Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

AIBU?

I swore I would never post on here but.........

20 replies

stickyj · 29/12/2007 22:15

My Dh has a mad mum (very clean and tidy) and a mad Auntie. I hope to God they're not on here for any reason but here goes..OK I was pissed off this morning but Auntie has always had hygiene problems. Had a child, now 14, dirty bottles, kinckers on draining board etc. Child got through life and probably only time I've ventured into said house is when "Granny" died. (Who looked after Dh a lot and was like a kind of mum to him and it broke his heart when she dies). I was 10 weeks pregnant and volunteered to do "Do" the funeral food and help with Dh's cousin, then aged three who went to the fun eral. Got in the house, gagged and did the food,. Cat shit, wee everywhere and had to clean the little one up before the funeral service. Auntie is kind, batty. not old and a bit smelly.Fast forward to now.....my Dh and one child went to visit and said child (who expressly is not allowed in the house because I really feel like burning his clothes) has been in there for 20 mins and trod in cat shit. On the carpet. Presents from their family to mine...all stinkling of cat wee, on the paper and even when I unwrapped them, they still stunk. Selection boxes... I went ape and swore a lot. Chucked stuff outside and now DS (9) is telling me he's going to tell Auntie all the things I aid and that he's not allowed the present. I've told him that things said in our house are private and that he will offend said Auntie if he tells her what I said. I would never tell her and would thank her for presents..'cos I'm polite. Same Auntie loves animals which is why all her cats have kittens, and they have kittens, and they have kittens, which is why they all look like rejects from Gremlins and they wonder why neighbours reported them to the SS and she was shocked...need I go on? What do I do with the fing presents? DH thinks I'm over-reacting but OMG tha's just minging pants and there's no need for anyone to live like that. Prime example, when Granny died there was a light flex in the lounge, with encrusted dead flies on it, it's still there 10 years later. Same flex, same flies. No cooking done, Macd@s every night or same such.AIBU..or over reacting?

OP posts:

Report

FairyFay · 29/12/2007 22:17

tbh I think I'd do the same in your situation. It sounds truly horrid.

naturopath · 29/12/2007 22:18

YANBU

ibroughtxmascake · 29/12/2007 22:19

yanbu

Can you explain to your dc that you were just a bit angry and try to replace the selection box for him (should get one cheap in the sales), it is probably his present his is more angry about.

My mil is the same re animals, her house stinks of cat wee [vomit]

bubblerock · 29/12/2007 22:19

Yikes! Could you buy new selection boxes and swap them?

stickyj · 29/12/2007 22:21

Thanks I just thought I was being overly angry and bitchy. I did use a few choice words but I sat in my chair at hoime, next to the presents and kep sniffing. Took a present out of the bag, dropped it and then sniffed my hands, They stunk and my eyes watered!

OP posts:

Saturn74 · 29/12/2007 22:22

The presents are the least of your worries.
Can you offer any support or help to these relatives?

mylovelymonster · 29/12/2007 22:25

YANBU. Burn everything and buy replacements in the sales. Health hazard. Animal lovers do not allow animals to live in that situation let alone people/children. Cats are clean animals and would not shit/wee in their own home if happy. I'm sure others will blow me out of the water on this one, but I feel strongly. Sounds lazy and clueless, although might otherwise be a lovely person........

amytheearwaxbanisher · 29/12/2007 22:26

ynbu mabey buy selection boxes yourself[should be very cheap now]and swap them?

stickyj · 29/12/2007 22:29

Been there done that. They don't need support, there are two working adults and their child is now 14. Had tried in the past to help with Health Visitor etc and was told that as the child was not at risk I could not interfere. Said child was fed, loved and had a bed. Said child was looked after well enough and just because she didn't go to bed at a normal time and ate crap, was none of my business because I did theings differently. Long story, she's 14 now and they're still strange, I keep out of things now, have heard reports about truanting etc but Auntie denies such and TBH have enough on my plate at the moment without worrying about them. Speak to girl on the phone and they're happy enough family, grubby but happy

OP posts:

WigWamBam · 29/12/2007 22:30

They sound as if they need help, not slagging off behind their backs.

Do be careful what you say in front of your children though; you never know when it might come back to haunt you.

Alambil · 29/12/2007 22:31

what about the RSPCA - if the cats are interbreeding they need stopping (neutering)...?

Saturn74 · 29/12/2007 22:31

Fair enough.
Bin presents.
Replace.
Bribe DS to keep schtum.

PeachesMcLean · 29/12/2007 22:32

YANBU at all. Sounds grim. How come DH is so blind to the hygiene thing? Sounds like it's beyond normal male blindness. DH does sound very loyal though bless him.

WigWamBam · 29/12/2007 22:34

(Sorry, just read my post back and it sounds much harsher than I intended it to. Apologies!)

stickyj · 29/12/2007 22:41

It's not my job to help them now, they've had years of this, Dh's family are weird, really weird so long I could do a spot in prob every thread on MN and not finish. I used to offer to help with cleaning and such but why? She has a job, so does he. They're lazy, dirty and disorganised. Dh frequently gets a birthday present two months after the date. There is no excuse, they have one child (who's survived through god knows what germs) and they refuse to see they have a problem. SS have been in and this is one example. The carpet was ripped up and even the lino then concrete stunk to high heaven. They're not in sheltered housing with SN, (I have worked the people in this situation who are deaf/blind, so don't anyone have a go at me) so they have no excuse apart from being half soaked dirty and lazy.(But she's reasonally sane and much nicer than DH's mum who is a witch..) My house has cobwebs, grubby patches etc but I look at their house and it would be hard work for "How clean is your house" to do. Years and years of shit, and I mean shit, in the carpets, up the walls and I would pee on the garden rather than go near their toilet.

OP posts:

KITTYmaspudding · 29/12/2007 23:03

oh yuk, can you buy ds a replacement present?

SpikeandDru · 29/12/2007 23:07

Say "Thank You" and just replace the selection boxes with identical copies - they are even cheaper now Xmas is over.
Sasd the house is so dirty but who knows if she was ever taught HOW to keep a house clean if the family have probs. Sad.

SueBaroo · 29/12/2007 23:11

yes, easy to replace the selection boxes.

With all the goodwill in the world, the state of their house and their oddness is entirely their business. You're not unreasonable to object when it encroaches on your lives in the way it has with the presents, but I agree with you that it's not your job to tidy them up.

wannaBe · 29/12/2007 23:14

tbh I would report, anonomously, to the RSPCA. People who are animal lovers don't treat animals that way, and the animals don't deserve to be treated that way.

The child is probably the healthiest child on the block - lot of evidence to suggest that the filthier the house the healthier the child .

mylovelymonster · 29/12/2007 23:17

.......... in a 'what does not kill us makes us stronger' kind of way...........

Flip

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.