenge and frightening, not another source of insecurity...

[leogirl]

she's nearly 7. I had thought it would be nice if we did something every xmas - last year it was wizard of oz and she loved it - but now she's refusing to go to the panto which means we won't have the nice family day out I'd imagined. I don't want to force her to do things she is scared of but sometimes us mums need to show our children that its good to be brave, to try things and then they might actually be pleasantly surprised and love it? If she never wants to try things then i worry she'll miss out.

[HonoriaGlossop]

Why not take her to the Ballet instead? Nothing scary about that and it's just as Christmassy, specially if they're doing the Nutcracker.

I do see your point about helping her to try things but at 6 I just don't think it's worth pushing, even gently. I'd re-think next year...there's plenty of childhood left for her to experience these things

[pofaced]

She's only 6... just take hereasy and by the time she's 8 she'll want a dracula themed Christmas... honestly, they do become less scared and then suddenly fearless... my 8 year old wouldn't go to the cinema for years and decided to go this summer to see, among others, Prince Caspian, Indiana Jones and the new Mummy film, none of which fall into the happy ever after category

[MollyCherry]

How much more hacked off are you going to be if you fork out £50 plus for tickets for all the family and no-one enjoys it because she spend most of the time crouched in between the seats crying and whingeing that she wants to go home while those around you tut and give you disapproving looks for 2 hours?

Not that I speak from expereince or anything....

[solidgoldbrass]

DOn't take her. Maybe she's going to grow up and be a theatre critic. My (never bothered to post) AIBU was going to be AIBU to not take DS to the pantomime with rest of playgroup as he won't give a toss and I fecking hate pantomimes...they are invariably shit, peopled with z-list celebs shuffling on and bleating their catchphrases, no coherent story and little discernible effort from anyone to merit the price of the tickets.