To be so annoyed at my supposed 'best friend' for completely betraying me????

[mumblesmummy]

I was last to join a big group of lasses after school and we always had a good crack. Long story short, they were all REAL bitches (it rubbed off on me if I'm honest)and they all fell out. I was still friends with most of them and they always came to me for everything and pretty much used me as I had a house on my own and they didn't. One of the lasses was who I will call Lisa for the sake of this post. Lisa fell out with the group and went off to be a girlfriend and became a mummy and got a big posh house, and basically grew up and did the best out of them.

I finished uni, fell out with the lasses coz couldn't cope with the bitching anymore and didn't want it affecting my relationship, settled down, got engaged, got pregnant, got nice house etc etc.

So I figured I'd have even more in common now with Lisa and so i made an effort to see her quite a bit and things. Then didn't hear from her for ages and then she txt and said she was ill so she wouldn't meet me incase she passed me a bug while I'm pregnant.

I want to meet up with her to ask her to be my baby's God mum.

So next thing, I look on their facebooks and find she's been going out with them, meeting up with them, putting 'love ya' on the ends of her msgs to them. She ALWAYS slags them off and says she hates them and now she's like their best friend. Even ones she had REAL nasty grudges with in the past.

Now she's totally ignored my txts.

I've only just got out of that bitchy, tarty scene, and thought we'd be even closer now we'd both have babies and have loads in common. But she seems to want to go back to being tarty and bitchy and nasty!!

I'm not sure I should even ask her to be Godmum now.

[nickytwotimes]

Perhaps this leopard hasn't changed it's spots? Time to make new friends, methinks!

[NAB3wishesfor2008]

I am a bit surprised you have asked some one to be a God mother to your child when they don't appear to be a close friend.

Let it and her go. You aren't 5.

[donbean]

jeez, get rid, get rid of number from phone, have no more to do with it,school yard carry on, and life is tooo damn short.

[BoysOnToast]

wtf?

why on earth would you want to maintain friendships that arent friendships? youre an adult now, and a mother to boot. you need to grow up and move on.

well dont for leaving the bitchy tarty scene - now carry on with that and make new, real freiendships with people who you actually like.

[mumblesmummy]

It's just that she and her family are REALLY close family friends of mine and we grew up together but got into a really bad clique and that's how it all started.

She's such a lovely person really and I thought all this kind of stuff was long behind us (in our teens)... so I'm really peeved because she's the main one of my friends who has grown up and had a baby.

It seems she hasn't grown up at all.

I appreciate I sound really childish and stupid here but I just can't help that it's bothered me. I don't want ANYTHING to do with any of those girls again but really would have thought us two would be friends for life.

We had sort of parted a little lately because I'm a teacher and she works in a bank so we're busy. But the other lasses are just dead legs with no jobs and can't be arsed working because they just got leathered all the time.

[TotalChaos]

you need to expand your social circle more, someone who you don't hear from for ages isn't really best friend material I'm afraid.

[Chequers]

Message withdrawn

[mumblesmummy]

Yeah i have hundreds of friends if I'm honest. Loads from uni who I go and see regularly, loads at both my jobs and loads in general who just wern't in that clique and who are a lot more grown up and more on my wavelength nowadays.

I think because we were best friends for so long, i just assumed we still were and always would have that title. I guess i see her least out of ALL my friends now and she lives the closest Hadn't realised how much we'd grown apart.

She's bought my bump hundreds of things and she's the only person I know to ask pregnancy questions. I also saw her all the time when she was pregnant last year and did loads of stuff for her and absolutely spoil her baby rotten coz he's lovely and because our family are friends he calls me 'auntie (my name)' and he's only 1!!

I guess it's just time to move on. I even go into a childlike mind frame when I think or talk about her and the situation... so we've obviously just outgrown each other.

[ScruffyTeddy]

Playground stuff, some people dont grow up. Get rid.

I was friends with a girl for 15 years...she remembered my kids birthdays but was a bitch the rest of the time to me. There is no point to a relationship like that.

I cannot be arsed with slagging so called friends off behind their back, its not me.

[beeper]

TBH having a husband, kids and a nice house is not exactly having things in common.

You need to move away from the 'school scene'.

And its up to her who she meets and who she doent..although she should tell you straight.

Facebook it seems is a extension of the school yard.

