to suggest my DH looks for a job back in UK after me encouraging him to get one here?

[pomelo]

Don´t want this to be too long....my DH is Spanish and lived/worked in England for 8 years. During that time we often spoke of us coming to live in Spain and eventually he sent off for jobs, I encouraged him to do so.

Well he got a job last April, we moved here and I had my first baby here.

To put it bluntly I HATE it here and have suggested to DH he looks into getting a job back in the UK. Understandably. he has said NO WAY -won´t even talk about it

I am so unhappy here though and its affecting everything

Your opinions please...

[Othersideofthechannel]

Why are you unhappy?
Is it really to do with Spain? What do you hate about being there?
Any chance your feelings will change when you have put down more roots? 9 months isn't a long time for getting used to life in a new place, let alone a new country.

[Alambil]

new country - new baby - new world! What a lot to take on at once!! I admire you (nutter - joke!)

Seriously, are there social groups or study groups you could go to learn the language - then making friends might be easier? Is there an emigration officer/support system that helps people settle in?

[trulymadlydeeply]

I think you need to give it a bit more time, tbh. You've done such a lot of new things in such a short time.

When we moved abroad it took me at least a year to get used to it, and that was before I started to like it. I love it now, though (3.5 years later) and hate working temporarily back in the UK.

Are there any other ex-pats you could see; or any toddler groups that you could join?

[binkleandflip]

How come you've got two threads the same going? anyway, have posted on the other

[pomelo]

Thanks all - yes probably do need to give it more time, maybe I am expecting too much too soon but I thought I "knew" the country well - people and culture but it´s not quite the same living here as a mum

But am I being unreasonable to DH to even expect him to start the job seeking process all over again beacause I am so unhappy?

Yes binkleandflip you caught me out! Two threads similar but wondered how unreasonable I was being too! This is what happens when you´ve got too much bloody time on your hands

[Domesticgodless]

I can see why Dh is annoyed with you BUT I also see your pov.

YOu couldn't know until you actually did it, what it would really be like to be in a different country. A baby changes your whole outlook too in ways you cannot predict.

He probably won't want to shift anytime soon but perhaps your 3 year plan can include a 'rethink' for you both in 1 years time (which I know may seem like an age now...)

[SSSandy2]

Well I don't think it's totally understandable that he said "no way" and refuses to even discuss it. That's no positive way forward.

However, you have to see his point of view. I don't know what he does job-wise or how old he is and how realistic it is for him to look for a job back in the UK.

In any case he will need to stick this job for at least a year, probably 2 otherwise it isn't going to look great on his cv.

How satisfied/happy was he in the UK and how much is he enjoying being back in Spain, the lifestyle and the job he has?

Can you afford to move back to the UK?

[lalalonglegs]

Is it Spain you hate or your circumstanes there? Having a baby can be very isolating regardless of where you are living but especially so if you don't have your normal support network of friends and relatives. Did you give up a job to move to Spain? Have you gone from, say, a city to a small town? It may be that you need to make adjustments to the way you are living there rather than move back to the UK. Best of luck with the new baby .

[Fimbo]

Where abouts in Spain are you? I am sure there are some other MN'rs in Spain. Perhaps you could have a Spanish meet up.