To wish everybody would just leave me the F*^%! alone!!!

[lucyellensmum]

My DP is probably on the verge of a nervous breakdown due to financial stress and the fact his business is going tits up, when it is actually due to his own ineptitude. So, he takes it out on me, calls me a cunt, among other things. Then calls me on the phone all lovey and upbeat, but no apology. I know he is stressed, ive told him what to do, i can't offer anymore.

Then my mother decides the reason her BP is high is because the chemists have changed her tablets (just a different make). I said i would speak to the chemist and make sure it was all ok but didnt get chance to day as had to attend waste of time meeting for preschool (see other thread) and it PISSED down with rain so had to shelter in library and place would have been shut by the time i came home. So now she has played the whole "its all shit" "they are making me ill" "i wont take my tablets (she WILL die if she doesn't" "i dont care anymore, you obviously don't give a shit" type thing. When i am stressed anyway because of DP.

FFS, I am the one on ADs, im the one who is hanging on by a fucking thread - i just want everyone to leave me the hell alone with DD, i will be alright then, alone, quiet, no stress, no noise, no anything

[lucyellensmum]

The problem with my mother is she thinks i'm a fucking doctor. I am not, i have a PhD so that is my title (i dont use it) because i dont like being mistaken for a doctor . But she thinks i have all the answers, when i try and tell her "look mum, you need to see a doctor, i don't have the answers, i just don't know" She gets all cross with me, like i should know fucking everything. She was at the doctors YESTERDAY she told him, and me, that she felt fine . God im soooo pissed off.

[OneLieIn]

Oh, sorry to hear you are having a tough time. You sound totally stressed out - anything we can do to help?

[Bridie3]

I think you and your daughter probably DO need to go off for a weekend alone. Just the two of you. Any chance you could?

Let them appreciate you more.

[OneLieIn]

keep ranting, mothers eh - who needs them?

[Kimi]

Oh LEM, deep breath.
I have a mother a bit like this.

You need to put your DD and yourself first.
Have you told your DP that this is unacceptable, and you will not put up with it.

Take the phone off the hook, put DD to bed and have a long bath

[lucyellensmum]

That would be a nice thougth Bridie, but i dont really do anything for them to appreciate really. I think i cause half of DPs stress anyway, well he says i cause it all, lol, he is probably right. I really just want to be left alone.

[lucyellensmum]

i'll do that later, still waiting for dinner to cook itself, everything running late and DP only just got home to say "are you still stressed"? WTF???. I said to him that i am finding it really hard being called horrible names every time he is stressed. His anwser - but i do love you really actions/words etc!!!!

[micci25]

my dp has a habit of name calling when he stressed and often takes his tempers out on me! i find the best way of dealing with is to ignore him for a while and act very very cross around him, then go into the "you have dissapointed me, i expect more" speech that you usually save for children!

call a take out tonight one night wont also agree you should get away with your dd if possible for a weekend and 'accidentaliy' forget your mobile/lose signal/forget charger!

[lucyellensmum]

everything is very simple when it is just me and DD

[copingvquietly]

im sorry things are so hard for youis there anyway you can take your little girl away for a while?

[lucyellensmum]

no, we don;t have any money, i don't drive and she is only 2. Thankyou so much for posting cvq, i know you are having a hard time at the moment. I'm just having a stress out because everyone around here thinks i can just absorb their shit, ive been here before, and im not having it this time

[copingvquietly]

no one is super human just remeber that.yes ive got stuff going on but that deosnt mean i cant lend an ear to others.you included.im happy to talk to you over email if you think that woul help?im not sure how to get my email address toyu without posingit on here though?
youve got added stress in way ofa partner and family.it all takes its toll x

[Booboobedoo]

God, you're having a rough time. Think I remember some of your precious threads.

You are obviously not causing your DH's stress: he's doing that himself, as I recall, through his inability to accept that his business is failing and he should find other work.

My DH used to call me names like that (and I used to do it right back . In a calmer moment, maybe it would be worth discussing this and putting an absolute veto on certain words. Calling you a cunt is totally, utterly unacceptable. Zero tolerance on that.

Have you got any wine in the house?

[Booboobedoo]

Sorry: previous not precious.

[lucyellensmum]

thankyou so much. I think i have just had a shit day tbh, trying not to make too much of it. Just rang my mother to offer to take her dog out, she said no and then just waited on the phone as if she wanted me to argue and say, no go on, i'll take him, i'm knackered and pissed off, i don't want to talk to anyone so i just said OK bye. I bet she is still staring at the phone in disbelief.

DP is horribly stressed but i am going to have to talk to him about his attitude towards me. Its unacceptable and im actually quite worried about him if i'm honest. I've asked him to go to the doctors, but he just said, "nah, you stick to your nutty pills i'll sort myself out" . Is there any fecking wonder i need them.

How are you bearing up anyway?

[OrmIrian]

Sorry you are having such a hard time LEM. And that no-one around you seems to appreciate it .

[lucyellensmum]

Booboo, that is the thing, i am no shrinking violet so i give it back in spades. I could not believe the vitriol that was pouring from our mouths earlier, really evil things. Pathetic shit too.

him: "why are you being so stressy"
me: "I wasn't stressed until you came home"
him: "i was quite happy until i had to come home to you"
me:"you make me stressed"
Him: "your stress makes me stress"

FFS he is 44 and i am 37!

He says things like, "i am going to kill you if you are not careful" I mean, FFS!! he says he just can't help it. He was never like this, and i know its just the stress talking but i am worried about him. It is not easy that DD picks up on the atmosphere and plays up, making it worse, vicious circle.

[copingvquietly]

you should talk to him abouot it becaue it doesnt help you feel any beter.
im alright.had a shit of a day myself with j so iv got wine

[Booboobedoo]

LEM: that's how we used to sound. FWIW, Marriage Counselling worked absolute miracles for us.

Thereatening to kill you, though?

Is there anywhere he could go and stay, just for a few days, to get a bit of perspective?

[lucyellensmum]

i want some too but none in the house, prob just as well.

[lucyellensmum]

Boo, no, there isnt and tbh i don;t think it would be helpful at the moment. I think we will be ok, its all down to money, i hate it.

[lucyellensmum]

nothings changed, i still want out I know i have to do his accounts soon. Its technically very easy, but the thought of sitting down with him going through stuff where he has to remember stuff and it will be stressful fills me with dread, i know he will get stressed. I just can't make him do it in the evenings and there is no way we can do it with DD about because she just plays up.

Things were looking OK last night, but he was stressy again this morning and flew off the handle because i shouted at the dog. (my dog is like a cling on and wont leave me alone either ), i just shouted at him to go away is all. Then i get responses like "kick it, then it wont come near you" . Yeah right, really helpful.

I thought he had finally conceded to getting a job until we get straight THEN starting the business, but he was full of it again this morning. When i pointed out that he said he would get a job i get the whole "its YOU that is so negative, i felt quite happy about it, now i guess i'll just have to get a job" - so great, at least i know that its MY fault the business is a big pile of shit.

I just feel trapped. This is killing me, im not sure i can separate him from the twisted feeling in my stomach - when he left this morning it was like a weight was lifted off of my shoulder. Don't get me wrong, i love him with all my heart, but how much longer are we going to stay in this vicious circle.

[Ripeberry]

LEM, so sorry you're having such a hard time.
Your good times will come soon, they have to