To pay or not to pay? That is the question.

[avenanap]

I know that I should pay my ds's final terms school fees before he moves but I really don't want to. I know that this may appear unreasonable but my ds is miserable. The head assured me when he took over in September that he knew how to handle boys who are gifted but have social problems but it is so painfully apparant that he does not. My ds gets into trouble for the silliest little thing, talking at lunch time, laughing at a kid messing around during rehersals (the other kid didn't get into trouble). The head has admitted that the school has failed my ds. He thinks my child is opinionated and uncaring. Ds wants to go back for the last term but I really do not want to pay money for my child to be bullied by the teachers. He doesn't fit in, he's very bright but can be a bit silly. The teachers are on his back all the time, other children have noticed that he gets into trouble for things where other children are not. £2k is alot of money. I would rather not pay and take my ds on a holiday where he could learn about other cultures and lives. I know that this is very unreasonable, I should pay up for the next term so can anyone give me a reason why I should?

[ShinyPinkShoes]

Contractually surely you entered into an agreement to give a certain amount of notice before withdrawing him?

[stuffitllama]

Will they chase you?

[avenanap]

I can't remember signing one. I certainly was not given a copy of one. Under contract law this voids the contract. They are hardly giving my ds a caring environment. I have to give a terms notice (I assume, that's what other parents have done).

[newgirl]

I think it depends on what is in your contract/agreement with them

i guess they agree to provide a level of care in return for fees - have they done that? you could not pay and wait to see what happens - but they are bound to send you legal letters and chase it up if only to serve as an example - to avoid this youwould need to write to them as soon as possible and come to an agreement.

Do you know if they have filled the place? That might be a factor to consider.

[LaComtesse]

They could argue that you accepted the contract by deed even if they didn't send you a copy. Have you considered negotiating a reduced amount with them?

[avenanap]

They won't chase me. I have not paid last terms fees as I have been waiting for the money from ds's father. I have been told if I don' pay it by the end of the week he can't go back after easter. I could just pay last terms, it would be fair as they have taught him, and say that I do not have next terms. I will offer not to take him back after easter.

[LIZS]

It will be in terms and conditions, you don't need a copy as such as, more than likely, you would have agreed to them when submitting the registration form and paying your deposit, some of which is normally offset against last term anyway. They can therefore pursue you for non-payment and for a further term's fees unless you give a full term's notice of leaving. Did you find an alternative for September yet ?

[LaComtesse]

Have you got an alternative school place for him? I appreciate that you want to give him some time out but if he is of school age then you will need to get him into some sort of educational setting for the new academic year. Good luck

[soapbox]

The contract has not been voided at all, I don't think.

By continuing to send your child to school you are acting as if the contract is still in place. You might get away with arguing that the contract is void if you had withdrawn him immediately you complained about the lack of care for him - but not if you have continued to send him there.

The school will almost certainly pursue you for the debt.

[llareggub]

I am very surprised that you can't remember such a term in the contract. It is a pretty standard one in my experience. Don't they say that ignorance is no defence?

Personally I would concentrate on your allegations that your son's needs are not being met because he is being bullied. Or claim hardship, which seems to be the truth. If you start claiming that you didn't know the contract terms or don't remember them, I think you will be on dodgy ground.

[LIZS]

Having not yet paid for this term doesn't exactly place you in a strong negotiating position.

[avenanap]

ds was offered a scholarship for the last 2 years by the old head. She sold the school and did not pass this on to the new head so I know a discount is out of the question. There was a new pupil on a taster day last term, the class is full as it is. Ds gets very little pastoral care, I have to send information to the head about the bahaviour that gifted children can have but he doesn't seem to care. he doesn't even acknowledge that he has recieved it. I have tried talking to him about ds and what type of discipline he responds to but he doesn't listen. he says he's uncaring but doesn't tell me in what way. he is insistent that ds should go to a boys boarding school and refuses to listen to anything I have to say. I've had enough.

[Flamesparrow]

To me, it sounds like your son is not happy, and you don't want him to go.

I don't know how your finances stand though - if you can afford to not pay, still do the holiday etc, but have the money there if they do chase for it, then I would say to go for it.

My mate at college just moved with no forwarding address anywhere I sensed that there was more to it than just school fees though!!!

[avenanap]

LIZS, I do have the fees and next terms. I'm going to send last terms with his notice letter, once I have figured out what to say, next terms won't be paid until they have sent me an invoice. Unless I decide not to bother.

He's been there for 4 years, that's why I can't remember. I am not using this as an excuse. He told me he knew how to help ds but he doesn't. Ds has a new school for September. The heads basically "strongly suggested" I find ds a boarding school for this september, isn't this kicking him out?

[LIZS]

Did you have anything in writing about the shcolarship , presumably not all the staff changed so someone may have known to follow it up (Bursar ?)and their attitude towards your ds won't have soley been coloured by a new head. However in leaving prematurely you may have had to pay some back anyway.

[avenanap]

Flame, I couldn't afford to do this. It's the fees or the holiday. Personally, I think he'd benefit more from seeing how other people live so it's not really a holiday. The new school will ask them for ds's file so I can't do a moonlightrun. Nice idea though.

[avenanap]

LIZS, there's nothing in writing, she wipped the computer systems when she left . They have got through alot of staff in the last 4 years, there's only one teacher who has been there since ds started and he's an arse. ds's class teacher disciplines him the way I do but the others don't. he has offered to bring it up on the next teacher training day but I don't think it will make any difference. The head thinks he knows best.

[llareggub]

I can't see a way around the fees issue. Check the website, I'm pretty sure there will be mention of the notice required. Your best bet may be to see just how strongly the headmaster feels about your son leaving and see if you can negotiate, but I rather suspect you are not in a strong position.

Of course you know all this, don't you?

[Flamesparrow]

Thought it wouldn't be that simple

I live in a non-fee paying world as you can tell

[avenanap]

Yes, I'm afraid so. I was thinking of sending the fees I owe from last term with his notice letter. Keeping hold of next terms until the start of next term, then getting the new head to have a meeting with me so I can tell him how I want ds managed in his last term. I also and him to agree to this in writing. What do you think?

Although, not taking him back and spending the fees on a trip around the world sounds so very, very tempting.

[LIZS]

I don't think you have an alternative to giving the full term's notice or fees in lieu whether the decision to leave is yours or ds is "invited" to do so. It seems from what you have said that the feeling that the school cannot serve him well is mutual. Howwver if you plan for him to attend next term then I don't see you have much alternative but to pay eventually or you may find him being excluded which cannot be good . Unless he can start his new school sooner and his place be filled in which case maybe you could come to an arrangement but yu'd have to be up to date first. I doubt they would capitulate if they think it will simply fund an early holiday though or they lose out financially.

[avenanap]

Hmm. Thankyou. I wasn't going to take him back and not pay. I was thinking not to take him back at all. I'm sending them the money for last term tomorrow.

[stuffitllama]

Good luck avanap the school seems to have really let you down and practically chucked him out anyway. I know someone whose head said something very similar and the father immediately came back with ok that sounds like you don't want him anymore I'm taking him out without notice. And he did, and wasn't chased. That wasn't in the UK though. I'm not a legal eagle so wouldn't give advice but want to wish you luck.

[avenanap]

I've just emailed them the terms notice. I've said I want a meeting with the head before handing over next terms fees. I think it's fair that I tell him how I want my child to be treated in his last term. If he does not agree he'll be getting no more money.

[Flame]

Good luck! I really like the sound of your cultural trip