So do i text back answer A, B or C to MIL?

[saltire]

It's Ds1's 10th birthdya next weekend. her and step PIL are arriving late on Friday night. To be honest, I'm annoyed about them coming anyway, she called up several weeks ago and said they were coming, just the day after my mum had said "we would like to come down in March/April will get back to you with the dates". however when MIL called to say she was coming, then DH had just said ok, so I then ahd to call my mum and say they couldn't come down. Next bone of contention was because they wanted to stay with us, which means us giving up our beds for them, and DH and I crammed into the tiny "3rd bedroom", for a week, me in the single bed, him on the air bed.
Anyway, last night I got a text from her, saying "I got DS1 a birthday cake. Do you need candles?"

So, do i reply
A) Oh well I will just cancel the one I have ordered for him
B) I wish you ahd told me, we will have 2 now
C) No I don't need candles

DH thinks I should just let it go, but then he thinks I get myself wound up uneccesarily when she's around. he thinks its fine for her to clean my house, comment on food, hide the TV remote, delete programmes from the Sky reminder etc etc

[Lauriefairycake]

B and C (in my head though, you can never have enough cake)

They sound a bit of a nightmare

poor you

[allgonebellyup]

c

[Buda]

(D) Thanks but I already have a cake and candles

[TurkeyLurkey]

B and C. And don't give up your bed for them. They might not be so keen to come next time then

[Bellie]

I would get DH to talk to her about the fact that you have already got ds a birthday cake!

I would be wound up about it too - it is the sort of thing that my MIL does (e.g. she rang and said that she had done a stocking for dd the first christmas that dd knew about christmas!!)

You could always let her bring it but not have it for the party iyswim - like laurie I am of the thought that you can never have too much cake!

[cluelessnchaos]

d, ooh that will be lovely to have on brithday eve, have lots of candles already, and plan for huge cake on birthday

[looneytune]

I'm with Buda. She sounds a nightmare!

[saltire]

laurie - step PIL is lovely actually, i get on really well with him, far better than I do with PIL, poor guy puts up with MIL he's a star.
It's her that annoys me, I have for example told DH that he will need to take our TV out of the bedroom and fit it into the small room somehow, as usually when MIl is here she fixes the TV on discovery or history channels during the day and denies all knowledge of having the remote, then at night she will sit there and if the sky thing comes up and says "house is due to start on channle 5, press select to view or back up to cnacel" she will then press back up (although she only does this if I'm out of the room, and then tells me that "no reminder for anyhting came up". So lastt time I spent nearly every night watching my tv in the bedroom on the portable
God knows what she'll be like when she dicovers we have sky+

[dizzychixies]

ours have done EXACTLY the same by announcing a visit over dd2's birthday and I'll now have to change everything we have in place.

just get both cakes but tell her you'll be using the one you ordered for his party and hers for a family thing either the night before or after.

smile sweetly and grit teeth, tis an unfortunate situation but am sure ds will be thrilled to have them stay - this is what I keep saying to myself over and over and over and over and over again!

[TurkeyLurkey]

But seriously..why are you giving up your bedroom?

[dizzychixies]

oh lord have just read your tv problems too - are we related to same people?!?! although in ours its FIl who insists on watching sky sports news all day and night, the same updates over and over again. he's either behind a paper, demanding cups of tea and biscuits brought to him or watching telly - no interaction with the kids, no help around the house, he just causes more problems and last time when he didn't get his way he stomped off out the house in the middle of a storm without telling anyone he was going, no mobile, no coat and disappeared for 2hours - dh wasted and hour driving about in the fecking car looking for him

thank god they're staying in a travel lodge this time. Am planning on having so many kids there is no room for them in this house, ever

[dizzychixies]

an do NOT give up your room, if the single and inflatabe is good enough for you its good enough for them

[saltire]

turkey, we live in a 3 bedroom married quarter, however becasue DH isn't an officer, the third bedroom is actually cupboard sized. (This applies to all non-officer quarters by the way). It has a single bed in it. Then there is our room which has our bed and furniture in, then the DSes room,a dn they ahve had to ahve bunk beds so they could have some room to actually play.
DH has refused to let MIL sleep on a bunk bed, likewise he said they shouldn't have to sleep on the single bed and air bed in the cupboard bedroom. So we are having to.

[dizzychixies]

why does dh refuse? do they sleep on the floor when you visit them?

[PortAndLemon]

"Have DS1's birthday cake and candles already, but will be nice to have yours the evening before/day after [delete as applicable]".

And don't give up room.

And hide the remote yourself before she gets there.

[WigWamBam]

Definitely (D): Sorry but I already have cake and candles.

I might also add "There is a nice B&B down the road which I have booked you into. Hope that's OK".

[Twiglett]

That's very sweet of you but we have already arranged DS's birthday cake, can you get your money back or will it freeze?

[saltire]

And her incessant bloody cleaning does my head in as well. I'm on a roll now. She will arrive with cleaning stuff, and food. She doesn't eat
Pork - unless it's bacon.
Chicken that is a whole bird, only pieces
Chilli
Curry of any sort
Mexican food
Pasta unless it is spag bol.

She watches soaps constantly. last itme she was at ours for more than a weekend, DH was away, which I think has some bearing on how she behaves. Anyway, i Had left the PC logged on and caught her reading my emails- she claimed she was looking to connect to the internet. She told DS1 when he was 5 how to work Google, she has showed them lots of game sites, which DH dopesn't like becasue he says some of them try and add spyware. She told DH that I should go on Kim and Aggie

[hercules1]

When I am a mil I will never stay in my childrens house. I will instead stay in a b and b and get to have a comfortable lie in and have my own space. I would never be comfortable if others were giving up their bed for me.

[lentengrrl]

buy her one of the trinny and susannah books for her birthday.

or how to be a good granny or something.

[saltire]

My Dh said to me the other night "you might be a mIL one day" and I told him that my experiences with his mum and step mum had given me plenty insight into what not to do as a MIL

[TurkeyLurkey]

No I wouldn't be happy either taking over someone elses bedroom for A WHOLE WEEK!!!!! Can you not convice your DH that this is a bad idea. At least then you'd have your own personal space to escape too when she's doing your head in.