To expect xp to let me know sooner?

[TheUnsinkableMB]

Am I being unreasonable to expect xp to let me know sooner than thursday afternoon that dd has been invited to a child's birthday party on sunday?

His contact is he has her for a couple of hours tuesday evening and overnight from friday evening to saturday evening, the party is on sunday afternoon (which is the only time I get to spend one full day with her as I work full time, so my time with dd is very precious).

If I don't let her go (I know social interaction with other kids is important for her) I'll end up being the bad guy, but what's upsetting me is that for too long I've been stuck in a routine for sundays (family obligations) so last weekend I'd decided that I was definately gonna take dd out for the day and I've been really looking forward to it all week, especially with the weather being lovely, and now I can't.

When my mum handed dd over to xp last weekend he did mention an upcoming birthday over the next couple of weeks, but he never said on what exact date, and now I'm just expected to drop my plans.

Sorry, just needed to rant

[mankymummy]

can you ask xp if you can have DD saturday afternoon to compensate?

[sillybillybee]

Rant away
Can you swap the fri-sat for a sat-sun so that you'll still see DD for (nearly) a full day?
I can see why you're annoyed though so YANBU, its annoying when you have to change/cancel plans last minute

[TheUnsinkableMB]

I did MM, asked if he could bring her back earlier on saturday, but just got the usual ranting mouthful.

I know its silly to be upset, there's plenty of other sundays, I was just looking forward to it sooooooooo much.

[nkf]

Why change the plans? She can miss a birthday party can't she?

[TheUnsinkableMB]

Just feel as though I wouldn't be putting dd's needs first NKF.
Although I'm sure she needs to spend quality time with her mummy too.
I miss her so much when I'm at work.

Would have been a good idea SBB, but I've made plans for friday night too.

If I try and change any of xp's contact I just get threatened with the 'you're not sticking to the contact order' rant.
Even when she's really ill and clingy, he still expects to take her on the friday night.

[Lauriefairycake]

But he's not sticking to the contact order ! - he doesn't have her Sundays.

Don't let her go if you have something planned - you do not have to do this

[TheUnsinkableMB]

Thanks LFC, I know I'm not legally obliged to give him anymore than he's already getting, wish he'd realise that.

He had her on the bank holiday while I was at work and I didn't even get a thanks.

I just hate being made out to be the bad guy, had enough of that in court.

[nkf]

I think a day out with Mummy would be great for a little girl. Good luck anyway.

[TheUnsinkableMB]

Thanks NKF, I'm just such a pathetic wuss letting him get his own way all the time.

[MascaraOHara]

It's important for your DD to spend time with you.. there will be plenty of birthday parties.

tell your xp that you already have plans so she won't be going.

[TheUnsinkableMB]

Thanks for the support guys

Had plans to take her down the beach if it was nice, haven't taken her since last year.
Was looking forward to playing in the sand and taking her for a plodge in the freezing water!
Why even when its the height of summer is the water still so bloody cold?

[mankymummy]

Forget the party unless she really really wants to go, bet she'd rather spend time with you.

Just wondered though... why does your ex get informed of the party rather than you?