To think she's an embarassment to herself and being horrid to me?

[LolaTheShowgirl]

My mum is married to a foreign man who is ok mostly but doesn't help in any way at all, it's like that with the majority of men in his culture so she does everything for him, which he still slates her for calling her lazy and a bad wife.

That's not really what i'm ranting about today though. She's having a few relatives over tonight for dinner and cooking a dish that is native to her husbands country. She left the house in a tip last night but this morning she's blaming me for it and rushing around stressing that she won't be tidy and have dinner ready for tonight. We're not posh...it's just 2 relatives coming for dinner as I said! As i'm on a diet it's quite important I eat breakfast so I was preparing my eggs and bacon and shrooms and she totally went off on one that I was messing up more....omg, the kitchen was already a state so I put everything away and settled on quavers(!!!) just to keep the peace! For breakfast...they're disgusting!

I knew she was stressing so before I did anything I cleaned up her messy kitchen from last night and hoovered all downstairs for her and she's even having the cheek to send me out to asda for her cookery stuff later, even after her outburst. The best thing is I won't be having any dinner as I have mine at set times and can no way have what they're having!!! So, that's the first part of it...still following?

So everytime we have relatives she puts on this huge show of how brilliant a wife she is to ethnic husband, how she slaves over him etc etc and I feel embarassed for her because it's all give, give, give and a real man wouldn't sit there while the wife does everything, would they? I can't really describe how more embarassing she is to herself, but anyway, i'm planning a sweet escape tonight going 'to a weight watchers meeting' when really i'll be in the library on here no doubt! I HATE my family, they only come around when they want something then the rest of the time you don't hear from them for 6 months!

[PrincessSnowLife]

I take it you are livng with your mum and her husband? That would be tough at the best of times but worse I suppose if you don't agree with their relationship. Are you planning on moving out?

but on another note, lola... 'ethnic husband' is not going to win you many friends on here, I suspect...

[SheherazadetheSwedishjulbok]

did you have a thread on this a while back but with a different name?

[BrieVinDeAlkaSeltzer]

May I refer my learned friends to Exhibit A:

The private schools have broken up already.

[doggiesayswoof]

If I were you I would get plans underway to move out asap and leave your mum to her own choices.

[slim22]

Lola honey, as you have been told repetedly on this forum you need to get a life!

[kittylouise]

Are you 15? I apologise for offending in advance, but you sound like Vicky Pollard.

[doggiesayswoof]

Good point Brie. Goodness, the childcare must be a problem with all those extra days' holiday.

[WanderingHolly]

Arf at Brie.

Double arf at the diet breakfast of bacon and eggs.

Her life, her business, Lola.

[GooseyLoosey]

Lola, what response were you looking for?

[LolaTheShowgirl]

Ok, i'm going to find a life off of here!

[Egg]

I was a bit at the diet breakfast of bacon and eggs, and then settling for quavers... toast is really quite quick, and what can be easier than pouring some milk on some cereal???????

Made me tho.

[LolaTheShowgirl]

I'm on weight watchers....you eat what you like as long as you stay within the points and hey, ww even do their own bacon.

[PersephoneSnowballSnape]

neither here nor there whetehr he's 'ethnic' i know plenty of WASP men who can't seem to put a pair of socks in the laundry basket

yes, you're being unreasonable if it's your mums house. she wiped your arse when you were little, (hopefully) i don't think you can begrudge her a bit of hoovering and a grocery run.

i can understand that you may be reticent that your mum is waiting hand and foot on her husband... but she's presumably old enough and intelligent enough to make her own choices, even if you disagree with them.

[GooseyLoosey]

Lola, as I said, not quite clear what kind of support/advice/comments you are after here. Can you explain?

[LolaTheShowgirl]

And you can all laugh but i'm really at rock bottom. I suppose that's why I focus on other peoples lives so much because mine seems unrepairable at the moment. I really don't know why i'm here. I'm gonna go now.

[mairseydotes]

god I am having a sh*t day today and almost in tears here at work but I have really really laughed my tights off at this...thank you so much Brie et al....!!

[doggiesayswoof]

If you are really at rock bottom then come on here and ask for some help - you will get tons of sympathy (I would get a new name first though) - instead of fudging the issue by moaning about your mum.

[LolaTheShowgirl]

Hi janitor. The family let the agency down at the last minute, found someone privately so they wouldn't have to pay the agency fees even though I was booked. It was my chance to get out of here and I gave up my job for it. I've denied I was fairynthechristmastree because I didn't like to moaning, self pitying person i'd become on here but i'm still that person unfortunately, probably even more so now.

[LolaTheShowgirl]

I tried to get a house with the council too but now you have to bid on them and i'm always the last to be considered.

[choosyfloosy]

Bacon and eggs also ok on Atkins...

I'd agree it doesn't sound like much of a balance in this relationship - good for you for doing housework for her. It is also VERY tough sharing a kitchen with other people. Which means you have to swallow a lot of anger, otherwise you will be at each other's throats constantly. I guess you were hoping to let off steam here? fair enough.

I'm not quite sure why you can't have dinner with them though - as you say, weight watchers means you can have what they like, and I've never understood that it restricts the time you can eat. Do you think your mother would like you to be there, or is she stressed because she knows you don't approve of her relationship choices?

If you can afford it, why not do something more relaxing tonight - go swimming, go to a movie?

[MotherFunk]

Message withdrawn

[HonoriaGlossop]

lola I remember your other threads. What comes across really strongly is that you need to take responsibility for shaping your own life. You tried with the nannying job and that went through no fault of yours, but it isn't the only nannying job in the world.

If you're in the library tonight to be on MN,why not also use the time to look up the careers section and start planning?

it's hard to do this alone, without support from parents or friends but it is perfectly possible and many people have done it.

Only you have the chance and the opportunity to shape your own life. no one is going to do it for you.

What money do you have coming in at the moment? Income support?