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AIBU?

to think I'm saintly and probably a bit stupid to......

8 replies

PeckaRolloverAgain · 01/03/2008 14:05

....have moved into the nursery with newborn baby 8 weeks ago and have taken on 100% of the burden of settling, nightfeeds and early mornings.

I dont mind as such but i do mind that DH takes for granted going to bed and sleeping solidly all night.

OP posts:
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Joolyjoolyjoo · 01/03/2008 14:08

You are saintly, but it's almost easier, I found, to get up myself, rather than listen to DH crashing around, moaning, stubbing his toe, baby screaming etc etc- not conducive to good sleep!! Just make sure he pays you back in other ways (takes over while you have a nice bath, changes the exploding nappies etc) and never let him forget just how saintly you are and how lucky he is!!

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ladytophamhatt · 01/03/2008 14:09

pecka, you've entered my world.

thats exactly what I do but I have to admit it but for me I love the fact that its all me.

I can understand how annoying it is but after doing the same for all 4 dsess I now get annoyed if dh tried to take over....he tries you see, but because I always do it ds4 only wants me.
A double edge sword really....

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bumpybecky · 01/03/2008 14:14

well I've got an 8 week old baby too and I've booted DH out into the spare room

please tell me you've got a decent adult sized bed in the nursery?

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yurt1 · 01/03/2008 14:17

Oh it's easier. Better sleep all round. Although I kick dh out into the spare room. He's just arrived back in the marital bed and is moaning that he's tired because ds1 keeps waking him up at 4am. Er yes love that's why after 8 years of it I'm knackered. He's too scared to go back to the spare room in case he has to stay there until ds1 leaves home

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intravenouscoffee · 01/03/2008 14:19

Agree with Jooly BUT in the longer term it gets really really tiring. I pretty much did the same thing when DD was small except DH slept in spare room and I had DD in our room or the nursery as she got bigger and so got up to feed her. All okay initially but DD didn't sleep through the night until she was 6 months old so by 3 months I was totally exhausted by feeding at 11pm, 3am and 5-6am (ish) as well as all through the day. Was also staying up from 5am feed onwards and not going to bed till after 11pm feed so averaging about 5 hrs sleep a night. Did try going back to bed after she fed at 5 but felt so awful when she woke at 7 that it wasn't worth it. Eventually at 3 months we agreed that DH would do the dream feed (expressed milk at first, then formula) at 11 so I could get more sleep and that helped a bit. Just be wary of doing it all, all the time cos it's okay at first but as the months wear on it can get a bit exhausting and difficult then to ask for help. Might just be me tho - kept thinking that single parents do it all themselves and manage to cope although I still have no idea how. They deserve medals imo!

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juuule · 01/03/2008 14:23

We had the baby in our room but it was me that got up to do the settling, nightfeeds(bfing) and early mornings. I thought that was normal. Not much point both of us being completely knackered and dh had to get up to go out to work.

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Expelliarmum · 01/03/2008 14:24

Been there, done that, have shiny halo to prove it. DH was working 60 hours per week to provide for us though so didn't mind! If on other hand DH was just being an idle sod, I would have employed strategic non co-operation techniques! (no food, clean socks or nookie!)

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MaeWest · 01/03/2008 14:27

I used to let DH get a full night's sleep when I was on mat leave. Often he would decamp to the spare room whilst DS was in with me. I bf, so did all night feeds, and when DS got bigger he didn't want DH to settle him at night.

I did this on the understanding that by DH getting proper sleep, he would be rested enough to help me out in the evenings and weekends by taking DS out to give me a break, doing housework, shopping etc.

Now I'm back at work 3 days a week, DS is 19 months old. Thankfully not bf in the night (5am don't count right?). We tend to share the night wakings a little more, or more often give up and all three of us snooze together more or less comfortably (kingsize bed).

Don't let your DH take sleep for granted...

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