Am I unfashionable/ boring/ old/ being over protective?

[mummynumber2]

Or is it un-acceptable for my 11 yo DSD to wear knee high, high heeled boots, mini skirt, fake leather plastic jacket, full make-up including bright red lipstick, huge hoop earings?
Please help, DP and I at our wits end!

[Maidamess]

Where did she get all these things from?

[harpsichordcarrier]

how did this happen? where is she wearing this outfit?

[mummynumber2]

Her mother. Who seems to think this is a good look.

[lillypie]

It is absolutely unacceptable!Stick to your guns.You are in charge.

Where is she getting the clothes and make-up from?

[Maidamess]

Perhaps you could say you and her Mother have different ideas of what is OK for a young girl to wear, and she can wear them with her mum but not when with you?

Or take her out shopping for some clothes a
that are appropriate, let her choose, but 'direct' towards better things.

Little girls do go through this OTT way of dressing, its all the videos on tv.

[Miggsie]

I'd go mad if my DD did this. I shudder to think what DH would do (lock her in her room for 5 years I expect).
YANBU
But how did she get those clothes? Burn them.
Do her friends wear this kind of thing? See if you can get her a new bunch of friends?!
Is she trying to impress boys? Tell her how crap boys are.

[KristinaM]

well i woudln't like it on my DD

but its very hard for you to do anything, or you will be the wicked step mother

[mummynumber2]

She wears stuff like this all the time. It's not just dressing up.

[Kimi]

It's a wonderful idea if you want her to look like a bratz doll.

YANBU

[hercules1]

[Hulababy]

YANBU; definitely inappropriate clothes for such a young girl.

[sherby]

Oh oh oh I was having a think about this the other day and came up with a theory.

See I distinctly remember around this age starting to really notice boys and wanting them to notice me. So in my naive way and in the way of all young girls I suppose you start wanting to be attractive to the opposite sex but because you are so young you have no idea how to be subtle and sexy you just go the whole hog and start looking really really tarty.

She probably thinks she looks the height of sexiness whereas we know differently. Her mum needs to have a word.

[Carmenere]

Oh a tough one! Obviously dressing like a short prostitute is not ideal for an 11 yr old. Perhaps devious tactics are called for - how about just telling her that she looks chavvy/cheap/tarty? I would never advocate making her feel bad about how she looks but I would be VERY uncomfortable with an outfit like that. Alternatively you could bar her from dressing like that in your house and when she is out with you.
Oh and her feet aren't fully formed yet, high heels are very damaging for children.

[mummynumber2]

It's so difficult as she has now started just taking herself to her mothers house if she doesn't like the rules here. Her mother has always dressed her in the most appauling clothing. At the age of 8 she arrived in a plastic snake skin skirt madr by a company called 'Lolita Clothing'. We always used to just throw these things away and buy her more appropriate clothing but now she would notice.

[Carmenere]

Seriously though, try appealing to her inner snob, most girls have one. It is worth a try.

[mummynumber2]

I think you're right Sherby. She has just started becoming interested in boys and I'm sure that is a part of it. But also she justs wants to be grown-up. Either was I need some way of stopping her doing this!

[LynetteScavo]

at "lolita clothing"

I used to use make up at this age, much to my mothers horror, but she never showed me how to use make up, and could only ctitise my clothes (not her "thing")
Could you try a special girls day out, buy some suitable clothes form a trendy, look for some good role models in magazines, buy some sublte make- up, etc.

What ever you do, don;t use negative words about her apearence, rather try to guide he in the right direction.

[mummynumber2]

She's a very sensitive girl and gets very upset easily. Was going to start making a point of pointing out other people (mainly adults, cos lets face it not many children would wear this!)and remarking that they look tarty or chavy. Then perhaps a shopping trip in an attempt to steer her in the right direction. Can't critisise her or her mother.

[Carmenere]

Or perhaps allow her to choose some things out of the Boden catalogue
Actually giving her tips and advise is a good idea.

[Triathlete]

Where's your husband in all this?

[Divastrop]

what on earth is her mother thinking?does she want her to be prostitute when she grows up?

agree with lynettescavo's post.DSD will just rebel if you try to tell her what to do.my mum bought my 9 year old dd an inapproprate top and when she put it on dh told her to get a cardi/jumper on NOW!,which really upset her.i prefer the softly-softly approach,and i also explain to dd1 why its not good for young girls to dress like that.

i allow her to wear a little make-up sometimes,i have given her some pale eyeshadow and pink lipstick that is barely noticeable,so that she doesnt think its some big forbidden thing and want to go out looking like a tart when shes a bit older.

[mummynumber2]

Really MinkVelvet?! I haven't seen any of DSD's friends in anything quie so ounrageous. Not sure if that makes me feel better or worse.
Do they tend to grow out of it? If it's just a short phase then maybe it's slightly easier to deal with. And, as a teacher do you think there actually is a problem with her looking like this? I mean, if it's just that DP and I feel uncomfortable with it and no harm will come to her (apart from huge embarasment in a couple of years time) is it worth getting this upset about?

[Heated]

Could she have clothes that she only wears at yours? A whole separate wardrobe?

Maybe start doing paint-balling and yomping through countryside where the hooker-look doesn't really cut it. Or show her the reruns of Keeping Up Appearances and tell her she looks like Rose.