[mumblesmummy]

I think I'll just put it down to a VERY BAD CASE OF HORMONES today. They have been fairly unbearable. And the fact it's time to move on with my real friends. Thanks everyone.

[Wilkie]

That sounds like a teenager posted the OP. Get a grip.

[BoysOnToast]

ok, so given all your posts, inc the hormones one, i would say im sorry i was quite so harsh earlier, that you know full well how rubbish your OP sounds, and also that, no YANBU to feel a bit peeved that the person you had thought was lovely has turned out to be a bit shallow and shitty...

it happens. i have v sadly had to wave goodbye to a few friendships over the years because they had turned out not to be what i would later class as 'good' friends.

cest la vie, non?

[mumblesmummy]

Yep, I'm sure you're right. I'm only 22 anyway so it's not like I'm ancient. I think a cake and a sleep will make it all better lol.

Wilkie- I assume you didn't read the entire thing. As i stated previously I am fully aware I sounded childish. And was in fact childish to give a toss at all.

[BoysOnToast]

och, 22 - youre still a baby!

yeah, this shit happens sometimes. you'll be right, as they say in Auz.

[mumblesmummy]

Thanks Boys

[J2O]

mumble-it does sound like your feeling a bit down about it all and of course its affected you after knowing her for so long. does she know how you are feeling? would you be able to discuss it with her? have a good sleep and see how you feel in the morning

[J2O]

what i meant was-it sounds like the hormones are affecting the way you percieve(sp) things

[PotPourri]

cut adn run. You are better than that. Just leave it and move on, she adn they are not worth it chick.

[WinkyWinkola]

Bin this person as a friend and don't look back. She's probably a nice person etc but not someone you can ever rely on. Don't be rude, just fade out of her life. She'll always disappoint you and your child.

You've got stacks of pals. I'd just stick with the ones who are reliable, fun and kind. She doesn't sound any of these.

[mumblesmummy]

I think I just needed a little sympathy despite knowing how stupid it all is .

J2o- she doesn't know how I'm feeling because I can't get hold of her. But she's wasted sooooooooo much of my time moaning about them and saying she was so glad to be away from it all that she would definately know I'd be a little upset to know that she's doing it all over again and hasn't had the decency to just tell me rather than ignoring my calls/txts. Now I've cooled down, I'm not fussed. I've millions of other friends to keep my mind off it, but it was just the initial shock that made me go 'What??!!' It's definately the hormones as you said lol. I've had such a wobbly day as my dp's having to go away to work so I'm all teary as won't see him much. So I'm just snapping over anything.

Pot- Thanks, they're definately not worth it. I wish I'd not put it on here. It was just a spur of the moment thing and I feel so silly now

Winky- thanks, good advice about the fading. I think that should be easy enough to be honest.

[J2O]

yeah but sometimes sill things can make you feel crap, have some chocolate and an early-ish night and i hope you feel better tommorrow

[J2O]

silly

[colacubes]

someone once gave me a good piece of advice, and it was that some friends are for just a certain part of our lives, they play a role in it and then they leave, not because they are not our friends or we don't like each other, its just that different stages of our lives need different friends sometimes.

tbh it sounds like you have a little unfinished business with these girls, they probably made you feel a little insecure, and now these old feelings are resurfacing when you thought you had moved on.

Leave them to it, they are shallow wanna bes, and they probably are racked with a lot of insecurities themselves trying to keep up with each other, having friends like those you could never feel secure.

Take care and enjoy the friends you have, and maybe consider your choice of god mother for a little while longer.

[mumblesmummy]

I'm still not asleep lol I just can't coz baby's in an awkward position so havn't slept for nights. I'm determined to be asleep by 15 minutes time tho!!!!
J20- Thanks so much. You've said some lovely things.

Cola- think you may have hit the nail on the head. They do make me feel very insecure. They;ve threatened me many times in the past (as I said before, VERY bad clique). And when i go shopping or something and I see one of them, I go bright red and scuttle off. I also worry that they'll spread malicious lies or that they'll think I'm hideous (as I feel fairly hideous at the moment anyway- 7 months pregnant, more than average weight gain, more interested in buying things for my baby than getting my hair done etc). It's just something I simply have to get over, just wish I'd never been involved with them in the first place as they're horrible.