to be annoyed at my friend for not getting rid of her DD's nits cause now my DS has them?

[kindersurprise]

About 3 weeks ago my friend's DD was sent home from kindergarted as she had nits. She was at home for 10 days, went back for a few days then was sent home again.

She has been back in kindergarten since Monday. According to the GP, she was nitfree last Thursday.

Now DS has been sent home as he has nits which is a pain as he has to stay off 10 days. I am selfemployed so have to call off my classes.

My problem with my friend is that her DD has very long, very thick hair. She is 3yo and her hair reaches her waist. I cannot see that she can say that DD is definately free off nits. She would have to spend hours combing and searching. It would be very easy to miss just one egg, they are so tiny.

The first time she had nits, she talked about getting her DD's hair cut but has not done this. I know that it would not get rid of the horrible beasties, but it would make detecting them much easier.

To make matters worse, when I called her to tell her I could not take her DD home with me this afternoon as my DS has nits, she said, "Well, now I know where DD caught them again" as the kindergarten had just phoned to let her know. I was so as I have done loads to help her, even looking after her DD when she was working. I have a dent in my tongue from biting it.

[tissy]

It's perfectly possible that your friend did deal with her dd'd lice, and she and your ds have both caught them from a third party.

So yes, YABU.

[sandyballs]

10 days off for nits . Whereabouts are you? I just find that astonishing. You'll probably find half the class has nits, so not necessarily from this girl. It is constantly going round DD1's class.

[lulumama]

soryr, but 10 days off for nits , that is unreasonable

our school has a policy of sending anyone home with nits, to be treated that day, and they are back in the next day

also, no prrof that your child caught nits from her, so YABU

it is an occupational hazard of being a small child at school/ kindergarden

[kindersurprise]

I know, I know. It could well be that it is someone else in the group. I was more annoyed about her comment that DS had given her DD nits.

[SpikeandDru]

Headlice are really hideous aren't they? Am amazed at the nursery's policy though - 10 days exclusion for headlice seems extreme to me. With the best will in the world you can't expect her to cut her DDs hair - for one thing her DD may quite like having long hair - if I had a daughter though I would find it too much hassle. Chances are that someone else in the nursery has got headlice being left untreated and both your children are suffering. Do they inspect hair there - am so amazed at the 10 day exclusion - nothing like that at DS's nursery when he went - I treated him and kept him home for a day or so but then sent him back - no further re-occurance.

[lulumama]

you are angry with her for saying the same thing you are saying about her !

there are probably a few other children there with nits too

[VictorianSqualor]

at ten days for headlice.

I understand you being annoyed at the remark wrt your DS, I would be too, but tbh they are little blighters, and it's just something that goes round, sometimes there will be a child that everyone knows is passing aroudn headlice because the parents don't treat them, but more often than not it just goes round in circles, especially at kindergarten, both children are of the age where they don't really have 'friends' as such, and just play with/alongside whoever is there.

[kindersurprise]

Ok, sorry. Have just spoken to her.

I know I am being unreasonable. I was just so annoyed and pissed off at the thought of having both of them home for 10 days (I brought DD home too). Thankfully my parents arrive on Monday so we can keep them busy.

We are in Germany, btw, and the 10 day thing is from our GP not the kindergarten. The idea is that the child should be completely lice free before they go back. The problem being, some GP write the note after one day.

So, does anyone have any top tips on getting rid of the horrible things?

I have been told so many conflicting things. Do the bedclothes/carseat/toys all need to be disinfected/washed or not?

[ScottishMummy]

are you so sure her DD passed the nits?The other mum has enough worrying about her dd nits.be more empathic.nits not the end of the world.

[lulumama]

you need to treat the nits, don;t know if you get the full marks mousse in germany, that is a good one, and really quick. and then combing every day with a nit comb and using tea tree shampoo and conditioner can help keep them away. i thought it was a myth they live on bedding , toys etc, as they need to live on a human head ?

[kindersurprise]

lulu,
That is what I have read, but here in Germany they recommend covering your whole house in a cloud of dettol and washing everything that the DCs have come into contact with.

Don't know what I could do with the shaggy rug in the living room though, there could be all sorts of vermin living in there, it is so thick.

[ScruffyTeddy]

I think you and your friend are being unreasonable blaming each other . (sorry you did ask).

You children could have caught them from any child there, each other, any combination of...

A friend of mine recently came around here fuming that she had caught nits, had blamed her friend and refused to let her in her house! They had a massive falling out over it. I then made the point that erm...well you just told me you had nits, then walked in my house...I didn't throw you out, would you have been upset if I had? Or maybe one of my kids has them..and you've caught them from us? She went a bit quiet at this point!

I checked their hair in front of her, and mine too just for the record and we were all nit free thankfully. Its not nice, but kids get nits, no point falling out over it.

Some of the treatments around now are supposed to be good. Also get a huge bottle of cheapo conditioner, slap it on damp hair and comb, comb, comb. Tea tree spray is supposed to be useful also.

[mamhaf]

I can't find it now, but there was excellent advice on MN some time ago about using vinegar to get rid of the blighters.
It's quite involved, but worked for us and doesn't involve chemicals...basically you swill your child's hair in malt vinegar for 20 minutes every day for 7 days, then wash it and dry as normal.
You still need to comb it through to get rid of the dead lice and nits, but the vinegar does seem to kill them.
We didn't follow it to the letter - some nights I just wrapped her vinegary head in a towel and left it for half an hour before shampooing and rinsing.
Nothing else had worked, and she kept getting repeated infestations - I know how annoying it is - we all used to get really stressed by it and dd was frequently in tears.
Unfortunately if there's a child in the class whose parents don't treat the problem, it keeps recurring. Now she's moved school, it's all ok.
Hth

[manchita]

How do you know it was this girl passing on nits to your dd?
Once they arrive in any setting with lots of children it is very hard to get rid of them

[VictorianSqualor]

Looks like this is one of those threads that could've done with the OP being able to add

OK I KNOW I'VE SPOKEN TO MY FRIEND NOW IT'S SORTED

To her OP.

[kindersurprise]

I have now calmed down and admitted that I was being unreasonable. I will speak to her shortly and see what the kindergarten said to her.

The big problem is that although we are keeping our DCs off for 10 days, others send their children back the next day. So they just keep getting infected.

My friend just started back at work in October and has had to take a week off to look after her DD. She cannot take any more time off. Her mum still works so cannot take her full time, she did take holidays the last time. She might have to take her DD to her horrible MIL (8hour drive, oneway) if she is not allowed in kindergarten.

[kindersurprise]

Thanks for that VS, did think about it

[lulumama]

LOL at VS

i love a happy ending

off you all go, nothing to see here

[Spidermama]

YABU.

It's estimated that at any one time around a half of primary school children have nits.

You just need to relax about it and stop wasting energy by blaming others.

No-one knows exactly whose head a nit walked off onto your child's head.

FWIW I think your friends kindergarten has over reacted dreadfully.

I just keep on top of the nits as best I can but there's no point in getting stressed about it as we are all fighting a losing battle if we think our kids can reamin nit free.

They're NOT life threatening.

[Spidermama]

Ahhh. I see you are in Germany. This all makes much more sense now.

I just got back from Berlin last night btw.

[Spidermama]

And sorry for not reading the whole thread before I posted.

[kindersurprise]

lol, I will get used to saying the same thing lots of times.

How did you enjoy Berlin?

[manchita]

Sorry, didn't read the whole thread.
I am surprised at the 10 days off, seems a bit excessive to me

[ernest]

but you say other parents take them bacl the next day? So why not you too? Or rather, if this is the rule, why do they not (have to) adhere to it?