To expect a word of thanks, just a "thanks for that babe"

[lucyellensmum]

IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK!!

I have spent the last week going to bed at 1am, because after putting DD to bed, i have been working on my partners accounts, preparing them for the accountant, who now just has to fill in a tax return form! (i would do it, but she always seems to find more expenses than i do!).

It was extremely stressful as we are under alot of financial pressure and i was basically faced with finding piles of screwed up recipts and invoices in disperate places in the house, collating and entering data etc. Sorting out where he was working when and what was earnt etc. Now i know i should have kept a record during the year but i have been unwell (PND) and any mention of money and accounts would send DP into a head in the sand strop.

All this stress was on MY shoulders, the only thing i asked DP to do was collate his bank statements - he couldnt even manage that with any semblance of logic (he had a headache poor soul ).

So, this morning, they are all ready to take to the accountant and we should avoid a fine.

Do i get a big kiss and a cuddle, told i have done well? (i know its not that difficult but i have not been in a good place in my head and have been in such a state ive left letters unopened from the bank etc to me, and ended up in trouble!) So, actually, doing this was a HUGE deal for me. So, i sadi to DP, i will make sure i print out those accounts for you this morning, will you take them today - yes, but not til after dinner, went to work, no kiss, nothing If i had left him to do it he would have thrown his hands up in the air and not got it done. But as it stands he has had to do NOTHING!!!

Oh well, its still early, maybe i'll get huge bunch of flowers and some expensive chocolate a text saying thankyou

[CaptainCod]

if anyoen ssaid babe to me i woudl eb forced to kill them

[Twiglett]

I'm afraid you sound rather like a pet dog looking to its owner for approval

and agree with cod re use of the word 'babe'

[TotalChaos]

He's probably being like that as he's trying to stick his head in the sand re finances, and quite possibly bricking it over what accountant will conclude. So probably too scared to be grateful iyswim.

[Twiglett]

family accounts .. there's always one person better at them than others .. I do all the financial stuff in our household, down to managing the bank accounts, sorting out investments and loans .. never expect a thank you because it's 'for da family'

[Heifer]

agree with you and Cod...

I would have said something this morning as he left - something like ' a thank you would be nice'....

Don't expect a huge bunch of flowers or chocolates etc it won't happen...

He has moved onto other things now he knows that they are all done etc...

Do tell him that you expect a thank you at least, but don't expect the world you won't get it..

[WanderingTrolley]

Hmm...to begin with I thought maybe he should have thanked you, but now I see Twig's point about working together for the family.

Is he especially thankful normally?

[fairyfly]

Does this help Here

[Wisteria]

A thank you is hardly much to ask is it? I say thank you to dp when he puts the bins out fgs - it's just courteous, no?

YANBU - especially if he knows you find it hard.

[lucyellensmum]

Twig: woof woof!! I do crave praise actually, i mean, a pat on the head from you would mean the world. I am often reffered to as the rotweiller of the family so watch i don't bite you.

The thing is, they are not the family accounts, they are the the accounts for HIS business!!!

He is usually pretty thankfull, but tonight, he has to suffer

[Chequers]

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[Chequers]

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[tissy]

are you paid to do the accounts for his business?

If not, I would submit an invoice.

[lucyellensmum]

fairyfly, was that link tongue in cheek?? If so, thanks for the laugh - if not, um, im quite scared now .

To be fair, we are supposed to be doing the business together, but even if i were his bloody secretary, i would still expect a thankyou!

[Othersideofthechannel]

I'm with wisteria on this one. I don't think you should take for granted things that are for the common good.

I do the tax return every year, it takes a fair bit of my time and I don't enjoy it but I do all the finanical stuff if this house because DH admits he is disinterested in figures. He always says thank and I think he should.

Obv it would be a bit ott for him to say thanks at every meal and me to say thank every time he washes up but if I appreciate the occasional 'thanks, that was really delicious tonight'.

[Othersideofthechannel]

I would still expect a thank you in a business situation too LEM.

[Miaou]

Hmmm, I don't know

Dh and I always thank each other for things. He always cooks. I always thank him and say how much I like the meal. This morning I have emptied the kitchen bin and cleaned it out . I haven't announced it (!), but I know that if I'm about the next time he goes to put something in, he'll say "oh you cleaned the bin out, lovely". These are our "jobs" (amongst others), but we still appreciate them being done.

And I think you are being mean over the "babe" thing - terms of affection are very personal. I would drop my jaw to the floor if dh ever called me babe but he often calls me "my darling" and I call him "love" = which I am sure is just as puketastic to some of you!

(so yes, lucyellensmum, a thank you would have been more than appropriate - but since you didn't get one, then mention it to him. But don't go mad or lose your cool, it's just not worth it)

[lucyellensmum]

good point tissy, i know he has no money, so what do you think i should have as payment in kind??

[Twiglett]

[lucyellensmum]

We have always called each other babes, maybe it is because i am such a hot chick!!

I have to admit, if someone calls me love, i see red!!

[Chequers]

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[lucyellensmum]

twig - you have made my day, my little tail is wagging away now - if you could just rub my belly and find my "itchy scratchy" bit (you know the one that makes dogs do that uncontrollable writhing and itching with back leg) and give it a good scratch i would be VVERY grateful, [LEM looks up at twig with adoring eyes and drools]

[Miaou]

There you go, LEM, horses for courses (it's my Northern background coming out, you know)

[hattyyellow]

I think he definitely should be more gracious about it, a big thank you...we are both self-employed and I HATE doing accounts...

If I also had to search for and uncrumple printer cartridge receipts, taxi receipts and bills from all over the house I would be muttering like mad...

I had to sort out three months worth in the summer and I would rather have done any household task than got on with it..I don't think it's possible to appreciate the headache that self-employed accounts cause until you've done them, being employed and just having it all done for me was so much easier!

and I hadn't been unwell as you have been..

I think it's worth mentioning how you feel, at least then you have got it out in the open..I would feel resentful too..

[lucyellensmum]

LEM is feeling sheepish.

DP has just rang to say thanks for doing the accounts and that he is really relieved that are done.



sorry twig, but that is better than any choc drops