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AIBU?

to be upset that my FIL called my 37 w pregnant belly disgusting?

121 replies

Breizhette · 03/07/2008 12:10

I feel more humiliated really. We were on Skype on the webcam as they don't live in the same country. My DH and DD were facing the camera talking to PIL. FIL asked about his grandchild to be, so I lifted my top and showed my belly on the screen. FIL said "Put that away, it's disgusting".
I know there's a generation thing, and my DH tells me that it really doesn't matter. But it keeps coming back in my head. Maybe it's just the hormones...

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sagacious · 03/07/2008 12:13

1.Generation thing (him)
2.Hormones (you)

YANBU but don't let it upset you

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belgo · 03/07/2008 12:15

I would never show my fil my pregnant belly!

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minouminou · 03/07/2008 12:15

nice
it's not your hormones at all, that was a very insensitive and cruel thing to say
"put THAT" away?
Also, the generation thing....older people tend to just go quiet and look away, he didn't need to use such harsh and emotive language

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lazarou · 03/07/2008 12:16

Yes hormones. YOu should have asked him to get his willy out and repaid the compliment.

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Flashman · 03/07/2008 12:17

Hmm I am alays telling my 37 week dw to put it away - are you sure that it was meant to be taken as an insult?

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Breizhette · 03/07/2008 12:17

Belgo, that's interesting. That's why I feel humiliated, as if I showed my bum or my breasts. I am confused.

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belgo · 03/07/2008 12:18

In fact, I don't show my pregnant belly to anyone apart from dh and my girls. Maybe I'm a prude.

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ConnorTraceptive · 03/07/2008 12:18

Oh lord why on earth would you lift your top and show him??? Some people genuinely find it a bit creepy I know my friend does.

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Breizhette · 03/07/2008 12:18

No, not an insult. But he clearly didn't think it was appropriate. Maybe it wasn't? I thought he would be happy to see his next gc.

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ConnorTraceptive · 03/07/2008 12:21

If he'd taken it upon himself to lift up your top to have a look would you have appreciated it?

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Kewcumber · 03/07/2008 12:21

I'm guessing that he didn;t think he was seeing his next gc but was instead staring at his DIL's belly. He may have been having palpitations from the shock and reacted a bit hastily.

I can;t imagine showing anyone (certainly not in-laws!) my belly (though I'm not pregnant so perhaps more understandable in your case!)

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TheProvincialLady · 03/07/2008 12:21

It's not really seeing his gc though is it? Unless he has x ray vision. Maybe you shouldn't have shown your bump to him - I wouldn't have done TBH - but his reaction was uncalled for.

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belgo · 03/07/2008 12:21

This is also why I don't have skype. I can imagine my mother commenting on the clothes I'm wearing or the mess in my living room.

Just put it down to experience Breizette and next time just say 'baby's kicking away' or something.

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MamaG · 03/07/2008 12:22

Agree that he was insensitive and you are hormonal

LOL at shownig his willy eeewwwwww

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Ags · 03/07/2008 12:23

I really would not give it any more thought. You thought you were showing him his next gc, he just saw a big pregnant tummy. And webcam conversations are tricky so go with your dh on this one. Let it go and try to forget it. Certainly you did nothing that should make you feel humiliated.

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edamdepompadour · 03/07/2008 12:24

He was insensitive but you were a bit odd, showing him your tummy. He was probably shocked. Put it down to hormones and forget about it.

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MsDemeanor · 03/07/2008 12:24

He might have been joking, or thinking he was joking. written communication can easily go wrong.

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brightongirldownunder · 03/07/2008 12:25

Lazarou!!!
I agree though pregnant tummies are far nicer to look at than willies.
He may be old school but that comment was totally unnecessary. Saying that my FIL would probably say the same thing..
Try and forget what he said and give your tummy a nice stroke infront of someone that loves it.

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AnyFuleKno · 03/07/2008 12:28

Can't believe anyone thinks this is a reasonable thing for him to say. I am shocked!

I would be severely pissed off if anyone referred to any bit of me as disgusting, let alone a pregnant belly which contains their grandchild!

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belgo · 03/07/2008 12:29

I don't think anyone thinks it was a reasonable thing to say, but I just find the showing the belly thing a bit odd. As I said, maybe I'm a prude!

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Breizhette · 03/07/2008 12:35

OK, thanks for your opinions, it's interesting.
I just did it very spontaneously as I think a pregnant belly is beautiful and I thought everybody else did. I am not an exhibitionnist at all, but am definitely not prude. I know it's silly and I shouldn't obsess. Just felt told off really.

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AnyFuleKno · 03/07/2008 12:38

I'm a prude too but I like to think that if I had done this my PIL would have (though they may have inwardly been a bit surprised) said something polite like 'oh that's nice dear'

It just seems like some ppl think op deserved this reaction for showing her belly.

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ummadam · 03/07/2008 13:01

He was probably really embarrassed and hence came out with an unreasonable thing to say. I wouldn't give it a second's more thought.

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Breizhette · 03/07/2008 13:06

I think you're right ummadam.

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ChukkyPig · 03/07/2008 13:12

I think he just got an eyeful when he wasn't expecting to and spoke out of shock!

Get DH to give your lovely tum a kiss and all will be better.

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